February 2, 2013

2013: Month 1

Happy January!

I didn’t make New Year’s resolutions this year.  I didn’t think there was a point.  I never keep them.  I always intend to make the new year the best one ever.  And then halfway through January I realize I haven’t done a damn thing.  Such is life.   Here’s what’s happening with  me:

School Update.  My second semester at Lakeland College began three weeks ago.  I’m enrolled in 9 credits this time, and it’s a bit of a relief.  Full time credits last semester nearly drove over the edge.  I worked my ass off to pass my courses and I walked away with a 4.0 GPA.  I have never done that before.  I’m not kidding.  I don’t know why I wasn’t this diligent with my studies in high school.  This was (and still is) an amazing accomplishment for me.  I did it while working full time, raising two kids and making sure the house didn’t fall apart.  I didn’t do it alone, though.  Without my husband’s help and support, things could have been ugly.  Next year I’ll graduate with my Bachelor’s degree.  I’m very excited about this!

Healthy Living.  I spent the first part of this month changing my exercise and eating habits.  I did not resolve to workout more or give up chocolate or any other nonsense.  I just decided to make more of an effort to go to the gym, and I’m learning to eat things that make me feel healthy.  I have been upping the fruits and veggies, reducing my portions and I’m staying away from all those foods that have very little nutritional value.

The Kids.  My boys are keeping me on my toes.  The Doodlebug is 8 years old and in second grade.  He loves to read and he recently dived into the Boxcar Children books.  I love that he loves reading, and I have him read to me often.  He’s getting pretty good at emphasizing parts of the story.

Little guy is 3 years old now, and he is the rebel.  Always into mischief, I am constantly following him around to make sure he’s not getting into anything.  Two minutes unattended and he decided to tip over a basket of folded laundry.  Because he thought it would be funny.  I can’t really get upset.  He is just too cute.

Now it is February already.  Where does the time go?

December 17, 2012

Last Thursday night I left work a few minutes late.  I had a productive day and wanted to get as much work done as possible before I punched out.  I got into the car and drove to Target.  I had bought Owen the Fisher-Price Servin’ Surprises Kitchen toy there a few days prior and needed to return it because I found it was much cheaper on Amazon.com.  Much to my surprise, Target had reduced their price to match and I was feeling pretty savvy as far as Christmas shopping goes.

On my way home I got stuck by the train on Hoover (or Country Club Drive, whichever you prefer).  Always a long wait (and too much of a pain in the butt to turn around and take the highway home), I called Doug to share my good fortune at Target.

“I can’t talk now,” he said hastily. “The kids are puking.”  Great, I thought.  The stomach bug that was going around finally made it to our house.

A few minutes later Doug called back to ask me to bring home Pedialyte and saltine crackers.  I thought it would be funny to tell him I’d be stuck behind the train for awhile and he’d just have to buck up and deal with the vomit.  He didn’t find it so funny.  Owen had thrown up twice and Dawson was coughing so hard he began to cry.

I spent that night laying on the couch with Owen, praying he would feel better by the morning.  I didn’t want to miss work.  I only had one last day of personal time to use and I had plan to take off the day after Christmas.

As luck would have it, my boys were miserable. I kept them both home from school and daycare.  I held Owen and rubbed his back.  I rubbed Dawson’s head because he complained of a headache.  When they went down for their naps, I went to Facebook to check out the news and was stricken with grief and sadness after learning of the violent massacre at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, CT.

Why?

WHY?  

That’s all I could think.

Why would anyone intend to murder innocent children and teachers?  What is the motive for such a heinous act?  What on earth would cause a 20-year-old boy to cause so much pain and sadness?

I could not begin to comprehend such a tragedy.  The trauma these children and their teachers endured is unthinkable.

When President Obama spoke during a news briefing I found myself crying.  As our president wiped tears from his eyes, for the first time I saw him as a sincere man – a husband and father, instead of a politician detached from the world I live in.  And when his speech was over I went to my sons and hugged them tight.  I stared at them as they slept and found myself weeping for all the parents who lost their children.  Twenty beautiful boys and girls.  One courageous principal and five heroic teachers/aides.

I tried not to think about the horror the surviving students experienced.  I went downstairs to wrap Christmas presents after Doug got home from work.  Standing in my laundry room, wrestling the wrapping paper and magic tape, I thought of all the presents that would never be opened by those children.  I felt their parents’ grief as they questioned why God would allow such an act of terror to take the lives of their kids.  These children were six and seven years old.  First graders.  My own son was in the first grade last year.  I couldn’t stop sobbing as I imagined this tragedy happening in my town.  A town similar in size to Newtown.  No one is invincible.  This can happen anywhere and this haunts me.

I want so badly to take away the pain of those who are suffering.  I want so much to have the power to rewind — to go back and undo this.  To go back and find a way to stop it from happening.  To stop that man from hurting those innocent people.

Instead, all I can do is pray.  Pray.  I ask God to comfort those who lost their loved ones.  To show them His love for them and to help them overcome the grief that washes over them.  And I know that those who were taken from their families far too soon are walking with God in Heaven.  This is the only thought that comforts me now.  I continue to pray for those who lost their lives and their families. We will never forget them.  Never.

November 18, 2012

11.18.2012

I am laughing hysterically as I type this because it almost seems pointless to do this again.  The whole, “Hi! I’m back! It’s been so long! I’m still here!” thing is just so dumb.  Like anyone reads this old blog anyway.  I mean, I know I don’t.  And if there is anyone out there (I feel like I’m stuck in an X Files episode all of a sudden) reading my blog, I’m sorry for repeating the same old crap.  No, really, I mean it.

So…what have you been missing?  Here’s what:

• In two weeks I’ll have finished my first semester at Lakeland College.  Just 3 more (maybe four) to go until I’ve earned a Bachelor’s Degree in Business Management.  It feels like forever away but the first two years at MSTC flew by faster than I realized.
• Still working full time in the insurance industry bringing in the dough to pay for the above mentioned education.  And you know, the mortgage, too.
• My kids are keeping me on my toes as usual.  Doodlebug is in 2nd grade already and my little munchkin is three years old.  When the hell did that happen?  I miss the baby.
• The election totally and completely pissed me off.  I have so much to say about this, but I’ll refrain.  It’s over and done.  The big BO was reelected to office and we’re freakin’ stuck with him the next four years.  Or until the end of the world hits, which I’m starting to think may happen sooner than we think.  (Okay, I’m kidding…sheesh.)
• I’m not ready for the holidays.  I haven’t bought a turkey for Thanksgiving and I don’t think I will.  And Christmas shopping?  Haven’t even started.  I’m a procrastinator and I am not afraid to admit it.

Okay…so that’s what’s up right now.  I know I’m forgetting things, but do you really care?  I don’t even care.

See you in another month.

Heh.

October 1, 2012

10.01.12

Another month gone.  Hello, October.  I’m sad that summer is really and truly over.  Wasn’t it just yesterday that the kids and I were enjoying the sunshine at Sunset Lake?

I’m ready for Fall.  I like the brilliant colors of the changing leaves on the trees.  The building I work in (pictured here) offers an amazing view of the Sentry World golf course and each day I notice less green and more yellow, orange and red.  It’s almost magical.  The reality that Winter is soon to follow almost spoils my Autumn daydreaming.

I’ve been keeping myself very busy since breaking away from Facebook.  I’ve got a ton of homework and mid-term exams begin next week.  I’m having a bit of nervous breakdown.  I’m studying like mad and rarely crawl into bed before 11:30 each night.  Waking up the next day is that much harder.

Getting the boys ready for school and daycare , as well as making sure I look my best, is really freakin’ exhausting.  I don’t know how other women do this.  How do juggle so many roles without dropping something?

What are your tips for staying sane when life is…well…really chaotic?