April 13, 2010
Motherhood 2.0
In the last few days I’ve realized there is a difference between first-time motherhood and parenting a second child: I am so much calmer this time around.
When Dawson was born I was a nervous new mom. I never felt confident that I was “doing things right.” I questioned every decision I made and worried about ridiculous things. The funny thing is that everyone told me to just relax and trust my instincts, and this advice infuriated me, because I truly didn’t know if I had maternal instincts.
Sure, I have younger siblings and I spent many of my teen years babysitting, but it’s completely different when you have your own kids. A baby’s needs and his survival are completely dependent upon you, at least until they learn how to walk, feed themselves, and wipe their own butts.
As soon as Dawson learned to roll over and eventually crawl, I became obsessed with childproofing and making sure nothing harmful would come in contact with him. I sanitized toys. If he dropped a spoon or fork I’d immediately wash it off or get him a new one. I went through baby wipes faster than anyone I know.
It’s different with Owen. I’m not saying I’m an expert, but I feel more confident in my parenting this time around. I know it’s okay for him to fuss for a few minutes while I use the restroom (he LOVES to be held). If his favorite toy falls on the living room floor I hand it back to him (unless it’s truly dirty of course).
My mom came over yesterday and commented on how good-natured Owen is. She was amazed at how calm and happy he is. ”He’s such a good baby,” she said. ”He doesn’t cry about anything.”
I wanted to tell her to come over just before bedtime when he’s super fussy as he tries to fall asleep. But I realized she’s right. He is a much calmer baby. I don’t want to compare my children because I know they are two amazing individuals. I do want to point out that Dawson was a little more high strung and I think it’s because he could sense my anxiety. Maybe Owen is content because I’m more relaxed and confident.
It seems as though firstborn children are the guinea pigs. It’s almost unfair, yet truly, we learn to become parents with them. They train us. Dawson made me a mother. The lessons he has taught me have made me the caring and attentive parent that I am today. Sometimes I feel like I’ve made mistakes with him that I won’t make with Owen. My experiences with Dawson are like a check list. Okay, I did this and that happened, and I won’t be handling things like that again. I often wonder if Owen has an advantage in being second-born. I have a better grasp on childrearing this go-round, and he reaps the benefits.
I know that’s crazy, because all that matters is I have two wonderful boys, each with their own awesome personalities. Dawson is well-rounded and kind. He has a fantastic sense of humor. His smile lights up a room. Owen is my little ham. He giggles at his big brother’s antics. He is fascinated with Murphy, our dog, and watches him with such intense concentration.
Yes, there truly are differences in raising one child versus two children, but one thing is the same: both my babies love to cuddle with their mama. Maybe I’m doing this parenting thing right after all.
Posted by Dana @ 10:28 PM • Baby Jaws,Confessions,Kids These Days,Parenting Skills,The Doodlebug,The Mommy Files
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April 14th, 2010 at 2:58 PM, Kristin @ Ellie-Town Says:
I totally agree! My second daughter is the same way, much more easy going and laid back. I kind of wonder if it’s because we just drag her all over the place though. Mommy guilt at its best!
.-= Kristin @ Ellie-Town´s last blog ..Gone Fishin’ =-.
April 19th, 2010 at 6:35 AM, Hear Mum Roar Says:
I think it can have that affect on some people:) I found my second child was more highly strung, lol. So I guess there’s the exception to every rule
.-= Hear Mum Roar´s last blog ..Laying good foundations for pre-teen girls =-.