September 4, 2012

A Day of Firsts

Today was the first day of school for Dawson.  He is a 2nd grade student at Roosevelt Elementary.  This year he was more excited than usual about going back to school.  He anticipated seeing the friends he’s missed so much over the summer.  He was ready to tackle new challenges and learn amazing new things.  He was dressed in a brown t-shirt and orange plaid shorts (which he picked out himself from Old Navy when we did our Back-to-School shopping) and his hair was freshly cut.  True to form, I was running around the house with my camera hanging from my neck, trying to capture it all:

I took the obligatory 1st Day photos by our shrubs and the front door, and of course included little Owen as the tradition requires.  I love this part of every year.

Looking back at the previous year’s photos makes me realize just how quickly my sons are growing up.  They are no longer tiny infants, dependent upon me for their nourishment, both physical and emotional.  They are more independent with each day that passes.  I love, and simultaneously hate, this fact of life.

Dawson and Owen continue to amaze me each and every day.  I wish I could spend every waking moment with them, doing the things we enjoy most – playing board games, taking long walks, writing with chalk on the driveway.  But I know in my heart that I have to let them grow up.  I cannot fight it, no matter how much I may want to.

I think this may be why I decided to return to school.  When Owen was just 13 months old I knew it was time to complete my degree.  Earning the Associates Degree was a big accomplishment for me; one that took many years to finally finish.  After observing my kids’ desire to learn and grow, I knew that I wasn’t satisfied with just the 2-year diploma.

Today was my first day of school, too.  I’m officially a junior in college at Lakeland Univeristy.  I’m excited.  I’m also terrified.  Just as Dawson was nervous about being in a new classroom with a new teacher, I’m freaking out about 12 credits (4 classes) on top of being a wife, mother and working woman.  Not only that, I’m studying like mad to pass my the second of three insurance exams required to earn my Associates in General Insurance.

Have I lost my mind?  I think to myself that I’ve quite possible gone mad.  Who in their right mind would take on such challenges on purpose?

Despite the miniscule crumbs of doubt at the back of my mind, I know I can do this.  I’m doing this for my children. I’m doing this to set a good example; to show them that a college education is important.  I’m doing this for my husband.  I’m determined to achieve this goal.  But most importantly, I’m doing this for me.  I will prove to myself that I am good enough and smart enough and willing to go after what I want.  I will succeed. 

July 29, 2012

Wishing Summer Could Last Forever

Every year I after the 4th of July, I start to realize that summer is half-over.  I know it’s a pessimistic thing to write, as if I’m looking at the glass as half-empty, but it’s true.  We spend six months suffering through December snow, the bitter cold of January and February, followed by slushy and sloppy March and April, to get one month of real “Spring” in May.  The anticipation of Summer is exciting!  And as fast as Summer arrives, Fall and Winter are just around the corner.  I hate that I think like this; I really do.

July was fun.  I got to hang out with friends over the holiday.  I took my boys to various parks and we enjoyed many walks and bike rides around the neighborhood.  Just last weekend we did a mini-vacation, too.  We went to Pulaski Polka Days in Pulaski, WI (an annual tradition in my family) and spent two days dancing and enjoying Polka music.  It was good to see old dancing friends and members of the bands we love, too.

Listening to Polkas and having a fun time!

We went to Bay Beach Amusement Park in Green Bay again, also.  Owen had the best time on the “kiddie” rides.  Dawson spent his time with my brother and sister.  He went on the Tilt-a-Whirl, Scrambler and Scat.  Last year he didn’t mind going on the same rides as Owen, but this year he told me he was too old for that.  The rides Owen liked were for babies.  This made me misty-eyed.

Owen loves the Lady Bug Rides.

“Dawson, you’re only 7 years old,” I had said.

“Um, I’m almost eight!” he told me.  ”Too big for baby rides.”

I realized he was probably right.  I started to pay attention to the kids going on the “baby” rides and noticed the oldest kids on them were probably 5 and 6 years old.

On the Scat ride with Poppa Frank

Later, I went on the rollercoaster with Dawson and my siblings while my parents took Owen on the merry-go-round.  Dawson had a nervous breakdown when the car climbed to the top and soared back down at Mach 10 speed.  He had his eyes closed tightly and held on tight to my arm.

The Zippin’ Pippin Ride at Bay Beach

When it was all over I said, “Wanna go on again?”

“HELL NO!” he said.  I just about died.  This is a phrase his Dad uses and I couldn’t help but giggle.

“I’m never going on the roller coaster again!” Dawson said.

“So you’re not as big as you think you are, huh?” I asked.

“Not so much,” he replied. “Maybe I’ll try it again next year.”

Dawson was pretty brave to go on the roller coaster and I was proud of him for trying something new.

We also went to Build-a-Bear and Chuck E. Cheese in Appleton, followed by a Timber Rattlers game on the last day of our vacation.  We had such a good time.

Getting photographs and autographs from players was their favorite part. Here are Dawson and Owen with their Aunt Becky and pitcher, Stosh Wawrzasek (who is from Burnaby, BC and a Polish Kid, too!)

Today we went shopping for school supplies.  I’m the mother of a soon-to-be second grader!  When did this happen?

I really wish I could freeze time. My kids are growing up too quickly.  If only we didn’t have to get older.  If only summer could last forever.

March 24, 2012

Marching into Spring

I’m just going to roll my eyes and laugh because I’ve done it again.  I swore I would start to blog more regularly and then a month goes by and I realize I haven’t written a new post.  I used to love blogging.  I used to wake up and want to write.  I don’t know know what happened to me.  I mean, yeah, I’m busy.  But who isn’t?  I have spent the morning visiting all the blogs I used to read religiously and I’m sad that I’ve missed so much.  I don’t even know how long it’s been since I stopped reading blogs.  I’ll never catch up with my favorite blogger’s lives.  It could take years.

I have realized that blogging stopped being a priority in my life around the time Owen was born.  Instead of embracing the opportunity to document his milestones I felt an intense need for privacy.  I needed to devote time to living life and being with my children.  Writing publicly about them seemed like a mistake.  I wasn’t a blogger until Dawson was about 3 years old and I never really shared too much about him, either.

Sometimes I regret not sharing my memories, and I want to begin now.  But where do I start?

I could tell you (is there anyone out there?) about how Owen is almost 2 1/2 and he is talking up a storm.  His explosion of speech only started in the last month or so.  He’s been saying a only a handful of words for the last 9 months, but now he’s jabbering all day long.  It’s like watching a toddler talk show.  He tells me about the chippy (chipmunk) that got hit by a car near Grandma’s house.  He talks about playing football with his Guy.  That’s what he calls his big brother.  He refuses to say Dawson’s name.  Instead he’ll say things like, “Where my Guy go?” after Dawson leaves for school.  It’s the cutest thing.

This morning he found the stash of sour gummy worms and Jolly Rancher jelly beans I’ve been hiding until Easter.  He brought the bags to me and said, “Mumma, me have gummy?  Me have gemmy bean?”  I just giggled.  The cute is killing me.   It’s not so cute when he tells me “no” however.  I will ask him to pick up his toys and he just gives me a devilish grin and says, “No!”  I can’t get upset with him, though.  He’s just too cute.

Owen is fascinated with Bob the Builder.  When Dawson was around 3 years old we visited the National Railroad Museum in Green Bay, Wisconsin.  Thomas the Train was there and we bought Dawson a set of Thomas trains and Bob the Builder toys.  Owen is learning all the machines’ names.  I love hearing him say, “Scoop” and “Muck” because he’s so animated when he does.  Dawson pulled all the old Bob DVDs out of the cabinet and every day we watch an episode.  Owen just loves this show.  Just like his Guy.

Dawson is a first grader now.  He’s reading and practicing addition and subtraction.  I can’t get over how much he’s grown.  At 7 years old, his favorite things are Star Wars Legos, watching the Clone Wars cartoon on TV and playing soccer.  He loves playing with the neighbor boys across the street, too.  They are home-schooled, and after Dawson does his homework he runs across the street to ride bikes with them.

As for me, I’m just busy finishing school, studying for my insurance exam and working full time.  We’re working hard to save money so we can start remodeling our bathroom and eventually the kitchen.  We are also trying to plan a family vacation but everyone has different opinions about where we should go and what we should do.  Dawson wants Disney World.  Doug wants to go to Canada.  I’m just happy with getting away from the chaos for a few days.

Welcome to my world.

Crazy. Busy. Fun.

The weather in Wisconsin has been unusually warm.  We never really had much snow and a few weeks ago the temperatures were in the 70s and 80s.  On my birthday (St. Patrick’s Day) it was 76 degrees.  I don’t remember having a birthday in which I could have sunbathed.  I didn’t of course.  I’m not swimsuit ready by any means.  That’s another thing I’m tackling.  I gained a few pounds over the holidays and I haven’t had a chance to get back to the gym.  I definitely need to shed this weight.  Once and for all.

Wah.  I feel like I’m whining and rambling.

Enough about me.  Time to get back to reading your blogs.   I miss you all.

February 10, 2012

February, Already?

Dawson and Owen are sick.  The poor little ones have caught a nasty bug.  Dawson missed school yesterday and today.  He’s been coughing and he can barely talk, I took his temperature and freaked out when it read 103.3 – thank God for children’s ibuprofen.  Owen had a fever of 102.9 and I gave him half a dose just to be safe.

Right now they are curled up on the couch watching something on the Disney channel.  It’s almost 10:30 here.  I feel guilty for letting them stay up this late, but they’ve been sleeping most of the day.  I’m pretty sure their sleep cycles are completely messed up.  I’ll probably pay for that tomorrow.

Doug had the day off and he took care of the boys while I went to work.  I’d almost rather have stayed home.  My day was totally unproductive.  We had a meeting from 10 a.m. to 11:30 and it put a wrench in my day.  I just couldn’t get back on track.  The audits I had to review were missing something; paperwork, questions not fully answered, uncooperative insureds.  I couldn’t wait for the day to end.  I can only hope Monday is better.

I’m worried about the kiddos.  I really hope Dawson starts feeling better quickly.  Sunday afternoon is his Cub Scout troop’s Pinewood Derby.  He and his father have been working on that car for days and Dawson is so proud of the work they did.  I loved seeing them spend time together, working on a project that seemed to be a lot of fun for them both.  They have yet to paint the car but I’m sure they’ll tackle it tomorrow.

I spent most of my night cuddling with Owen who is very clingy when he’s sick.  After awhile I had to have Doug take my place so I could get some of my homework completed.  This semester has been very crazy. Four classes is a lot!  I knew I’d have to focus, but I feel like I’m burning the candle at both ends.  Add in the insurance designation course I’m taking through work — it’s no wonder I’m always tired.

I love school and I’m looking forward to graduating this May, but it really is difficult to study and raise a family and work 40 hours a week.  I don’t know what I was thinking.  I’m no Wonder Woman.

The only thing keeping me going is the light at the end of a dark tunnel.  13 weeks to go until graduation…