November 28, 2007

Sexually Explicit Book Endorsed by Planned Parenthood?

Last month I reviewed Third Base Ain’t What It Used to Be, by Logan Levkoff, a book about teaching our children about sex. I loved Logan’s book because she offers advice and suggestions to parents on how to to talk to their kids about sex according to their values.

I believe Logan’s book is valuable to all parents, even those with strong religious beliefs, because it does not push a political or religious agenda and gives parents the facts and resources they’ll need to answer honestly when their children ask about sex.

Very recently, I was contacted by Michael Hichborn, the media director for American Life League. Michael was contacting pro-life and Catholic bloggers to ask if they would consider posting content and videos intended to shed light on several issues regarding abortion, sex and Planned Parenthood.

Before I agreed to do so, I asked what the content of each video would be, and when he sent the link to the first video I was surprised to learn that Planned Parenthood was endorsing a book titled It’s Perfectly Normal that displays sexually explicit cartoon images on it’s pages. The cover of the book states “for ages 10 and up”.

I played the video and at first thought the book was harmless — until I saw the images, as well as a sentence about masturbation that states, “And some religions call masturbation a sin. But masturbating cannot hurt you.” This statement upsets me because of it’s blatant attack on religion. Planned Parenthood couldn’t find a way to give factual information about masturbation without denouncing religion? If this isn’t a political agenda, I don’t know what is.

Many readers know that I’m an active member of the Catholic church. My beliefs regarding sex and abortion are based on my faith, therefore I personally could never use this book as a reference when talking to my son about sex.

Strip away the religion factor and what’s left is a book that is targeting children who may not be mature enough to understand the content.

This book definitely consists of mature, more adult-themed concepts.  I would be extremely upset if this book was used in sexual education classes without parental consent, and even angrier if my son or daughter found this book in the school library. When will Planned Parenthood realize that parents have the right to determine what is best for their minor children?

I understand not all parents are able to discuss sex with their kids. I understand that children will contact others when they have questions they can’t ask their parents. But I feel that these “other persons” have a responsibility to talk to the parents, and let them know what is happening with their children, so they can make the effort to understand and answer their questions.

It’s disgusting to see reports about young girls having abortions without parental consent. It makes me sick that Planned Parenthood will perform an abortion, and not report all cases of statutory rape if they “don’t ask and don’t tell”. Enough is enough. Planned Parenthood has indeed gone too far.

I went to Amazon.com and read some of the book’s reviews by other parents.

JGM wrote:

“I didn’t have to read this book to know that it was far too much for my 11 year old daughter. If you believe that cartoon characters in explicit illustrations including people have missionary sex, oral sex, wearing condoms is appropriate for your age 9-11 year old child, then I would recommend you buy the book. However, if you believe that the subject should be dealt with sensitivity and a bit more seriousness, I would most certainly not recommend this ridiculous book. I returned the book to Amazon.”

V. Christensen wrote:

“This book is well done, but definitely too mature for my eleven year old son. I think it will be a good resource when he starts going through puberty. Not all the views expressed are those of my own, so I will always sit down with my son and go over this book together. There are a lot of graphic illustrations which may be too much for some families. I think it is well put together and can help answer some of those uncomfortable questions kids have. I recommend the book, but it should be accompanied by parental supervision and content awareness.”

QueenBean84 wrote:

“I started reading this book with my 9-year old son. At first I was embarrassed by the pictures and text. My son was perfectly fine! To him, it was just another science book! This books presents sexual information in a way that pre-teens can understand. I feel better knowing that my son got the correct information from me rather than incorrect information from his friends. I could not have done this without this book.”

(I think that if pictures in a book make a parent feel embarrassed, chances are it’s not appropriate to share with children. If I am (as a parent) not comfortable talking about sex to begin with, using a book with explicit information isn’t going to be any better. However, kudos to this mom for getting over her fear.)

But, what Ginger Parker wrote really struck me:

“When I was about 5 as a little girl I was playing at another kid’s house. That other kid was 5 years older and MUCH larger than me. She told me that she wanted to show me something and that it was a secret. I was excited about a “secret” and wanted to see. She led me into her room and closed and locked the door behind her. Her room was cluttered like any kids room and she pulled a book from underneath some small blankets on the floor. It was a book with cartoon pictures inside. They were cartoon drawings of boys and girls similar to the ones in this book. Some of those pictures included vague sexual activities. As a child I was curious about the book and in awe of what it showed. I was too young to understand all the words and I do not remember much of what I did understand. I remember reading the word sex, but that is the only one that I can confirm.

While viewing the book she said “I have an idea. Let’s try these!” and pointed to a man and a woman having sex in missionary position and another photo of a girl having oral sex performed by another man. I told her that I did not want to try those and that they did not make me feel comfortable.

Unfortunately the whole event is something that I remember in great detail to this day (21 years later). I will not go into great detail, but I was forced to perform those actions, among others shown in the book. To this day I can remember the smells and tastes and the physical pain as I was being hit and my hair pulled when not complying and to put me where she wanted me to be. I remember the weight of her body as she forced herself down upon me so hard that I could not get away or even move.

I had not put much thought into the incident in my adult years. I remember it, but did not feel the pain… until I saw this book. It is books like these that portray sex to children in such a way that they want to explore it aggressively for themselves. And if they cannot find cooperative partners they will make one. It could be the neighbor’s boy, it could be their sister, or their cousin. You may say, “No, not my child.”, but I believe that children will do very bad things sometimes because they don’t understand it. In this books case it would be condoned and therefore it might be ok to go farther because the people in the pictures were doing it.”

You can read the full reviews here.

I understand that many people will have different opinions. Below is the video from the American Life League, as well as a copy of the press release.

American Life League releases video report on children’s sex book

WASHINGTON, D.C. · November 19, 2007 / PRNewswire / – “Parents need to know what Planned Parenthood has in store for their children and this report is an excellent starting point,” said Jim Sedlak, vice president of American Life League. “The book ‘It’s Perfectly Normal’ is obscene and offensive to Christians.”

American Life League’s second video report exposes the contents of the book “It’s Perfectly Normal.” Recently, a Washington State Prison rejected a fundraising letter that included censored images from the book for being “sexually explicit” and “obscene.”

American Life League released the report as a part of its continuing effort to educate the public on Planned Parenthood’s activities.

“This video report is just the beginning,” said Sedlak. “We will continue to use this new media to expose the nation’s largest abortion chain and we call on Christians across the nation to join us in putting a stop to tax payer funds for Planned Parenthood.”

For the truth about Planned Parenthood, check out these related links:

Protect Your Children - exposing Planned Parenthood’s war on childhood innocence

Sign our petition to end tax funding for Planned Parenthood

Get the Wednesday STOPP Report

Help us continue with these releases

See the ad information that a Washington State Prison rejected

If you’d like to see what Planned Parenthood has to say about this book, you can find an interview with the author here.

I strongly recommend Logan Levkoff’s book, Third Base Ain’t What It Used to Be, if you’re looking for a resource to use when talking to your children about sex.

For Catholic parents (and those who want a reference book about sex and abstinence), I recommend Sex, Love and You: Making the Right Decision by Thomas and Judith Lickona.

———-

This post is intended to pass on the message that Planned Parenthood has gone too far with the endorsement of the book It’s Perfectly Normal. There are some great services that Planned Parenthood health centers provide, such as high-quality gynecological care, STI/STD testing and treatment, and pregnancy testing, and I believe that women are entitled to these services if they are unable to find them elsewhere.

However, I do not support abortion, distributing birth control pills to minors or the offering of emergency contraception. I understand, and accept, that not all persons reading this post will agree with my beliefs; please consider the nature of your comments before posting.

October 11, 2007

Talking About Sex

Recently, I had the opportunity to read Third Base Ain’t What it Used to Be, by Logan Levkoff. Hers is one of the best books about sex that I’ve read in a very long time.

When I received the book in the mail I was a bit skeptical. I have a three year old son. How would it benefit me to know how to talk to him about sex at his age, I wondered.

Turns out, I would be learning more than I bargained for. Starting with the right terminology for our reproductive anatomy.

Levkoff encourages parents to say vulva and penis as early as our children are born. It’s less embarrassing, she writes, for your little darling to say penis than wee-wee. I have to agree.

I immediately began asking Dawson if he knew where his penis was and he looked perplexed. Doug, however, thought I was insane.

“He can’t be saying penis! He’s three!” he said.

“Do you really want him to say pee-pee? I think it’s smart to say the right words!” I shot back.

I told Doug to read Logan’s book and he sort of rolled his eyes at me. I caught him later, peeking at pages when he thought I wasn’t looking.

My husband does not read books. Ever. The mere fact that he picked up this book was well worth the discussion on terminology!

Guess which three-year-old now knows where his penis and scrotum are? (Yes, he says scrotum and I have to admit it makes me giggle just a tad.)

When I was a child my parents didn’t discuss sex or anatomy unless we were talking about using the toilet, while taking a bath, or discussing where babies came from.

Boys had pee-pees and girls had tee-tahs. I don’t even have a clue where my parents came up with these words. And as for babies, they came from God. That’s all I knew.

As Catholics, conversations about sexuality often turned religious. “Don’t have sex before marriage. Don’t go out with boys until you’re twenty. Don’t say penis and vagina unless you’re in science class. Sex education in school is okay only if they’re talking about anatomy and reproduction. Homosexuality is a sin.” The list of taboo topics was as long as the Nile.

Levkoff offers pointers that will make these conversations less stressful for parents and children. She tells us to:

1. Take a deep breath.
2. Make it simple.
3. No clue? No problem.
4. Timing is essential.
5. Be patient.
6. Practice makes perfect.
7. Actions speak louder than words.
8. Don’t make assumptions.

Of course her advice is more detailed, and you’ll have to read her book to get the full value of her excellent ideas (trust me you will not be disappointed!). I believe the last tip is the most important.

As a teenager, if I brought up sex with my mother she would instantly say, “You’re not having sex, are you?”

I was embarrassed for asking, and mad that she assumed I was sexually active. Often, I became defensive and withdrawn out of fear that I’d get in trouble for something I didn’t even do. I know my mother meant well and she was probably as scared as I was to discuss sex.

After that incident, I decided Mom wasn’t my best resource. I find this sad when I look back on it today. I found my answers at the local library by reading The “What’s Happening to My Body” Book for Girls, circa 1984. Frankly, the book scared me, and I couldn’t go to my mother to ask her for clarification.

I was 17 when I finally got up the nerve to ask again, and this time my mother took another approach. She sat down and talked to me about sex. She told me about the first time she had sex, how she was a virgin and didn’t have sex before marriage, and I remember her saying sex hurt. A lot. She didn’t like it. Or maybe she said she wasn’t supposed to like it? I was in shock and don’t remember much else.

Logan addresses the question about women experiencing pain the first time they have sex, as well as questions about sex during menstruation. I was cheering because finally someone was willing to tell the truth to these young girls.

I can only hope that other mothers aren’t afraid to speak to their daughters about this. The best part is that Logan talks about teaching our daughters that sex is enjoyable. It is perfectly okay for women to enjoy sex. This isn’t just for the benefit of men.

Alleluia! I distinctly remember a time when I was made to feel ashamed for liking sex with my husband.

My mother talked to me about sex from a religious standpoint. I was appreciative, but I was also afraid of the consequences of pre-marital sex and “what God would think”.

Not to discredit my mother, because I was a virgin until I met my husband and he’s my one and only partner. I must have retained some of my mother’s Catholic values, but I don’t believe in the scare tactics or the “Fear of God” method.

This book offers solid advice. Levkoff even asked her students what they wish they’re parents knew when talking to them about sex. She answers the most common questions kids and teens ask about sex and shares a few anecdotes about some questions she may not have expected.

One student asked “How do you know if your father is cheating on your mother?” Imagine your child asking that question. What would you say?

Logan addresses homosexuality and several myths associated with it; she talks about pregnancy, abortion, miscarriage, cybersex, phone sex, pornography and many other issues our children know about, even when we think they don’t. Think about all the sexual imagery that adults see every day. Our children aren’t stupid, they know. They see it, too.

Levkoff also debunks the five most common sex myths, such as: A woman cannot become pregnant if she has unprotected sex during her period, oral sex is safe sex, “pulling out” is an effective safer-sex method, if the person “looks clean” they “are clean” and anal and oral sex are good ways of maintaining your virginity.

I was very impressed with the mountain of information presented, yet it was not overwhelming or scary. Logan is precise without burdening a parent with too much information.

Levkoff gives the facts, she is straightforward and her book is easy to read. Most importantly, she helps you teach your children about sex according to your values. What parent could ask for anything more?

I strongly urge you to go out and get Third Base Ain’t What it Used to Be. It’s worth your time. I’ve already passed my copy to my mother. I have a sixteen-year-old brother and I don’t want her to feel uncomfortable when talking to him about sex! (Maybe my dad should read it, too!)

July 31, 2007

We Interrupt This Blog…

…to bring you The Best of BlogHer 2007 Awards. 

The Mominatrix herself graciously awarded me as the Most Unlikely Blogger to Share a Sex Story that Involved Dildos.  You can hear all about it here.

Yes, tis true.  I conceived the Doodlebug (with help from my husband of course) after a night of good vibrations with the Blue Dolphin and the Matador.

(Please dear God, do not let my mother read this.  And if a certain 16-year-old brother is reading this blog today, so help me I’ll kick your butt if you tell Mom.  The last thing I need is a Catholic-girls-don’t-use-vibes talk, mmmkay?)

And so, Mom-101 requested an acceptance speech (I’m assuming because of this?).  Here goes:

I’d like to thank the Academy (most notably Mominatrix, The Hottie Who Had Sex with Danny Bonaduce, The Queen and Her Bad Mother) for all I’ve learned about hot and sweaty sex.

I’ve discovered that Good Girls Have Pubes, a vacuum can get you off, not to use KY that sounds like a douche product (and slippy-slidey sex is best!), I really need to get the Cone, and it’s okay to let your inner super-freak out once in awhile.

And so, as I stand before you all on this awards ceremony stage, holding this Glass Phallus Statuette, I must give credit to the women who have shown me that Catholic conservatives can be raunchy in the bedroom and it doesn’t have to be for the sake of the procreation of this already over-crowded planet.

Because I’m so thrilled to receive this honor, I promise to give back to the community by donating my time to teaching other shy Catholics how to use whips and handcuffs.

Holy shit.  Was that lightning that flashed next to my head?