February 28, 2010

Settling for Silver

We are depressed here in my hometown of Plover, Wisconsin.  Team USA’s hockey team lost the gold medal to Canada.  It sucks.  Big time.  Here in Plover it was more than just watching a hockey game.  Joe Pavelski, Plover native and former SPASH (my alma mater) hockey team member, was on the US team.

Joe is a San Jose Shark who was chosen earlier this year to play in Vancouver for the 2010 USA Hockey Olympic team.  Our city was immersed in hockey, hockey, hockey for the last few weeks.  You can imagine the sadness we are feeling right now.  The boys played well and a silver medal is still pretty darned awesome.

It’s pretty solemn over here.  Team USA, you did well…

When Daddy’s Away…

My husband left Friday after work to go on an ice fishing trip with my father, my brother and their friend Rick.  The four of them play darts for a bar league every Wednesday and they decided to spend some of their winnings on this weekend event in Northern Wisconsin.

Two-point-five days alone with two children and no help has been……challenging.

Now, I must confess that I was A-OK with this trip when he first told me about it, back in October when I was still pregnant.  I didn’t foresee any problems.  Now I want to call him and demand that he returns home immediately.

Friday night was tough.  I had to entertain Owen while trying to cook a meal.  Dawson was chasing Murphy all over the house and I was having a panic attack every time he came into the kitchen.  I was boiling water for the fettuccine alfredo and I thought for sure Dawson would get hurt.

It was chaos for a few moments and then I had a moment of clarity.  I dragged the baby swing into the kitchen, turned on Michael Buble, gave Dawson some wooden spoons and told him to play “drums” on the cabinet to keep Owen happy. Then I danced around the kitchen while waiting for the fettuccine noodles to be done.

I was so happy when the kids fell sleep at 9:00 on the dot.  Relief.

Saturday morning I decided it was time for a visit to Grandma’s house.  We went over right after soccer.  My mom hadn’t seen Owen in almost a week and I knew my hands would be free for a few hours with her holding and loving him.  Dawson played with some of the toys Grandma keeps at her house and my sister and I watched bad television for a little while.

When we got home I fed my munchkins and then we made a nest of blankets and pillows on the living room floor.  Owen nursed non-stop (4-month growth spurt I think) and Dawson made a bank out of Legos and simulated a heist.  He kept shouting, “Gimme all the money!” and I asked him what he was going to do with it.  He replied, “I’m gonna go buy 80 million transformers!”

I told him he better not ever rob a bank for real and he said, “Mom, this is just pretend.  I don’t think they got transformers in jail!”  He’s a little obsessed with the Transformers movie and toys these days.  Last month it was Star Wars.  I know more about the Trilogy than I ever thought I would.

After Owen went to sleep we watched some Spongebob and then crashed in my bed.  I hadn’t cuddled with Dawson in so long; it was nice to get some time with him.  Amidst the craziness I had some wonderful moments with my boys.  I still can’t wait for my husband to get home!  I need the extra hands!

February 27, 2010

Photo Planning

Poor little Dawson caught his brother’s cold earlier in the week.  Now I have two coughing kids, although Owen is feeling much better than before, and Dawson is sounding better, too.  He missed school Tuesday and Wednesday.  I realize this is probably why we all went stir crazy these last few days.

Stuck at home with two munchkins is no fun during the winter.  I want to break out the stroller and take the boys for a walk.  Murphy, too.  Poor dog is sick of freezing his paws in the snow.  Dawson is longing for Spring because he just wants to ride his bike!

Instead of yearning for warmer days, we spend our time indoors.  I’ve been taking pictures of everyday things.  I’m in a new phase photographically speaking.  I want to document every day life.  Even the mundane.  I missed beginning the Project 365 for this year.

I’m revamping the plan.  Starting March 17th, I’m going to document my 32nd year (I’m turning 31 this year, so I guess I’m going into my 32nd year of life, right?) as well as my kids’ lives.  We’ll see how it goes.  I’m very excited.

In the meantime, here are some photos taken recently.  Enjoy!

February 26, 2010

He’s a Rebel

I think that Dawson is testing me.  He wants to exert control over his life, at the ripe age of 5, and perhaps he’s just dipping his toes into the waters of rebelliousness, to see what he can get away with.

Every day is difficult.  He does not want to listen to anything I have to say.  Asking him to pick up his toys when he’s finished playing with them causes him to emit a scream that sounds like someone is dying.  I’m certain the whole block can hear this wrenching noise.  One day, very soon, cops will be called to the scene of whatever murder the neighborhood thinks is taking place.

This morning he refused to put on his shoes.  I told him repeatedly that time’s a waistin’ and that the bus would be pulling into the driveway at any moment.  My son told me, “THE BUS IS NOT HERE YET! I DON’T NEED TO PUT MY SHOES ON!”

When I saw the bus coming down the street and no shoes on the boy’s feet I yelled, “THE BUS IS HERE! WHERE ARE YOUR SHOES?”

And my child started to freak out, running around, looking for his shoes.  I had to help him put them on because at that moment he was so frantic he didn’t know where his feet were.

I told him to run quickly to the bus and when I saw him walking solemnly, slowly, I felt a pang of frustration in my chest.  The child will give me a heart attack one day.  I just know it.

Things have been less than great here for a few months.  Right after Owen was born, Dawson seemed to adjust well to having a baby brother.  He loves Owen so much and he can’t stop hugging and kissing him.  But I notice that when I’m nursing the baby or changing his diaper, Dawson begins to act up.  I’m well aware this is a play for my attention and I try to respond lovingly, but I can only handle so much insanity before I crack.

I want to give my boys equal attention, but I have an infant who depends solely on me, and a 5-year-old who just wants me to acknowledge what he’s saying and doing, and I don’t know how to balance it all.

It doesn’t help matters that Doug is working many hours to keep our financial boat afloat.  With me not working money has become very tight.  We are now uber frugal and I carry most of the stress of balancing the budget and making sure our needs our met.  It’s difficult to be alone with two cranky kids for many long hours with no break.

(On the job front:  I’ve sent a few resumes out and made several follow-up calls only to find out these companies are still involved in the hiring process.  I’m praying for an interview.  I’m lucky to have had this time home with Owen, but I don’t believe I was meant to be a SAHM forever.  It’s time to go back to work, not only for financial sake but for my sanity’s sake as well. I love my children so much and I’m happy to be with them for now.  And perhaps winter is making us all crazy.)

I think Dawson needs more time to play with friends, too.  He’s cooped up with me and Owen and has so much energy (he’s resorted to burning it by chasing the dog, which drives me nuts).  Thankfully, soccer clinic starts tomorrow.  He’ll see his old pals and have some fun.  Let’s just hope I don’t have to beg him to put on his shoes!