August 9, 2009

OUCH!

I just have to tell you that I’m sitting on the sofa with my laptop, trying to get some work done, and I felt the baby kick me, and then maneuver his body in such a way that it hurt.  It hurt so much that tears welled up in my eyes.  And now, I’m wondering if perhaps this baby is much bigger than the doctors are aware, because oh my hell, that was painful.

I’ll be 30 weeks pregnant this week.  Just finished reading Deliver This! for the second time.  Now I’ve started reading Your Best Birth, and folks, I love this book.  LOVE…

Stay tuned for better content ahead.  It’s finally summer ’round these parts (today was in the high 80s) and humid and sticky and I have two fans blowing on me because we don’t have air conditioning in this house.  Summer had been very good to me, with temps in the high 60s to mid 70s and no humidity.  Then I had to go an open my big mouth and say something like, “This weather sucks.  Where is summer?”  And then mother nature laughed her head off and said, “I’ll show her…that ungrateful wench.”  Indeed, she has.

I think I’m melting…

August 7, 2009

Just Letting You Know I’m Still Alive

I woke up this morning in a panicked state.  I haven’t blogged in a week, I thought, only to log in to WordPress and realize it’s only been three days.

I know I’m slacking in the blogging department, and I wish I had a valid excuse.  Not that pregnancy isn’t a good enough reason, it’s just that I’m sick of using it as my scapegoat.  Even though I’m in my third trimester and I am dealing with some late pregnancy ailments, things are really going well, better than I expected.

Perhaps I’m comparing this pregnancy with my first pregnancy and the torture I endured to bring Dawson into the world.  (No, I’m not talking about the pain, I’m talking about the way he was born and how it still affects me.  But, I’m not going there again. I promise.)

Thus far, I’ve been home with Dawson, all day, every day for almost a week.  He no longer goes to daycare.  We decided that since he will be going to school (4-year-old kindergarten) in less than a month that it would be good to spend some time with him before he’s gone three hours each day (five days a week!) and before another little person joins our family.

As mother to my son, one that is growing right before my eyes, I realize I’m not very knowledgable on all things boy.  He is no longer enthralled by Dora and Diego.  Instead he prefers the big boy cartoons on the Toon channel, such as Transformers.  Because that one is on at 5:30 in the morning, and no one in my house comes alive before 7 a.m. (okay, Doug is the exception because he works really early), I’ve been recording it on the DVR and we watch it at more reasonable hour.  Like 9 a.m.

I’ve learned that my son will probably be the next Tony Little or Jared the Subway Guy.  We go for a walk around the block each day, and Dawson loves to speed walk.  He’ll be several paces ahead of me, and then he’ll stop, turn around and say, “Come on!  Get your heartbeat up! You can do it, Mom!”

Yesterday we had salad and watermelon for lunch.  Dawson scarfed down his plate and then told me he had to do push-ups and crunches so that he could burn off the calories (which he calls “caa-war-ees”).  I asked him where on Earth he learned this stuff, and he told me he saw it on TV.  I later learned it was a commercial for Nutri-System.  It was quite hilarious.

I managed to take a trip to Target last weekend and buy all of Dawson’s school supplies.  I wanted to get that out of the way, just in case bed rest is in my furture due to my fluctuating blood pressure.  Some days it’s good, other days it spikes and the doctors freak out.  I’m so over the freaking out thing.  I’ve worn these shoes before.  I know how to deal with it.  I still hate it, but I make it work.

After Target I went to the grocery store and got all the foods my doctor recommends I eat.  Oranges and OJ (taken with my iron pill), skim milk (taken with my blood pressure pill) dark leafy greens like spinach and watermelon.  They say that vitamin C helps the iron pill absorb, the calcium in the milk helps lower blood pressure (in combination with the meds) and the spinach and watermelon are just alternatives to the above.

Lately, I have been having food aversions, mostly to meats and this is not good when one already has an iron deficiency while pregnant.  Thankfully, a very kind gentleman working in the meat department of the grocery store in which my husband works at, offered some awesome choices for picky pregnant women.  Thanks, Ken!  (And a shout out to Carole, his awesome wife who reads this blog:  Your husband helped me find a few things that my husband put on the grocery list that I couldn’t find.  Turns out I passed the meat case they were in at least five times.  I blame pregnancy and a fear of raw meat.)

I ended up buying two small lean steaks.  The steak was okay, but honestly, I’m not sure if I’ll be having steak for quite awhile.  I just don’t care for it this pregnancy.  Doug nearly died, because steak is one of my most favorite foods.    Even chicken and fish are on my list of yuck these days.  (Don’t worry, next week I’ll crave grilled chicken and eat it every day for a week.  That’s how odd my cravings are these days.)

Wow. This blog post is all random.  I have forgotten my point.

Whatever, moving on.

Dawson will be visiting my parents’ house this afternoon so that I may get some rest without all the constant demands of an almost 5-year-old.  I just want to lay down and read a book and watch Roseanne reruns.  The Doodlebug has so much energy.  He wants to run, run, RUN and Grandpa Frank is just the buddy my active child needs.  They will be playing baseball and going on 4-wheeler rides and all the things boys like to do.  (Doug would have taken him to the park, but he works long and crazy hours, waking each day at 5 a.m.  Poor guy.)

Still can’t remember the point of this post.  Perhaps I just wanted y’all to know I’m still alive.

Happy Friday!  Happy Weekend!

August 4, 2009

Health Care: Yes, I’m Going There

I have been trying, for weeks, to get out my thoughts on the Obama Healthcare Bill.  I’ve rewritten my post several times.  I never found the “right” words.

But OHMommy?  OH how wonderful and right and true her post is. And the best part is she declares herself not a Republican or Democrat, not a conservative or liberal, but a concerned American.  Just as I am concerned with the fate of this country, and it’s health care debacles, we need all Americans to be just as concerned.

In my own post, which I may or may not publish (still think it’s missing something) I wrote a sentence in which I say:

When thinking about all the people I’ve met and spoken with about why they voted for Obama, so many have said that they want better health care options, they want all people to be insured and to receive health care coverage.

My question is, do they want better health care coverage and access and choices?  Or do they just want the government to foot the bill?  Because really?  Government footing the bill equals taxpayers footing the bill which then means the middle class is strapped with the bill.  Don’t tell me that’s not true.  You know it’s true.  Are the rich really going to pay for the rest of America to have health coverage?  We can’t ask the poor, or those who cannot afford coverage to pay for it, now can we?

And then another thought comes to mind.  How many people will take advantage of this “free” government funded taxpayer funded health care package, causing more finacial strife in this already shitty economy?  All for cheap, low-quality health care coverage?  Seriously?

Why do some Americans believe they can have health care coverage and not have to pay for it?  Remember, someone else is paying for it, and it sure ain’t Barack Obama or Congress or any other politician.  It’s my dime, and your dime (if you pay taxes), that pays for this health care bill.  And I’m sorry, but I’m not going to pay for shitty coverage.  WHY? Because, I do that already.

This country needs to do something about health care, but socialized medicine is NOT the answer.  There needs to be structure and competition and these multi-billion dollar insurance companies need regulation so that all Americans can be covered and eligible. They are making money hand over fist, and still people who need health care are not being covered for various “reasons” that I swear these insurance companies make up as they go along.

I’m so frustrated about the direction this country seems to be going in.  This is the land of the free, yes, but that doesn’t mean we get whatever we want for free.

Whatever happened to working hard and paying our own way?  My parents didn’t raise me to take advantage of the system. I’m not talking about those Americans who truly need those benefits and programs.  I’m talking about those who abuse the system.  (I know several.  They openly admit to not working so they can reap the benefits of Medicaid and food stamps and low-income housing and only work for cash to avoid paying taxes.  One of these people even gets a tax return, and she doesn’t pay taxes.  How is that possible?)

Speaking of “the land of the free,” perhaps we should we change our motto to “the land of the government ruled?”

I agree with OHMommy when she says, “Hey, President Obama.  I want the same health care plan that you and Congress are getting.”

August 1, 2009

Gearing Up for D-Day (And Freaking Out About It)

“No two pregnancies are exactly alike,” my nurse told me at my recent prenatal appointment.

I was discussing all the differences between my pregnancy with Dawson and my current pregnancy, and asking questions about weight gain and blood pressure and whether or not I should be concerned about pre-eclmapsia this time around. The risk of getting this condition again is quite high and lately this issue occupies my mind. My nurse reassured me and encouraged me to discuss these issues and ask my doctor any questions I had.

At this appointment, 28 weeks, I wasn’t seeing my regular OB/GYN, but one of the new doctors to join the hospital staff.  He was very polite and very Russian and I loved his accent just as much as Dr. F’s (who is Ukranian).

Dr. Petkov (and now every time I hear his name I want to say Dr. Petco) went over my charts, told me that my weight gain is in the acceptable range, but stressed that I must be diligent about eating healthy so as not to gain too much weight in the next twelve weeks.  He also talked about my blood pressure.  It was a little high this time and they will continue to monitor this condition very closely.

I was very happy with Dr. P, and after leaving his office I went down to the lab to repeat the glucose testing.  The flat Sprite drink never gets any easier to gulp down.  Yuck.

While waiting the required hour for the blood draw, I started thinking about labor and delivery again.  Yes, this is another issue that keeps me awake at night.  Just like no two pregnancies are exactly alike, I imagine no two births are exactly alike either.  I started to wonder if I’ll ever be completely prepared for contractions and labor pains and pushing a baby out of my nether regions again.

You’ve all read my birth story with Dawson (probably more than once) and you know it wasn’t the birth experience I hoped for.  This time, I’m doing everything in my power to get ready for D-day.  I’ve read all the pregnancy books in my shelves.  I’ve gone to the library and checked out new books that I haven’t read yet.  I’ve asked female friends and family members to share their experiences and advice (and yes, some of these women have scared the crap out of me with their horror stories).

Giving birth, no matter how many times you’ve done it before, is a new and challenging experience.  We each have unique experiences in our pregnancies, and labor and delivery is no different.  Even after reading book after book and blog after blog and magazine after magazine, I still have one unanswered question:  What the hell can I expect this time around?

This is the one question that I know won’t be answered until that first contraction begins.  This is why I’m so afraid of childbirth.  I didn’t exactly “feel” it the first time around.  The epidural took the pain away.   This time, I have my heart set on natural childbirth (because I hated, HATED, that my legs were numb, it made me claustrophobic…) and because I’m afraid of the pain (because some of my friends thought it would be hilarious to tell my how HORRIBLE and AWFUL and UNBEARABLE it is) I’m starting to think I’m crazy and I’m tempted to change my mind.

The decisions I make during my pregnancy, labor and childbirth could affect the type of birth experience I have.  Any of these decisions could determine whether I have a vaginal or cesarean birth, how long it takes me and baby to recover, as well as how successful breastfeeding will be (it was difficult for me the first time around).  With all the information being thrown at pregnant women, it’s hard to truly know what’s right for me.  It’s also difficult to make these decisions without over-analyzing my choices.

While I’m doing my best to be prepared and to have a birth plan in place, I also have to realize that planning does not equal total control.  Anything can happen and it’s important that I be flexible to any change in my birth plan, as well as do what’s best for me and the health of my baby.

So why do I feel so uncertain and somwhat terrified? I don’t want to be afraid.  I want to be ready.  I want to feel confident that I’m making the right choices regarding this pregnancy, labor and delivery.  Will I ever feel like I’m prepared?

Thankfully, I have twelve more weeks to get ready mentally, physically, and emotionally.

I can do it.  I can do it.  I can do it.  Right?

Yes.

I think?