So, I logged on to the StevensPointJournal.com and read this local news story and nearly peed my pants laughing.  Perhaps I’ll hang them out my car window later to dry them off.

Pantsless woman arrested

A 29-year-old Plover woman who was talking on a cell phone and driving without pants was arrested for drunken driving following a crash in the town of Port Edwards, according to the Wood County Sheriff’s Department.

Jessica L. Jackson, who was driving her pickup truck east on Highway 54 just before 8:50 a.m. Sunday, had her pants hanging out the window to dry when the vehicle hit the highway shoulder, and Jackson overcorrected, according to the Wood County Sheriff’s Department Accident Report. Jackson crossed the centerline, entered the ditch and rolled the vehicle.

Jackson was transported to Riverview Hospital, where she was treated and released. She was arrested for drunken driving, Wood County Sheriff’s Department Lt. Dave Laude said. The preliminary breath test showed an alcohol concentration of 0.18, more than double the legal limit.

Now, the act of drunk driving itself is not funny.  Not funny at all.  I’ve lost many friends to this kind of tragedy.

But when I read the headline and then the part where her pants were hanging out the window, I could not stop laughing.  I can’t help it.  I just find that part hysterical.

I can’t imagine the look on the cop’s face when discovering a pantsless woman in a car accident.  Maybe because this woman is from Plover (where I live) that made me laugh even harder. 

Only in Wisconsin…seriously.

Frank Caliendo rocks my world.  From his impressions of George Bush to Bill Clinton as well as Leno and Letterman, the guy is TALENT.  No, I didn’t say he has talent.  He is talent.

Every time I see him I think Charles Barkley.  And I call my husband a knucklehead.

“Awww, man!  Tha’s TRBL.”

My friend and I kept making babies with celebrities (ha ha, that sounds so funny) and e-mailing the photos to each other.  Honestly, this little tool is nifty and addicting.  Here’s a few baby pictures for your amusement:

Baby Tuszke (Of course, I had to make a baby with my husband, first!)

Clive Owen, Jr.

My baby with Gabriel Macht looks a little devilish.

Looks just like Blair, don’t you think?

My son with Chris Noth.  Looks nothing like Mr. Big.

Little Aaron Rodgers.

Little Joey-Joe.

Donnie Wahlberg‘s Mini-Me.

I know.  Too much fun.  Now I have to think of cool celebrity baby names.  Any suggestions?  What will your babies look like?

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Speaking of fun, check out what we thought of the video game Littlest Pet Shop (Jungle) for Nintendo DS!

Dawson and I were watching Spongebob this morning, and then Nickelodeon went off the air for three hours as part of their Worldwide Day of Play event.  I told Dawson to help me find Murphy’s leash so we could take him for a walk to the park.

I still laugh every time I watch this:

Doug took Dawson to Grandma’s to give me a little break, but they’ll be home by two o’clock.  Shucks.

I realize I could write a million blog posts today and catch y’all up on what’s down with me, and I’ll do that.  For tomorrow.  Today, I’m enjoying reading blogs and I’m lovin’ some hilarious bloggers today.

The MomBabe over at the Bingham Diaries has me cracking up over her children “riding away” the other day.

I giggled like a maniac over Veronica’s conversation with her brother.

Pensieve discovered one of her children’s rabbits may not be male.

DeeDee had me pee-my-pants laughing at her “daughter’s engagement” and an ear-piercing scare tactic.

And, I loved this post at the Potted Goose.

Go on, read up.  You’ll love ‘em.  I promise.

For some reason I had a craving for almonds, so I pushed my cart to the proper aisle.  I overheard this converstaion by a middle-aged couple:

Husband:  Hon, do you want Planter’s or Fisher’s nuts?

Me:  (snickering under my breath)

Wife:  Umm…I dunno, whatever.

Husband:  Well, you decide.  I don’t care.

Wife:  Just get whatever.

Husband:  Okay….how about honey roasted nuts?

Wife:  Eww.  No.  I hate sweet nuts.

Me:  (trying with all my might not to laugh out loud)

The funniest part is they were so cool and calm, as if they have conversations about nuts every day.  Not a smile was cracked between them.

I can’t stop giggling.

Yeah.  I don’t believe it either.  But it’s true.  I’m starting to think I’m cursed.  After three days of Lysoling (I know that’s not really a verb) every surface in my house and in my office, who’da thunk I’d get another sinus infection-thing?   I am so frustrated and mad, but thankfully my doctor called in a stronger, better prescription to kick this nasty bacteria for good.

In the meantime, please enjoy this video.  Frank Caliendo is so freakin’ talented.  I’m trying to get tickets to one of his shows in Wisconsin.   (You know he’s a Wisconsin native, right?)

I’ve got the complete video and it’s definitely a must see.  Click here for more info.  You can also watch his latest show in Milwaukee.

2. Real tree or artificial?  Artificial.  I love a real tree every few years, but the needles stuck in the carpet drives me crazy and I find it difficult to enjoy that real tree scent.

3. When do you put up the tree?  Typically, the day after Thanksgiving, but this year we were a week and a half late.

4. When do you take the tree down?  New Year’s Day if I’m not hung over.  The weekend after New Year’s if I am.

5. Do you like eggnog?  Not at all.  Yuck.

6. Favorite gift receivedas a child?  The year I got a keyboard piano.  I loved that thing!

7. Do you have a nativity scene?  Yes.  Two of them actually.

8. Hardest person to buy for?  The in-laws.

9. Easiest person to buy for?  My mom.

10. Worst Christmas gift you ever received?  A sweater with jingle bells on it.  The kind that actually jingle!

11. Mail or email Christmas cards?  Mail.

12. Favorite Christmas Movie? It’s a toss up between It’s a Wonderful Life and Miracle on 34th Street.

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas?  I’m definitely a procrastinator.  If I find something halfway through the year for a reasonable price, I’ll buy it and hide it for the intended recipient.  Otherwise I wait until December 1st or later.

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present?  I’ve never re-gifted a Christmas present, but if it’s something nonreturnable, I save it and donate it to our church picnic as a prize for the Cherry Tree game.

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Chocolate covered peanut butter balls.  My aunt makes them every year.

16. Clear lights or colored on the tree? Clear lights on the tree.  Colored lights outside.

17. Favorite Christmas song? I have several favorites, but I find myself singing Jingle Bell Rock every year.

18. Travel at Christmas or stay home?  We usually go to our parents’ houses each year.  No big travel plans.

19. Can you name all of Santa’s reindeers?  Yes, but I have to sing it so that I don’t forget any.

20. Angel on the tree top or a star? We have both, so we rotate every year.

21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or Christmas morning?  We open some on each day because we celebrate with different family members on each day.

22. Most annoying thing about this time of year?  When the neighbors forget to take their Christmas decorations down and they’re still up in February.

And here I am with sallow skin, Simpsonized:

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Not bad…I don’t really look any different!

This is my number one pet peeve.  (Well that, and my husband chewing tobacco.)

It always seems to happen to me.  I’m driving to work, I’m going just over the speed limit because like me, everyone else is rushing to work, too.

And then I get stuck behind the one driver who goes one mile UNDER the speed limit, as if he’s just doodling along on a Sunday drive.  And then he slows down, slower yet, and I get really impatient…..trying not to purposely ram into the slower-than-molasses-idiot….and what does he do? 

He turns left with no signal.  NO SIGNAL!  It DRIVES me MAD!

And I lose it.  I absolutely lose my mind and suffer an instant case of road rage where I yell at the sonuvabitch and give him the middle finger.

I know.  I shouldn’t let my blood pressure rise over something so ridiculous.

But if I were Queen, these morons would have their licenses revoked.

Revoked I doth say!

(Too over the top with the Old English?)