I assumed I was just having an allergy attack and dragged myself to the grocery store on my lunch hour. I picked up some Allegra (using a $2 off coupon – YAY!) and thought this would at least make me feel better. It’s 10:30 and I feel like death.

Now I’m wondering if it’s a cold. But here’s the thing, everyone in this house suffers allergies and we’re all “sick” so maybe it’s just a bad attack.

End Whine.

I’ve been so busy since the first days of school. My semester began August 22nd, and Dawson’s first day was September 1st. He was so excited to go back and see his friends. He even has a real smile on his face:

His first grade teacher just so happens to be Mrs. S and all of my siblings as well as myself had her as a teacher. Mrs. S is retiring after this year so I feel super lucky we get to work with her. She is so kind and caring and loves her job so much. She’s been teaching almost 40 years. Isn’t that amazing? So many teachers are leaving the profession for various reasons so I feel it’s wonderful that she has been teaching and loving it for so long.

Owen truly misses Dawson during the day. When I dropped him off at daycare yesterday morning he looked around the room wondering where his big brother was. I reminded him that Dawson was at school but Owen still stuck his bottom lip out and that pout was adorable and sad all at once. I love that my boys love each other so much:

I can’t believe how much they’ve grown. Just yesterday they were my babies and I rocked them in my arms. I still try to hold them on my lap when we read each night but they’re limbs are stretched out over half my body. They are not babies anymore. They are big boys. Time sure goes by quickly.

Flashback to last summer/fall when I successfully completed the Couch to 5K program and lost 25 pounds — I was feeling fit and healthy and then flippin’ winter threw me off.  I had never run in winter with snow and ice on the roads and was terrified to try it.  Being an amateur runner I didn’t know if I needed special winter running shoes/gear/gadgets so I just stopped running. I attempted to continue running on the treadmill but then I started school and switched jobs and basically got busy and lazy.  Life happens.

Now we’re in the last days of June and I finally got my act together enough to run and lift some weights at the gym.  That is when Owen isn’t crying his head off in Adventure Alley.  This afternoon I dropped the boys off and after changing into my workout attire and hopping on the bike for exactly 7 minutes, the YMCA child care worker hunted me down and told me that Owey Pie had been inconsolable for the last twenty minutes.  Let’s just say I didn’t get my work out today and no exercise makes for a very grouchy mama.  (Grouchy, because I need to shed those 25 pounds that magically reappeared – and the 10 extra that came with them! Ugh.)

So then we hit the grocery store, which is NEVER a good idea when I’m crabby and somewhat hungry.  I spent $112 and barely remember what I bought.  I know that most families spend double that on groceries but, people, I bought HUMMUS.  I don’t even know if I like hummus.  I tried it on a multigrain cracker.  The stuff is bland.  I know chickpeas (or garbanzo beans as some call them) are a pretty bland food, but this was the roasted garlic version and it was not very garlicky.  It didn’t spark my taste buds.  Perhaps I’ll doctor it up with more garlic and a touch of lemon.  Or salt!  Maybe it needs salt?

I’ve been spending more time on Twitter and I realized tonight that I’m shitty blogger.  I’ve missed a lot in between my blogging hiatuses (Is that a word? It looks weird.)  Take for example the fact that I HAD NO CLUE that CityMama had a beautiful baby 3 months ago.  Like, seriously.  I suck.  I clicked on her tweet about these brownies and then went to her blog and saw the most adorable boy with cheekers that remind of me of Owen’s at that age:

Oh, the cheeks.  Hard to believe “the baby” is going to be 2 in October!  When did he grow up into this cute little boy:

So, what was I saying?  Oh yeah, I’m a shitty blogging friend.  Dearest City Mama, I felt so awful for not knowing so I promptly attacked your archives.   Your bundle is just so precious! Congratulations! (I know…three months late.)

Just goes to show I need to revisit my old blog loves….

….

I know.  I’m procrastinating.  That damn Econ book is staring me down.  Here’s hoping I pass this test!

Here’s some recent photo goodness:

They are growing right before my eyes and every day is special.  It’s so difficult to watch them grow up and become their own personalities.  As much as I love them and understand that this is part of life, in these moments I truly understand what it must have been like for my own mother to “let go” of her four children.

Dawson will be 7 years old in just a few months.  SEVEN.  It seems like yesterday that I was holding him in my arms and rocking him to sleep.  His life is no longer an off-shoot of mine.  He has his own life, separate from me.  He has experiences at school that I know nothing about.  When he gets home he tells me about his friends, what he’s learned, the emotions he feels when things happen during his day.  He is making his own memories and some day this little boy will be a man.  How do I get over the immensity of this fact of life that is staring me in the face every day?  Oh how I wish I cold slow down time.

Owen is almost two years old and I’m now realizing that everything I’ve experienced with Dawson is coming down the pipe with my youngest child.  My baby wants to be like his big brother so much, and it seems like he’s growing up twice as fast as Dawson is.  I don’t know how this is possible.  Owen is so full of energy and is always smiling.  When I look at his face I see how much he loves life.  I see how much he loves Dawson.  He is ready to conquer the world.

I can help but shed some tears.  I’m sad these little birds have to leave the nest some day, but I’m so lucky to be their mother and to watch them take flight right before my eyes.

When I’m Queen of My Own Life, I will rule that I be given two straight hours each day to read.  Considering I have a stack of books on my end table that I’d love to read, and magazines piling up in every corner of every room, I’ll probably need a full work day each week to catch up.  My husband will just have to deal with the diaper changing, the picking up of the toys, the constant yelling and craziness.

I just got the new issue of New York Magazine and haven’t had the chance to read about The Social Network, which is on the cover.  I’m not sure I want to watch this movie.  Anyone see it yet?  I love me some Facebook (hello, I’m on it every damn day), but do I really care about Mark Zuckerberg or whatever his name is?

It’s weird that Hollywood is making movies about social media.  I can’t wait for them to make a movie about Twitter.

Okay.  These kids of mine are whining.  The only think I’m queen of is chaos.  So much for blogging.

I had a long day at work and when 5 o’clock hit I was eager to get out of the office.  Things are busy for our family during the summer months.  Dawson begs for long days at the beach and Owen just loves riding in the stroller on long walks.  I’m just happy to spend time with my boys as they are growing so fast.

Dawson had T-ball right at 5 p.m. and thankfully my parents picked up the boys from daycare and I met them on the field for the game.  Dawson had one fabulous hit at bat.  He also played first base and caught a ball that was thrown to him.  He was super excited.

After the game I took the boys to a concert at a local park.  Tom Pease was playing at the band shell and what looked like hundreds of kids were eager to sing and dance to their favorite folk tunes.  Tom is a wonderful entertainer.  He sings, he has actions for his dances, he makes the most outrageous noises, and he can make up lyrics for a song in minutes.  (And here’s a secret: he’s been performing since I was in elementary school.  I still remember a concert he gave at Roosevelt School when I was in 3rd grade.  You do the math!)

Owen was mesmerized by the music.  The last Tom Pease concert we went to when he was just a few weeks old.  This time he was able to dance, and it was so cute.  I hope you enjoy the video.

Infantino sent three products for us to try: the Twist & Fold Activity Gym, the Fold & Go Bouncer, and the Jumbo Wheel Play Space.  When the box arrived I was very excited to rip it open and see what was inside.  My first impression was very positive.  These products are bright and colorful without being too busy and over-stimulating.  I love the jungle themed activity mat with the lion, monkey and elephant hanging down from the crossbars.  Owen loves the activity gym as evidenced here:

Infantino Fold & Go Activity Gym

The Jumbo Wheel Play Space is so much fun!  There are so many things that grab his attention, from the rings to the squeaker in the elephant’s hat, to the crinkly ears on the elephant and monkey.  Check out this happy baby:

He is fascinated with mirrors and both these toys include them in the fun. My little loves to look at “the baby” in the mirror. It’s even more fun when he catches a glimpse of Mommy, Daddy or Big Brother Dawson in it, too. We took this wheel mat to the park with us and five other moms commented on how big the play space is and how much they love the colors.

Lastly, we received the bouncer. Owen is just growing too quickly; the chunky monkey barely fits in the seat, but he still loves the toy bar and the vibrating chair:

I love that this bouncer can go anywhere! It folds flat and fits nicely in the trunk (along with the stroller and diaper bag and every other baby item imaginable!). It has soothing vibrations, and by pressing a button you get a heartbeat and 2 nature sounds as well as three different melodies and volume control. This bouncer is full of options for being so compact!

My best friend recently gave birth to her first child and I’ve recommended Infantino products to her because I truly believe that Infantino puts a lot of thought into their products. Not only do they care about our precious babies, but they come up with unique designs and features that appeal to us picky parents, too. Kudos to you, Infantino!

For more information about these products click the links above or visit www.infantino.com.

Writing was my passion, once.  That flame has long been put out.  Perhaps it happened when I stopped working online.  Maybe I just don’t feel motivated.  I don’t know.  I do know that when I think about quitting I get very sad, because this blog was my place for so long.

I suppose I just need to go with the feeling and see what happens.  I shall rethink this later.

Tonight I went out to dinner with my bestest (as Dawson would say) friend ever.  Miss ‘Manda and I had fajitas (okay, she had fish tacos, I had fajitas) at El Mezcal, our favorite little Mexican restaurant.  Amanda is expecting her first child in July and we discussed baby names and baby registries and breastfeeding and every other baby related topic one can think of.

My friend has not had much experience with children and she had lots of questions about cribs and changing tables and if childbirth really is as painful as they say.  I’m no expert but I did try to fill her in on the good as well as the not so good.  I gave her as much honest information as I could without scaring the pants off her.  Then a light bulb went off!  Since I know so many awesome parent bloggers I decided to ask you for your help.

Share your parenting advice with Amanda in the comments.  What is one thing you think she really needs to know?

Since my younger sister and brother still live at home with my parents, they often answer the telephone.  One of them looked at the Caller ID, saw my phone number and gave the phone to Dawson who was staying with my parents for the weekend.

The phone rang once and I heard my sister say, “Dawson, it’s for you.”  She passed the cordless to him.

“Hello?”  Dawson said.

“Hi Dawson, it’s Mom.  Can I talk to Grandma, please?” I asked.

My little boy, funny child that he is, yelled at his aunt, “It’s not for me! It’s for Grandma, you twit!”

I laughed and laughed until my mother got on the phone, and she was laughing, too.  The two of us were in tears over the situation.

“Where did he learn the word ‘twit’?” I asked.

“Probably from Auntie Rachel!” Mom howled.

My mother then told me that she was talking to my brother earlier in the day, and Frankie was giving her a hard time about his curfew.  She told him if he didn’t like the rules he was more than welcome to move out and pay rent.

“I told Frankie he had no room to talk when he’s living here rent-free, and Dawson said, ‘Grandma, he has a room!’” she said, laughing.

After the laughter subsided, I asked my mom what to do about the fever and she suggested infant Tylenol and a cold washcloth on his forehead to keep him from overheating.  I had already given him a dose of the infant medicine but had not considered the washcloth.  She told me to try that and to call the weekend care phone number at the clinic.

The nurse suggested the same things my mother had, and it’s nice to know that I can still rely on my mom, even when I’m in panic mode.  It’s been a long time since Dawson has had a fever, so I’m not surprised I had forgotten all the remedies.

Thankfully, Owen’s fever dropped down to 100.5 two hours later and he was feeling much better.  Good thing Dawson had his comedy down, I needed the laughter through the tears!

It’s no surprise really, the child eats constantly.  I’m practically glued to the glider, nursing non-stop, save for the 3-5 hours he sleeps at night.  Last night he slept five hours straight and I woke up with softballs for breasts, they were so hard from engorgement.  Which make me laugh.  Softballs.  Right.  Too much information, I know.  I apologize.  Just tellin’ it like it is.

I shouldn’t complain.  Depsite the little virus, Owen is eating like a champ and growing like a weed.  I’ve been on edge the last five days because he sleeps erratically and wakes easily.  His big brother is the culprit.  I’m constantly telling Dawson to stop running! jumping! yelling! making so much noise!  It’s hard for Dawson to understand that he can’t be as loud and wild as he was before.  We’re working on teaching him to tone down his exuberance.  Just until Owen is ready to sleep somewhere other than in my arms or next to me or attached to me or in the sling.  This baby does not sleep well in his bassinet or crib.  He loves to be held.  LOVES.

If I put Owen down for longer than a minute he squawks then cries and wimpers and CRIES.  This morning he was unhappy that it took so long for me to use the bathroom.  When I came back to the room, Dawson was singing the alphabet to Owen, trying to calm him down.  He turned to me and said, “This baby is out of it’s mind.”  I just about died laughing.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“He does not want to stop crying.  He’s out of his mind!” Dawson said.

It still makes me giggle to think about it.

I think we’re all out of our minds.  Just a little bit.

Right now he is peacefully sleeping in his vibrating chair.  I’m not about to move him.  I wanted to take a nap myself, but Dawson just got home from school and I must keep one eye open to his needs and make sure he doesn’t wake the baby.  It’s exhausting, really it is.

I’m so sleep deprived these days that little things make me ornery and frustrated.  This morning I snapped at Dawson because he still hadn’t picked up the toys he played with the night before, after I asked him multiple times.

Then I snapped at Doug for asking me for some paperwork he needed to add Owen to our insurance plan.  I was nursing Owen at the time and had to get up and find whatever it is he needed.  I didn’t understand why he couldn’t find the stuff himself.

I even yelled at Murphy for barking too loudly and too often.  And when the phone rang I nearly lost it right then.  So many noises! No wonder Owen doesn’t nap during the day.

Because I’m preoccupied with all things baby and child, I haven’t even had time to contemplate Thanksgiving.  Thankfully my wonderful husband, the one I yelled at, has taken over.  He’s making baby back ribs and shrimp for Thanksgiving.  Because we forgot to thaw the turkey in time.  We’ll be having the bird on Saturday.  I’m so lucky my husband cooks.  I don’t know how I’d manage it with a baby attached to my breast 15 times a day.

We might visit my parents and Doug’s parents sometime during our days off, but with the weather turning colder and rainier, and with Owen recently coming down with the stomach flu I’m thinking it’s wise to stay home until all is well.

I’m really hoping I’ll get some free time to spend with Dawson.  After yelling at him this morning I’m feeling guilty and I realize I haven’t been available to him like I once was.  I know that taking care of Owen is a legitimate excuse, but I still need to let Dawson know I love him just as much as always.

Mothering two children isn’t as easy as I hoped it would be, but I’m sure it will get better and less complicated as Owen gets older. I can’t imagine how I’d manage if I had more than two kids.