March 24, 2012

Marching into Spring

I’m just going to roll my eyes and laugh because I’ve done it again.  I swore I would start to blog more regularly and then a month goes by and I realize I haven’t written a new post.  I used to love blogging.  I used to wake up and want to write.  I don’t know know what happened to me.  I mean, yeah, I’m busy.  But who isn’t?  I have spent the morning visiting all the blogs I used to read religiously and I’m sad that I’ve missed so much.  I don’t even know how long it’s been since I stopped reading blogs.  I’ll never catch up with my favorite blogger’s lives.  It could take years.

I have realized that blogging stopped being a priority in my life around the time Owen was born.  Instead of embracing the opportunity to document his milestones I felt an intense need for privacy.  I needed to devote time to living life and being with my children.  Writing publicly about them seemed like a mistake.  I wasn’t a blogger until Dawson was about 3 years old and I never really shared too much about him, either.

Sometimes I regret not sharing my memories, and I want to begin now.  But where do I start?

I could tell you (is there anyone out there?) about how Owen is almost 2 1/2 and he is talking up a storm.  His explosion of speech only started in the last month or so.  He’s been saying a only a handful of words for the last 9 months, but now he’s jabbering all day long.  It’s like watching a toddler talk show.  He tells me about the chippy (chipmunk) that got hit by a car near Grandma’s house.  He talks about playing football with his Guy.  That’s what he calls his big brother.  He refuses to say Dawson’s name.  Instead he’ll say things like, “Where my Guy go?” after Dawson leaves for school.  It’s the cutest thing.

This morning he found the stash of sour gummy worms and Jolly Rancher jelly beans I’ve been hiding until Easter.  He brought the bags to me and said, “Mumma, me have gummy?  Me have gemmy bean?”  I just giggled.  The cute is killing me.   It’s not so cute when he tells me “no” however.  I will ask him to pick up his toys and he just gives me a devilish grin and says, “No!”  I can’t get upset with him, though.  He’s just too cute.

Owen is fascinated with Bob the Builder.  When Dawson was around 3 years old we visited the National Railroad Museum in Green Bay, Wisconsin.  Thomas the Train was there and we bought Dawson a set of Thomas trains and Bob the Builder toys.  Owen is learning all the machines’ names.  I love hearing him say, “Scoop” and “Muck” because he’s so animated when he does.  Dawson pulled all the old Bob DVDs out of the cabinet and every day we watch an episode.  Owen just loves this show.  Just like his Guy.

Dawson is a first grader now.  He’s reading and practicing addition and subtraction.  I can’t get over how much he’s grown.  At 7 years old, his favorite things are Star Wars Legos, watching the Clone Wars cartoon on TV and playing soccer.  He loves playing with the neighbor boys across the street, too.  They are home-schooled, and after Dawson does his homework he runs across the street to ride bikes with them.

As for me, I’m just busy finishing school, studying for my insurance exam and working full time.  We’re working hard to save money so we can start remodeling our bathroom and eventually the kitchen.  We are also trying to plan a family vacation but everyone has different opinions about where we should go and what we should do.  Dawson wants Disney World.  Doug wants to go to Canada.  I’m just happy with getting away from the chaos for a few days.

Welcome to my world.

Crazy. Busy. Fun.

The weather in Wisconsin has been unusually warm.  We never really had much snow and a few weeks ago the temperatures were in the 70s and 80s.  On my birthday (St. Patrick’s Day) it was 76 degrees.  I don’t remember having a birthday in which I could have sunbathed.  I didn’t of course.  I’m not swimsuit ready by any means.  That’s another thing I’m tackling.  I gained a few pounds over the holidays and I haven’t had a chance to get back to the gym.  I definitely need to shed this weight.  Once and for all.

Wah.  I feel like I’m whining and rambling.

Enough about me.  Time to get back to reading your blogs.   I miss you all.

February 10, 2012

February, Already?

Dawson and Owen are sick.  The poor little ones have caught a nasty bug.  Dawson missed school yesterday and today.  He’s been coughing and he can barely talk, I took his temperature and freaked out when it read 103.3 – thank God for children’s ibuprofen.  Owen had a fever of 102.9 and I gave him half a dose just to be safe.

Right now they are curled up on the couch watching something on the Disney channel.  It’s almost 10:30 here.  I feel guilty for letting them stay up this late, but they’ve been sleeping most of the day.  I’m pretty sure their sleep cycles are completely messed up.  I’ll probably pay for that tomorrow.

Doug had the day off and he took care of the boys while I went to work.  I’d almost rather have stayed home.  My day was totally unproductive.  We had a meeting from 10 a.m. to 11:30 and it put a wrench in my day.  I just couldn’t get back on track.  The audits I had to review were missing something; paperwork, questions not fully answered, uncooperative insureds.  I couldn’t wait for the day to end.  I can only hope Monday is better.

I’m worried about the kiddos.  I really hope Dawson starts feeling better quickly.  Sunday afternoon is his Cub Scout troop’s Pinewood Derby.  He and his father have been working on that car for days and Dawson is so proud of the work they did.  I loved seeing them spend time together, working on a project that seemed to be a lot of fun for them both.  They have yet to paint the car but I’m sure they’ll tackle it tomorrow.

I spent most of my night cuddling with Owen who is very clingy when he’s sick.  After awhile I had to have Doug take my place so I could get some of my homework completed.  This semester has been very crazy. Four classes is a lot!  I knew I’d have to focus, but I feel like I’m burning the candle at both ends.  Add in the insurance designation course I’m taking through work — it’s no wonder I’m always tired.

I love school and I’m looking forward to graduating this May, but it really is difficult to study and raise a family and work 40 hours a week.  I don’t know what I was thinking.  I’m no Wonder Woman.

The only thing keeping me going is the light at the end of a dark tunnel.  13 weeks to go until graduation…

December 30, 2011

It’s a Kindle Kind of Christmas

My fall semester was over on December 19th and I’ve been enjoying my time off before the Spring semester beginsin two weeks.  This is my last semester at Mid-State Technical College.  I’m looking forward to graduation in May.  I can’t believe all my hard work is paying off.  Soon I will have an Associates Degree in Business Management.  I’m super excited!  I’m also freaking out because my boss has recommended that I complete my AINS Designation and the facilitator-led course begins on January 18th.  I’m pretty certain I will not have a life from now until October which is when the AINS courses will end.  I don’t know what I’ve gotten myself into, but I know I can do this.  I was planning on starting my Bachelor’s Degree in the fall, but I think I may need to focus on finishing the AINS courses and passing the tests first.

Our Christmas was wonderful.  Dawson and Owen got just a few toys this year, but they were everything they wanted.  Dawson and his uncle immediately went to work on building the Star Wars Lego clone battle ship and they finished it in just over two hours.  It had like 4 million pieces and I knew I wouldn’t have the patience to put it together.  Dawson also got Super Mario Galaxy for the Wii and he loves it.  My sister-in-law bought him more Legos and my brother gave him a gift card and he bought Mario 3D World for his Nintendo 3DS.  He has been playing with his gifts ever since.

Owen loved the Little People Wheelies Stand N’ Play Rampway.  He was so excited when he tore off the wrapping paper and saw the toy.  Daddy and Mommy put it together immediately.  It has four race cars and Owen coerced his brother to play with him.  It really is a fun toy.

I got a few gift cards for Christmas and decided to spoil myself.  I bought both the Kindle Touch 3G and the Kindle Fire.  I didn’t intend on getting both.  It was sort of an oversight.

When the original Kindle first came out, I swore I would never buy one.  ”I love real books; paper and ink and binding,” I had said.  As an avid reader I have at least one hundred books on my shelves.  I didn’t like the idea of an e-Reader taking the place of my favorite novels.  Fast forward to now.  I can’t fit any more books on my shelves.  Friends have been suggesting I get a Kindle for several months.   I thought long and hard about it and decided to get one.

I went to Target with Doug and played around with the Kindle Fire.  I looooved it, but they were sold out at the store.  So I went online to Amazon and bought it.  While waiting for it to ship I started reading the reviews and some people were saying that they really preferred the E-ink on the Kindle Touch because it didn’t cause as much eye strain.  Another reviewer flat out said that avid readers should not buy the Kindle Fire.  I was miffed.  I tried to cancel the order with Amazon but it was too late.

Meanwhile, I went to Target and bought the Kindle Touch 3G with the intention of returning the Fire immediately after it arrived.  I fell in love with the Touch and have been reading Pride and Prejudice (yes, again – I love Jane Austen).  Then the Fire arrived.  I tried not to open the box.  I was going to just print the label and return it.  But then that little box kept calling me.  And without thinking I ripped it open and started using it.  I can’t return it now!

I feel guilty.  I really spoiled myself.  I don’t do this often.  I don’t ever buy “big” things for myself.  I like to justify the Fire as a gift for the whole family.  We can all use it.  Right?

Wow.  The guilt.  It is killing me!

December 6, 2011

A Much Over Due Update

My last few weeks of school are wrapping up for this semester.  I’m just ready to be done.  Like yesterday.  I will have completed three of four semesters at before the end of the month and I am starting to panic about graduating next May.  I know I can do this, I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.  It’s just that I worry about strange things happening – things beyond my control – like getting in a car accident and being in a coma for five months.  Irrational.  Yes, I know.

I think this is just a combination of my natural tendency to worry (a lot) and lack of sleep.  I haven’t been in bed before 10 p.m. in many long weeks.  I’m tired of it.  Pun intended.

Okay, and I’m just too busy.  I’m still learning the ins and outs of my new position at work.  Training is an ongoing process.  There is so much to know about the insurance industry.  Even applying my years of insurance experience isn’t enough to breeze through this training.  Also, worker’s compensation insurance is complex.  Each state follows it’s own rules on what is defined as a covered employee and I’m constantly learning all the “tricky situations” and exceptions to the rule.  It’s no wonder I crash on the couch for 10 minutes the second I walk through the front door.  I have to give my brain a break.

Lately I have had zero ambition to do anything other than go to work, get my homework and studying done each night, and try (oh, do I try) to spend quality time with the boys.  My poor kids.  I have slowly realized they are beginning to prefer Daddy over Mommy.  Mommy is always busy.  Mommy is burning the candle at both ends.

I’m learning to let go of some of the Mommy Guilt, however.  Tonight after work I rushed to Dawson’s school to watch him in wrestling practice.  Then he had a Cub Scout meeting at the Lutheran church down the street (we’re Catholic, but all of Dawson’s classmates are in this particular pack and the meetings are within walking distance of our house – it’s like killing two birds with one stone because I squeeze in some much needed exercise).  Our den leader is the mom of Dawson’s best friend and their family attends the same church we do.  It’s nice to have friends I can commiserate with.  It’s a win-win.

This is Dawson’s first year in wrestling.  When the registration form came home from school I asked him what he thought about it.  He said, “Yeah, Mom.  I think I might like to try it.”

I was a little nervous the first night (which was yesterday) because he really had no experience with the sport, but thankfully his coach was a wrestler in high school and college so he had lots of experience.  I think I may have gone to high school with him, actually, as he looks very familiar.  I keep meaning to ask him his name, but I’m get sidetracked and forget.

Tonight, Dawson won a “take down” against a second grader and he was super pumped.  It makes me happy to see him having fun and learning so many different things.  Plus, he likes to be active.  It’s good for him.

Owen is growing like a weed.  I bought him some pants a few weeks ago and I realized tonight they are getting to tight in the legs.  My little guy isn’t so little.  He’s got a strong build and I can definitely picture him as a tackle on the football team.  He loves to do everything Dawson does and this evening they played a mini game of  ”wrestle mania.”  Thank goodness Dawson knows that he has to be gentle with Owen.  But little brother is definitely a brute.  He didn’t hesitate to charge at his big brother and take him down.  Good times.

Overall, things are good.  Crazy chaotic, but I can’t really complain.  Life is….good!