I had to quickly get in the shower and wash away all the tears, wash away the pain, before leaving for CCD.  I’m teaching 2nd grade this year, and tonight was our Christmas program.

I didn’t know how I was going to get through the lyrics of “Away In a Manger” without crying, but when I arrived at church I felt calm.  No more tears.  No more anger.  Just a feeling of peace.  A welcomed feeling that everything was going to be okay.

And then the nausea hit.  On top of the cramps from hell I had to fight the urge to throw up in the beautiful poinsettias in the foyer. Although, strangely, the plant’s red leaves reminded me of my awful PMS.

I managed to get through the wave of nausea.   And the students sang their songs beautifully.

Aren’t they sweet?  After the little concert I rounded up the kids and their parents and led them to the Mary room for cookies and juice.  I then quickly excused myself to throw up in the ladies room.

It’s the freakin’ flu.  I figured it out once I got home and threw up again.  Cold sweats, body chills and stomach upset quickly followed.  This morning?  I feel like death warmed up.

So maybe my body was too busy fighting this awful bug and couldn’t be bothered with conception.

Okay, I know.  I’m losing it.  At least I’m trying to look on the bright side.

Although if puking all night and day is the bright side of this situation?  All I have to say is, “Ugh!”

Instead of enduring the pushing and shoving, I stayed home and watched a few episodes of Beverly Hills, 90210.  I have the first six seasons on DVD (no, I didn’t buy them all at once, too expensive) and currently I’m viewing Season 5.

It’s hilarious to watch my former favorite show, now, as an adult.  Not only do I reminisce the crazy 90s fashions, but I get to laugh at the fact that I swore I would marry Luke Perry when I grew up.  Oh, yes I did!  I’m not afraid to admit it.

After I got bored with the show I went over to Amazon.com to check out the sales.  I found a few things to add to the Christmas wish list, but nothing that I really needed.  With the economy as it is, I’m afraid to spend even one dollar on anything that isn’t an absolute must.

Even though I’m not worried about mine or my husband’s job, because we’re finally (somewhat) financially stable, I do realize the future can change in the blink of an eye.  Losing my old job last February has taught me a valuable lesson in frugality, and I’ve learned to appreciate things I once took for granted.  Also, I don’t feel content about spending money compulsively.

Yesterday, when my parents came to get Dawson for the day, my father told me about the Walmart employee who was trampled to death in Long Island, NY.  I’m appalled.  Has our society become so greedy, and so focused on consumerism?

It makes me sick to my stomach.  Someone died because people no longer give a shit about anyone but themselves.  People no longer care about the lives of others.  Instead, they worry about getting the newest digital camera, iPod, laptop or what-the-fack-ever at the best prices.  Who cares if they kill someone, so long as that present is purchased, gift-wrapped, and placed under the tree!

Is this what it has come to?  (Heavenly Father, I hope not, because this is a depressing thought.)

Have we forgotten what Christmas is about?  Christmas isn’t about gadgets, toys and electronics.  It’s about celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ.  If we’re not celebrating the birth of the Son of God, then what on Earth are we doing?

Now before you get all goofy on me for voicing my opinion, please hear me out.  I know that not everyone who goes shopping the day after Thanksgiving is crazy.  Many of you are very kind and considerate and would never harm another person over a Black Friday sale.

I’m just sad because it’s become clear to me that the true meaning of Christmas has been lost.  It’s time to for us to find it again.

I’m Bringing Christmas Back.  Stay Tuned.

It’s hard to believe that we’ve been gathering every Christmas for the last twenty-six years. That first celebration was the smallest, because not all of my aunts and uncles were married, but as our families expanded, year after year, it became a challenge to cram almost forty people in one location.

My mother is the oldest, followed by her sisters, Judy, Donna and Mary, and her brothers, Michael, Carl and Paul. Out of seven kids, only two are unmarried. In order to understand the insanity in my family, I’ll give you a little back-story.

My mom and her sister Judy are very close, and my aunts, Donna and Mary are inseparable. Besides being sisters, they are best friends and very often exclude my mom and Aunt Judy from conversations and events. I could even say that there’s a small rivalry between families.

Both aunts were stay-at-home parents, married to husbands with high-paying mill jobs. Both Donna and Mary each have five children that are very close in age to the other’s kids, and the two families have been known to spend a lot of time together.

It should be said that I’m the firstborn grandchild, followed by my cousin, Hedy, who is two years younger than me. Hedy and I were “best friends” until our high school years when we drifted apart. We really didn’t have much in common as the years went by.

Hedy and her sisters have gone to prestigious universities, they work for prominent companies, and they travel across the country, as well as internationally, and they usually date very good-looking boyfriends. It can be rather intimidating to listen to them speak of their latest accomplishment or amazing trip to Amsterdam (or was it Paris?).

I’ve never felt the need to compete with my cousins, but my aunts seem to measure a person’s “worth” by their social status, how much money they make, or the clothes they wear. They’ll never admit it, but sometimes I feel as though I’m being compared to their very gorgeous, thin, single, childless daughters.

This Christmas was held at my parents’ house. When my cousins arrived I felt the dread of having to make conversation with these very accomplished girls. I know it sounds like I’m jealous, but that isn’t the case. I’m very proud of my cousins’ successes – they’ve worked very hard to get where they are – but I find it difficult to listen to them brag about how “wonderful” they are and the “amazing” lives they lead. Are they trying to impress me? Are they insecure about one part of their lives so they embellish the details of another part? Who knows?

I tried to be polite and courteous, and I did my best to keep a smile on my face and be interested in their lives, but part of me thought, “Who cares?” Not one of my cousins asked me about my life, or about Dawson or about my job. It wasn’t until my sister brought up my blogging that they took an interest.

If I had a dollar for every time I was asked what a blog was, or what BlogHer was all about, I could afford my own trip to Amsterdam (or perhaps Paris?). My very liberal cousins were shocked to discover that I write about conservative politics. And my awesome sister did some bragging on my behalf.

“She writes for BlogHer.com,” Rachel said. “And, she’s really good at it. And she’s going to New York and San Francisco, too, for the blogging conferences.”

I laughed inside, because of the raised eyebrows and strange looks I was getting. Thankfully, my brother, Frankie, put on the videotape from Christmas 1989 (saved by the TV!), to break up the tension in the room. My uncle, Mike, had brought his VHS recorder and documented our holiday celebration that year. Frank thought it would be fun to watch that old video.

I smiled when I saw Grandma Alice on the screen. It’s been two years since her death (she died December 6, 2005) and I miss her terribly. It was amazing that everyone gathered around the television to reminisce the early Christmas parties we had. How fast time goes by.

The best part of watching this old tape was that it took place in the house I live in now. We bought my childhood home from my parents five years ago when they built their dream house. My husband had never seen our home prior to the addition my dad built to the back of the house in 1991.

It was so foreign to look at that old floor plan. I had forgotten about that ugly brown linoleum in the old kitchen, which is currently underneath the current flooring. I laughed when I saw the old deck door (which is now an open entry-way to our current dining room). I remember that the lock was broken, so my mother put a dowelling rod behind it, “just in case burglars try to get it.” It never occurred to her that they would probably just break the glass.

And then, I heard Grandma’s voice coming through the speakers and I started crying. As I write this, the tears are rolling down my cheeks. Eighteen years ago, on December 25, Grandma Alice was sitting in my living room, watching her grandchildren open their Christmas presents.

My Christmas tree is in the same spot my mother place our tree in 1989. If I close my eyes, I can see it all again – no VHS required. I can smell the real tree my father cut from the local Christmas tree farm. I can see the mountains of presents underneath it, the flashing multi-colored string of lights, the handmade ornaments my siblings and I made.

My youngest brother, Frank wasn’t even born yet, so my sister was the baby of the family. I remember painting her finger and toenails and crimping her hair for the Christmas party.

I laughed when Grandma Alice said, “Honest to God, Mikey!” to my uncle as he videotaped her. She didn’t want to be on camera, but thank the Lord she was! I’m so grateful we could look back on that Christmas, eighteen years ago. I still can’t get over how fast time goes by…

I remember that Grandma made Polish sausage (kielbasa), and how the awful smell of sauerkraut wafted through the air when someone lifted the lid on the crock-pot.

I remember Aunt Judy getting a little tipsy from eggnog – or maybe she was just sugared up on Diet Pepsi (it wasn’t caffeine-free at that time) — and telling us she once ran naked through the woods on the farm.

I remember saying my prayers with Grandma — the “Our Father” and the “Hail Mary” — and how proud she was that I prayed with her. I remember the nativity, and how we celebrated the birth of our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ.

As we watched that videotape, I began to realize that it doesn’t matter what clothes we wear, or how much money we make, that proves whether we are a worthy person.

We must cherish the reason we gathered together in the first place. We gathered to celebrate the birth of Christ. We celebrated with our loved ones, our families. We gathered to cherish the many blessings we’ve been given. We gathered together to treat each other with kindness, respect and love. That’s what it’s all about. That is what really matters.

I believe Logan’s book is valuable to all parents, even those with strong religious beliefs, because it does not push a political or religious agenda and gives parents the facts and resources they’ll need to answer honestly when their children ask about sex.

Very recently, I was contacted by Michael Hichborn, the media director for American Life League. Michael was contacting pro-life and Catholic bloggers to ask if they would consider posting content and videos intended to shed light on several issues regarding abortion, sex and Planned Parenthood.

Before I agreed to do so, I asked what the content of each video would be, and when he sent the link to the first video I was surprised to learn that Planned Parenthood was endorsing a book titled It’s Perfectly Normal that displays sexually explicit cartoon images on it’s pages. The cover of the book states “for ages 10 and up”.

I played the video and at first thought the book was harmless — until I saw the images, as well as a sentence about masturbation that states, “And some religions call masturbation a sin. But masturbating cannot hurt you.” This statement upsets me because of it’s blatant attack on religion. Planned Parenthood couldn’t find a way to give factual information about masturbation without denouncing religion? If this isn’t a political agenda, I don’t know what is.

Many readers know that I’m an active member of the Catholic church. My beliefs regarding sex and abortion are based on my faith, therefore I personally could never use this book as a reference when talking to my son about sex.

Strip away the religion factor and what’s left is a book that is targeting children who may not be mature enough to understand the content.

This book definitely consists of mature, more adult-themed concepts.  I would be extremely upset if this book was used in sexual education classes without parental consent, and even angrier if my son or daughter found this book in the school library. When will Planned Parenthood realize that parents have the right to determine what is best for their minor children?

I understand not all parents are able to discuss sex with their kids. I understand that children will contact others when they have questions they can’t ask their parents. But I feel that these “other persons” have a responsibility to talk to the parents, and let them know what is happening with their children, so they can make the effort to understand and answer their questions.

It’s disgusting to see reports about young girls having abortions without parental consent. It makes me sick that Planned Parenthood will perform an abortion, and not report all cases of statutory rape if they “don’t ask and don’t tell”. Enough is enough. Planned Parenthood has indeed gone too far.

I went to Amazon.com and read some of the book’s reviews by other parents.

JGM wrote:

“I didn’t have to read this book to know that it was far too much for my 11 year old daughter. If you believe that cartoon characters in explicit illustrations including people have missionary sex, oral sex, wearing condoms is appropriate for your age 9-11 year old child, then I would recommend you buy the book. However, if you believe that the subject should be dealt with sensitivity and a bit more seriousness, I would most certainly not recommend this ridiculous book. I returned the book to Amazon.”

V. Christensen wrote:

“This book is well done, but definitely too mature for my eleven year old son. I think it will be a good resource when he starts going through puberty. Not all the views expressed are those of my own, so I will always sit down with my son and go over this book together. There are a lot of graphic illustrations which may be too much for some families. I think it is well put together and can help answer some of those uncomfortable questions kids have. I recommend the book, but it should be accompanied by parental supervision and content awareness.”

QueenBean84 wrote:

“I started reading this book with my 9-year old son. At first I was embarrassed by the pictures and text. My son was perfectly fine! To him, it was just another science book! This books presents sexual information in a way that pre-teens can understand. I feel better knowing that my son got the correct information from me rather than incorrect information from his friends. I could not have done this without this book.”

(I think that if pictures in a book make a parent feel embarrassed, chances are it’s not appropriate to share with children. If I am (as a parent) not comfortable talking about sex to begin with, using a book with explicit information isn’t going to be any better. However, kudos to this mom for getting over her fear.)

But, what Ginger Parker wrote really struck me:

“When I was about 5 as a little girl I was playing at another kid’s house. That other kid was 5 years older and MUCH larger than me. She told me that she wanted to show me something and that it was a secret. I was excited about a “secret” and wanted to see. She led me into her room and closed and locked the door behind her. Her room was cluttered like any kids room and she pulled a book from underneath some small blankets on the floor. It was a book with cartoon pictures inside. They were cartoon drawings of boys and girls similar to the ones in this book. Some of those pictures included vague sexual activities. As a child I was curious about the book and in awe of what it showed. I was too young to understand all the words and I do not remember much of what I did understand. I remember reading the word sex, but that is the only one that I can confirm.

While viewing the book she said “I have an idea. Let’s try these!” and pointed to a man and a woman having sex in missionary position and another photo of a girl having oral sex performed by another man. I told her that I did not want to try those and that they did not make me feel comfortable.

Unfortunately the whole event is something that I remember in great detail to this day (21 years later). I will not go into great detail, but I was forced to perform those actions, among others shown in the book. To this day I can remember the smells and tastes and the physical pain as I was being hit and my hair pulled when not complying and to put me where she wanted me to be. I remember the weight of her body as she forced herself down upon me so hard that I could not get away or even move.

I had not put much thought into the incident in my adult years. I remember it, but did not feel the pain… until I saw this book. It is books like these that portray sex to children in such a way that they want to explore it aggressively for themselves. And if they cannot find cooperative partners they will make one. It could be the neighbor’s boy, it could be their sister, or their cousin. You may say, “No, not my child.”, but I believe that children will do very bad things sometimes because they don’t understand it. In this books case it would be condoned and therefore it might be ok to go farther because the people in the pictures were doing it.”

You can read the full reviews here.

I understand that many people will have different opinions. Below is the video from the American Life League, as well as a copy of the press release.

American Life League releases video report on children’s sex book

WASHINGTON, D.C. · November 19, 2007 / PRNewswire / – “Parents need to know what Planned Parenthood has in store for their children and this report is an excellent starting point,” said Jim Sedlak, vice president of American Life League. “The book ‘It’s Perfectly Normal’ is obscene and offensive to Christians.”

American Life League’s second video report exposes the contents of the book “It’s Perfectly Normal.” Recently, a Washington State Prison rejected a fundraising letter that included censored images from the book for being “sexually explicit” and “obscene.”

American Life League released the report as a part of its continuing effort to educate the public on Planned Parenthood’s activities.

“This video report is just the beginning,” said Sedlak. “We will continue to use this new media to expose the nation’s largest abortion chain and we call on Christians across the nation to join us in putting a stop to tax payer funds for Planned Parenthood.”

For the truth about Planned Parenthood, check out these related links:

Protect Your Children – exposing Planned Parenthood’s war on childhood innocence

Sign our petition to end tax funding for Planned Parenthood

Get the Wednesday STOPP Report

Help us continue with these releases

See the ad information that a Washington State Prison rejected

If you’d like to see what Planned Parenthood has to say about this book, you can find an interview with the author here.

I strongly recommend Logan Levkoff’s book, Third Base Ain’t What It Used to Be, if you’re looking for a resource to use when talking to your children about sex.

For Catholic parents (and those who want a reference book about sex and abstinence), I recommend Sex, Love and You: Making the Right Decision by Thomas and Judith Lickona.

———-

This post is intended to pass on the message that Planned Parenthood has gone too far with the endorsement of the book It’s Perfectly Normal. There are some great services that Planned Parenthood health centers provide, such as high-quality gynecological care, STI/STD testing and treatment, and pregnancy testing, and I believe that women are entitled to these services if they are unable to find them elsewhere.

However, I do not support abortion, distributing birth control pills to minors or the offering of emergency contraception. I understand, and accept, that not all persons reading this post will agree with my beliefs; please consider the nature of your comments before posting.

I’ve been touching on this subject and then altogether avoiding it, back and forth, for months.

I do want another child.  And for awhile, I knew the timing wasn’t right.  There was always something that got in the way of actually getting down to business.  (Like a child who sleeps in his parents’ bed — clever pun, yes?)

I’ve been making excuses for this situation forever.  First, it was my new job (I’ve been working at Avada for seven months now), and then it was all the bills that needed paying, and then I said I wanted to lose a bunch of weight before getting pregnant, and then I said that I wanted to wait until Dawson was potty-trained, and then I realized I’m out of excuses.

So, Doug and I have been unofficially trying.  Also known as the “whatever happens, happens” method, and so far no luck.  I was kind of happy about this because I didn’t want to be pregnant at BlogHer.  But now I’m kind of frustrated that I’m not magically pregnant.

Granted it’s never been easy for me to conceive (it took three years to get pregnant with Dawson).

The other day, I was on the phone with my mother and she made her usual statement that I shouldn’t wait too long to have another baby because then my kids will be too far apart and they won’t bond or they’ll fight constantly or something or other.  I usually tune her out at this point.  (Sorry Mom. I do.  It’s too much stress.)

And finally I got frustrated and said, “Well what the hell am I supposed to do?  Write a letter to my ovaries, demanding they release a viable egg?  Or maybe I should write a letter to Doug’s sperm, including a mapquest map with directions to my freakin’ fallopian tubes?”

To which my sweet, Catholic mother replied, “Nooooooo….you should write a letter to GOD!”

How does she do that?

Pardon me for being blunt, but is Atheism really a religion? 

If an atheist doesn’t believe in God and does not practice a set of beliefs involving devotional and ritual observances than how, exactly, can it be classified as a religion?

And for the record, if an atheist does not believe in God nor believes that Jesus Christ was the son of the same God they do not believe in, than why do they willingly accept the time off they receive for Christmas and Easter? 

Sure, they may not be worshiping in a church or giving silent thanks to the Creator Himself, but why not go to work instead of basking in the luxury of time off because of the religious affiliations of those of us who do in fact practice a faith?

And when Atheists are blaspheming the very God I believe in (and calling it his or her right to do so) than why do they never understand why Christians become upset?  And why are we expected to turn the other cheek and deal with the nasty comments, calling us foolish and naming us “religious fanatics”?

This country called America was founded under God and now all of a sudden it’s not okay to talk about Him.  It’s not okay to say God Bless You or Peace Be With You because the non-believers become offended.

Well, I ask you; if you don’t believe in God, what is there to be offended about?

My faith is important to me.  I live my life according to God’s word the best that I can.  I’m not perfect.  I’m a sinner, as we all are.

But it’s true.  Our children in public schools have no freedom of speech or expression when it comes to God and that is so infuriating. 

I hope you read this with an open mind and truly understand it’s meaning.

Now I sit me down in school,
Where praying is against the rule.
For this great nation under God,
Finds mention of Him very odd.
If Scripture now the class recites,
It violates the Bill of Rights.
And anytime my head I bow,
Becomes a Federal matter now.
Our hair can be purple, orange or green,
That’s no offense; it’s a freedom scene.
The law is specific, the law is precise.
Prayers spoken aloud are a serious vice.
For praying in a public hall,
Might offend someone with no faith at all.
In silence alone we must meditate,
God’s name is prohibited by the state.
We ‘re allowed to cuss and dress like freaks,
And pierce our noses, tongues and cheeks.
They’ve outlawed guns, but FIRST the Bible.
To quote the Good Book makes me liable.
We can elect a pregnant Senior Queen,
And the ‘unwed daddy,’ our Senior King.
It’s “inappropriate” to teach right from wrong,
We’re taught that such “judgments” do not belong.
We can get our condoms and birth controls,
Study witchcraft, vampires and totem poles.
But the Ten Commandments are not allowed,
No word of God must reach this crowd.
It’s scary here I must confess,
When chaos reigns the school’s a mess.
So, Lord, this silent plea I make:
Should I be shot; My soul please take!
Amen!

I’ve been at a Ladies Retreat at my church for the weekend and I loved every second of my time away.

After my brother came home, I took him to my parents’ house as he has no vehicle!  Funny how much he’s “grown”.  He’s not my little brother anymore.  He’s a grown man and it scares me.  Althought, I suppose I’ll always think of him as my little brother and that’s okay.

Dawson spent the night at Nonna and Poppa’s house because I had a lot of work to do at the retreat.

We scrap booked, stamped, did Bible study, scripture reading, facials, massages, and did some gabbing about family, kids, marriage and jobs.  I went to confession and to Mass, so I’m happy to get that out of the way.  The food at our retreat was awesome!  We had a baked potato bar, a soup and salad bar, homemade pasta and lots of cheesecakes!  I enjoyed the wine and cheese tasting portion, too!  I’m really not a wine fan, but some of the ones I tried were delicioso!

I must admit that relaxing with my friends can be exhausting!  I feel like I’ve been going non-stop for 36 hours and I think I have. 

Tomorrow, I’ll be posting at BlogHer!  I didn’t have a chance to get this week’s post up tonight!  Come see me there, later!

Happy Saturday! 

First, my Aunt Kathy sent me the link to this video. Kate Nowak did a stunning job and I cried happy tears watching it. Her blog is wonderful, too, so be sure to check her out!

A few days ago I wrote my “Anniversary Tribute” to Doug as we celebrated five glorious years of marriage on the 13th of October. We didn’t do anything special for the big day. Doug made BBQ Ribs and Shrimp for me Friday night and it was excellent. My gift to him was given on Saturday. No, it’s not what YOU’RE thinking so get your minds out of the bedroom. After work, I came home and Dawson was cranky so I turned on Public Television. Lawrence Welk was on and Dawson loves the music. It’s okay, he’s only two. But during one of Lawrence’s jived up orchestra tunes, I dragged Doug off the couch and made him foxtrot with me. Yes. You read that right. We did the fox trot in our living room and laughed hysterically the entire time. You know that’s love. Seriously, I’m still laughing because our “moves” caused uncontrollable giggling from Dawson, too.

Today we went to church and Dawson was well behaved for 20 minutes. This is a record breaker. Usually he’s a terror two minutes after blessing himself. When I got home I found this in my e-mail. I’m feeling pretty Blessed today. Then I found this.

It’s quiet in the house. Dawson is napping. I’m finishing this post and heading into my bed as well! I’ll leave you with the first commercial that has made me cry since I gave birth to Dawson. This hit me hard because in a few short weeks my brother will be coming home.

Happy Sunday!

I’m a Republican, conservative, Catholic woman from the midwest. I go to church every Sunday. I volunteer my time to teach 8th graders about the bible and what it is to be Catholic every Wednesday evening. I don’t believe in abortion. I don’t support stem cell research. I support the war in Iraq. I don’t condone homosexuality, but I don’t condemn it either (an on the fence issue for me that I grapple with constantly).

I try my best to follow my faith. I believe in God, I practice Catholicism openly, but even I admit I struggle with it daily. Afterall, I’m a sinner like everyone else. I make mistakes and I answer for them.

I don’t understand radical leftist liberals. I get irritated whenever Ted Kennedy opens his mouth. I despise John Kerry. I’m honest about my political views and I don’t back pedal my beliefs when someone opposes my opinions.

But what I don’t understand is that when I give forth a comment about politics or religion (both very important to me), if someone doesn’t agree with me, they stop reading me. They will pretend I don’t exist. I can’t do anything about that. But I would hope that you aren’t solely judging me or reading my blog based on my political and religious beliefs.

I’m a very open-minded person. I listen to other people without bias and try to see other points of view. I try not to attack others intentionally. But yet, I’m not granted the same courtesy.

This puzzles me and also causes me to wonder: In a world as big as ours, surely there must be others who believe what I do. Speak up! Don’t be afraid to stand your ground. Don’t hide. And please don’t conform to the majority. I once did the same and found out it’s not who I am.

I am Dana and my beliefs are just as important as anyone elses. Yes, we will not always agree, we may argue and object to each other, but at the end of the day we go on believing what we know, learning about others and co-existing in this world. That’s all I can ask for.