I think this is just a combination of my natural tendency to worry (a lot) and lack of sleep.  I haven’t been in bed before 10 p.m. in many long weeks.  I’m tired of it.  Pun intended.

Okay, and I’m just too busy.  I’m still learning the ins and outs of my new position at work.  Training is an ongoing process.  There is so much to know about the insurance industry.  Even applying my years of insurance experience isn’t enough to breeze through this training.  Also, worker’s compensation insurance is complex.  Each state follows it’s own rules on what is defined as a covered employee and I’m constantly learning all the “tricky situations” and exceptions to the rule.  It’s no wonder I crash on the couch for 10 minutes the second I walk through the front door.  I have to give my brain a break.

Lately I have had zero ambition to do anything other than go to work, get my homework and studying done each night, and try (oh, do I try) to spend quality time with the boys.  My poor kids.  I have slowly realized they are beginning to prefer Daddy over Mommy.  Mommy is always busy.  Mommy is burning the candle at both ends.

I’m learning to let go of some of the Mommy Guilt, however.  Tonight after work I rushed to Dawson’s school to watch him in wrestling practice.  Then he had a Cub Scout meeting at the Lutheran church down the street (we’re Catholic, but all of Dawson’s classmates are in this particular pack and the meetings are within walking distance of our house – it’s like killing two birds with one stone because I squeeze in some much needed exercise).  Our den leader is the mom of Dawson’s best friend and their family attends the same church we do.  It’s nice to have friends I can commiserate with.  It’s a win-win.

This is Dawson’s first year in wrestling.  When the registration form came home from school I asked him what he thought about it.  He said, “Yeah, Mom.  I think I might like to try it.”

I was a little nervous the first night (which was yesterday) because he really had no experience with the sport, but thankfully his coach was a wrestler in high school and college so he had lots of experience.  I think I may have gone to high school with him, actually, as he looks very familiar.  I keep meaning to ask him his name, but I’m get sidetracked and forget.

Tonight, Dawson won a “take down” against a second grader and he was super pumped.  It makes me happy to see him having fun and learning so many different things.  Plus, he likes to be active.  It’s good for him.

Owen is growing like a weed.  I bought him some pants a few weeks ago and I realized tonight they are getting to tight in the legs.  My little guy isn’t so little.  He’s got a strong build and I can definitely picture him as a tackle on the football team.  He loves to do everything Dawson does and this evening they played a mini game of  ”wrestle mania.”  Thank goodness Dawson knows that he has to be gentle with Owen.  But little brother is definitely a brute.  He didn’t hesitate to charge at his big brother and take him down.  Good times.

Overall, things are good.  Crazy chaotic, but I can’t really complain.  Life is….good!

You really must read the post because it’s that good.

Flashback to last summer/fall when I successfully completed the Couch to 5K program and lost 25 pounds — I was feeling fit and healthy and then flippin’ winter threw me off.  I had never run in winter with snow and ice on the roads and was terrified to try it.  Being an amateur runner I didn’t know if I needed special winter running shoes/gear/gadgets so I just stopped running. I attempted to continue running on the treadmill but then I started school and switched jobs and basically got busy and lazy.  Life happens.

Now we’re in the last days of June and I finally got my act together enough to run and lift some weights at the gym.  That is when Owen isn’t crying his head off in Adventure Alley.  This afternoon I dropped the boys off and after changing into my workout attire and hopping on the bike for exactly 7 minutes, the YMCA child care worker hunted me down and told me that Owey Pie had been inconsolable for the last twenty minutes.  Let’s just say I didn’t get my work out today and no exercise makes for a very grouchy mama.  (Grouchy, because I need to shed those 25 pounds that magically reappeared – and the 10 extra that came with them! Ugh.)

So then we hit the grocery store, which is NEVER a good idea when I’m crabby and somewhat hungry.  I spent $112 and barely remember what I bought.  I know that most families spend double that on groceries but, people, I bought HUMMUS.  I don’t even know if I like hummus.  I tried it on a multigrain cracker.  The stuff is bland.  I know chickpeas (or garbanzo beans as some call them) are a pretty bland food, but this was the roasted garlic version and it was not very garlicky.  It didn’t spark my taste buds.  Perhaps I’ll doctor it up with more garlic and a touch of lemon.  Or salt!  Maybe it needs salt?

I’ve been spending more time on Twitter and I realized tonight that I’m shitty blogger.  I’ve missed a lot in between my blogging hiatuses (Is that a word? It looks weird.)  Take for example the fact that I HAD NO CLUE that CityMama had a beautiful baby 3 months ago.  Like, seriously.  I suck.  I clicked on her tweet about these brownies and then went to her blog and saw the most adorable boy with cheekers that remind of me of Owen’s at that age:

Oh, the cheeks.  Hard to believe “the baby” is going to be 2 in October!  When did he grow up into this cute little boy:

So, what was I saying?  Oh yeah, I’m a shitty blogging friend.  Dearest City Mama, I felt so awful for not knowing so I promptly attacked your archives.   Your bundle is just so precious! Congratulations! (I know…three months late.)

Just goes to show I need to revisit my old blog loves….

….

I know.  I’m procrastinating.  That damn Econ book is staring me down.  Here’s hoping I pass this test!

I’ve got cabin fever, too.  The snow is melting, temperatures have risen to the 40s and we are so eager to get outside.  After many long winter months, I long for warmth, sunshine and walks to the park.

And I confess, Bravo TV is so awesome right now.  I’m a Real Housewives fan.  I can’t help it.  Train wrecks.  Can’t. Tear. Myself. Away.  Thank goodness for my DVR.  After Dawson and Owen go to bed I turn on and press play.

Next Wednesday I turn 21.  Err, okay, 31.  I’m going to be 31!  I’m not really big on birthdays now that I’m in my thirties.  I still cringe when I think about it.  Why?  I don’t know.  But I do know turning 40 will kill me!  It’s only 9 years away! Yikes!

I really suck as a blogger these days.  I just don’t have the time to blog like I once did.  I want to blog.  I have posts running through my mind all the time.  Truthfully, I’m feeling the need for privacy, so instead of blogging I write in a journal.  That’s just how I feel.

Share your ideas with me.  What motivates you to blog?

Our holidays were great. Christmas was the highlight of my kids’ lives. The each received too many toys, and over the holiday break I sorted through their old stock and made some donations to Goodwill. No child needs that many toys.

I’ve been trying to gain some control over the house.  Owen keeps me busy.  I’m constantly nursing him, holding him, rocking him, and entertaining him that every other priority has been pushed to the back burner.  I’m happy to spend so much time with my children, because I know they won’t be little forever, but I’m also annoyed by the fact that I’ve only done the minimum in regards to housework.  The kitchen and bathrooms are clean, but my living room is a tornado of toys and games and a certain 5-year-old’s socks.  (He’s learning to put them away, so I can’t be too upset.)

My husband is suffering some knee pain and last month he went to the doctor to have it checked out.  He discovered he has a torn meniscus, and humorously he tells his family and friends it’s a torn hibiscus (as in the tree) which gets a laugh every time, but the poor guy is in a lot of pain and will need surgery very soon.  Since I’m not back to work yet, he’s putting it off until March.  Thankfully his doctor has prescribed pain killers and anti-inflammatory medication to help my husband feel better until he goes under the knife.

Just after Christmas, Owen had his 2-month check-up.  He weighed 14 pounds, 12 ounces and measured 23 inches long.  He’s off the charts for weight and in the 36th percentile for height.  He’s going to be a linebacker.  I just know it. NFL here he comes.

Dawson is growing too quickly.  He loves 4K and he tells me such hilarious stories about school and his bus ride.  There’s a girl on the bus who lives down the street and apparently she is not very nice.  Dawson told me he had to sit next to her one day and she kept pinching me.  I said, “That’s not nice at all.  Did you tell her to stop?”  He replied, “Yeah, I did.  But, man, she’s evil!”  I had to fight back laughter.  Kids say the funniest stuff.

Today we are gearing up to watch the Green Bay Packers take on the Arizona Cardinals (again) in their wild card playoff game.  I’m very excited.  The whole family is dressed in their green and gold.  Go, Pack!

And lastly, you may notice new ads on the right sidebar. If you haven’t heard of The Savvy Source, it is a fantastic network for parents which has launched a separate social media site that you can connect through Facebook.  I love the Savvy Groups and have joined the group for parents of 4-5 year olds.  Also, you can take the Savvy Quiz to see how your child is progressing developmentally.  The Savvy Source is wonderful.  Click the ad to take the quiz or to learn more about connecting with other parents in their online community.

I’m off to make game time foods!  Happy Sunday!

I’ve gotten to some of your blogs already, but about 12 blogs in I realized how overwhelming this can be.  Plus, I’ve had to readjust to my “in real life” and it’s hard.  That, and I have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow so I’m trying to decompress and prepare myself for the big 28-week prenatal check-up.

And then, my husband and son are being rather demanding of my time and attention.  So far, I’ve gone grocery shopping twice this week because apparently I’m still suffering from BlogHer Brain (or Pregnancy Brain) and I’ve forgotten many things on the grocery list.

The house is a mess because NO ONE cleans when I’m gone.  NO ONE.  And that sucks.

Also, I’m still catching up on sleep.  I’m so darn tired.  I’m actually tired of being tired.  IF that’s even possible…

And of course, I had to reset my internal clock and jump back into my work schedule and that right there?  Is what takes up my time.  I read hundreds of blogs a day and reading a few more outside of my work time is proving difficult right now.

But I will get it done.  Hopefully by Saturday.  Oh yes, I will.

Love yous.  (Yes, I said yous.  It’s a Polish thing.)

I don’t know what is wrong with me, but I have no ambition to blog today. Or tomorrow. Or the next few days until BlogHer ’09. I had no ambition to blog yesterday or the day before that either. It’s like I’m so tired, no make that EXHAUSTED. I think the cold I’m still (yes, still) recovering from has wiped me out.

Or maybe it’s just the fact that I’m getting closer to the third trimester and my body has decided that sleep is the only thing that matters these days.  All I know is that I better get a burst of energy before Thursday, or I will be one boring woman in Chicago.

I got my gray covered hair colored today.  My appointment was originally scheduled yesterday but my stylist is not feelng well.  Her schedule for this week was tight, so another awesome stylist at the salon was able to fit me in.  I felt like I was cheating on my person.  Seriously.  I actually got on Facebook to ask her if it was okay for her chair mate to do the honors of making me look beautiful.  She gave me her blessing, and I have to say I look pretty darn good for a swollen pregnant woman.  I’ll post photos soon.  Probably during BlogHer.

Yeah, did I mention I’m going?  I’m sure you’ve read sentences like this several times because, for real, thousands of BlogHers will converge in Chicago.   I picked the wrong time to be pregnant, because HOLY PARTIES… and I can’t even have one cocktail.  Not that I really want one… OK, I admit, a sip of wine sounds really great right now.  Oh well.  I will live.

I really have nothing fun to blog about right now.  My mind is occupied by all the packing and to-dos and other chaos I need to handle before I depart.  Oh, that reminds me.  I need to get my car’s oil changed.  Write that down for me, will ya?

I will leave you with a photo of my son, the computer genius.  Here he is on his mother’s “puter” playing a game on the Playhouse Disney website:

I’m starting to think this child knows more about my laptop than I do.  He left clicks faster than his father, and he figured out how to work the scroll bar all by himself.  He even knows how to use the built-in mouse pad, but prefers the old fashioned kind, just like his mother.

Perhaps I will be back tomorow with more interesting blog material.  Or not.  So sorry I’m tres boring.

Any readers going to the big BlogHer shindig?  Let me know!

But things have become somewhat calmer and I’m back to doing the things I love, in addition to the things I have to do.

• While blog walking, I came across this post at Design Mom, one that she found at Blog con Queso.  The photography is just awesome (Karen of Chookooloonks has talent I envy) and The Bloggess is Beautiful. Yes, with a capital B.  Katherine is an artist with beautiful handwriting.  I LOVE.  I sorta wish she could write beautiful words over my burgeoning belly.  Wouldn’t that be cool?  (I’m a wee bit self-conscious of the pregnant belly, so I don’t think I’d have the courage to say yes, anyway.)
• So after that I clicked over to Dooce and she just had to go and FREAK ME OUT about the Freebirthing thing she watched on Discovery Health or maybe it was TLC?  I don’t know.  But don’t get me started on A Baby Story.  Cannot. Watch. Any. More.  I’m now terrified of labor, delivery, C-sections, episiotomy and crapping on the table.  You’d think I’d never given birth before.
• I read Catherine’s post and started to cry.  I cannot imagine what her sister is going through.  Tanner’s story touches me and breaks my heart and makes me wonder why certain things happen in this life.  But the photos of Wonder Girl make me smile.
• Y is going through a transformation.  When I read her post I felt so happy for her and I remember exactly how I felt when I was losing weight and gaining self-confidence.  Go read this one.  Cheer her on!
• This right here? Like reading a page out of my own book.

Go forth and enjoy!

Now that I’m a mother I recognize the importance of creating happy memories with my son.  Dawson is a foodie just like his father (who loves to cook and does most of the meal making in our house), and not a day goes by that he isn’t asking me what’s to eat.

The Motherhood is working in collaboration with Rice Krispies® in asking moms to share some special moments that revolve around the kitchen or meal time. (Full Disclosure:  I do not work for Rice Krispies or The Motherhood, but was thrilled to participate since my family spends a lot of time in the kitchen.  We do love our mealtimes.)

I was asked a few questions about my family’s special moments and here are my answers:

1) What is the most insane creation to come out of your kitchen when you and the kids were trying something new?

Peanut Butter Cupcakes.  It was quite by accident.  Dawson saw a cake mix I had in the pantry and asked if he could make cupcakes.  I let him crack the eggs into the bowl and we took turns mixing the batter.  Dawson lined the cupcake pan with paper liners and together we poured the batter into the liners.  It wasn’t until the cupcakes were done baking that I discovered we didn’t have cake frosting.  “I have a good idea, Mumma!”  Dawson said.  “We could use peanut butter for the ‘fwosting’!”  So, we frosted our cupcakes with peanut butter.  They weren’t half-bad, but each cupcake required a full glass of milk to eat!

2) Do you have any favorite traditions that the kids look forward to doing in the kitchen with you?

Dawson loves to help me get the ingredients out of the cupboards or refrigerator when we make a recipe.  It’s so cute to see him leaning into the fridge for the carton of eggs as he carries it carefully to the counter.

3) What was the first “meal” you taught your kids to fix?

Since my son is only 4 years old, he really doesn’t understand how to make a meal, but he likes to make crackers and cheese and insists on pouring his own bowl of cereal.  He’s not ready to pour milk by himself just yet.

4) Any kitchen disasters with your kids?

No real disasters yet, thank goodness, but we have had a few egg casualties.  But that’s the fun part!  Dawson loves wiping up cracked egg off the floor, and laughs the entire time!  Who knew eggs could be so funny?

5) Do you have a nightly ritual with your family when it comes to meal time? If so, will you share it?

Our nightly ritual is to have dinner at the table.  I find that Dawson is more inclined to finish his plate because he sees his parents eating, too.  The family togetherness is a bonus.  If there’s ever a night we can’t eat together we definitely know it because it feels like something is missing.

———-

I’d love to know how you and your kids spend time in the kitchen.  Feel free to answer the question below via the comments section.

What do you do in the kitchen or around meals with your kids that you’d like to share?

You can answer the above question OR the following “fast five” in the comments to be one of two randomly selected prize winners and your idea could become part of a new Rice Krispies campaign!

1) What is the most insane creation to come out of your kitchen when you and the kids were trying something new?
2) Do you have any favorite traditions that the kids look forward to doing in the kitchen with you?
3) What was the first “meal” you taught your kids to fix?
4) Any kitchen disasters with your kids?
5) Do you have a nightly ritual with your family when it comes to meal time? If so, will you share it?

Links to photos of you and your kids in the kitchen are welcome, too.  I can’t wait to read the ideas you’ve shared!

I could give you the stock excuses, busy, tired, working, cleaning, busy, blah, blah blah.  But, the truth is I haven’t got much to say.

Well, that’s not entirely true.

I have tons of blog posts in the works, but never enough time to actually finish writing them.

It’s not just the fact that I’m busy, it’s the lack of motivation.  I almost feel like I’m over blogging.  Now, before you get worried, I’m not going to stop blogging.  I love to write.  I just don’t feel empowered to put my thoughts down.

Maybe it’s because of the surge of local readers that have been visiting.  I have this urgent need for privacy lately, and rather than vomit words on a page, I’d rather write in my journal where my thoughts are safe from nosy people who simply visit this site to keep tabs on me.  Y’all know who you are.

If I didn’t have a stat counter things might be different.  But every time I check that counter, I see all the people reading from my home town and I freak out.  These people rarely comment and I just don’t feel comfortable sharing my innermost thoughts with them.

I know that’s insane.  I’m a blogger.  It’s my job to write about my life and the things that are most important to me.  But lately I feel like there’s no dialogue going on here.  It’s just me using words, weaving sentences and sharing my thoughts.

I’m sure I’ll snap out of this funk sooner or later.  I’ll return to regular blogging soon.  Right now I just need to re-evaluate this blog’s direction.  My priorities need to be realigned.

So that’s where I am right now…

There’s just not much else to say.