July 21, 2009

This Post is Crazy

Honestly.  What day is it?  Oh yeah.  Tuesday.  Two days before I leave for BlogHer.  I’m so out of my mind today, that I asked Doug what the date was, three times, and he was all, “July 21st…all day long…you should know…you wrote three checks today.” Why yes, yes I did write three checks today, but I probably got the dates wrong on them, and no one bothered to tell me.

For those of you wondering why I wrote checks, it’s because we don’t have debit cards for our joint checking.  We canceled them after a fraud incident and never bothered to get new ones, because really, not having debit cards has proven to be quite effective in money management.  No seriously, we actually have money left over at the end of the month, after paying bills and buying necessities like groceries and toilet paper and beer.  The beer is for Doug, not me. DUH.

Without debit cards, we don’t have the urge to buy anything because that would mean we’d have to make like a caveman and actually dig out the thing called a check book and write a dollar amount and sign our names.  Like the olden days.  You know before debit cards.

So, we don’t spend much money.  Today I wrote a check to the garage for an oil change on my car, another for the grocery store because apparently the huz and the kid still have to eat while I’m in Chicago partying like a pregnant rock star, and the third check was to Target for bras, underwear and deoderant.  I bought bras and underwear because my current undergarments no longer fit due to the expanding belly and breasts.  And I needed deoderant because it would be a crime to stink you all to death in Chicago.  You can thank me later.

So. Yeah.  Now I have to concentrate on packing and making sure I don’t forget anything before I leave on Thursday.  If I don’t start tonight, I’ll be in the Windy city paying $6 for a razor or bottled water.  Or whatever.

I have no idea what the point of this post was, but now you have proof, actual evidence, that I am crazy.  CRAZY.

See you in Chicago.

July 20, 2009

Twenty-Seven Weeks: Thinking About Labor & Delivery

At 32 weeks pregnant with Dawson I was diagnosed with pre-eclampsia (pregnancy induced hypertension) and my doctor ordered bed rest for a week to see if my blood pressure would return to more normal levels.  At the end of  seven days of doing nothing but lay on my left side, I returned to work only to discover that working made my blood pressure skyrocket, and again I was put on strict bed rest until delivery.

Bed rest sucks.  When you are told you cannot exercise or lift heavy objects or clean your house or do anything other than lay around and watch your baby kick, you want nothing more than to get up and run around the house a million times.

At 38 weeks my pre-eclampsia turned into toxemia and Dr. Bergen instructed me to go home and pack my bags.  I would be admitted to the hospital that afternoon for labor induction.

I was dilated 3 cm, but not effaced, and after determining that Dawson’s lungs were most likely mature (I had received two steroid shots for lung development the week prior just in case labor started early on it’s own), inducing labor was best for the health of the baby.  Staying pregnant any longer was just too risky.

It was quite a shock.  I was nervous and excited.  Nervous because I didn’t know what to expect and excited to meet my new baby.

I have never found adequate words to describe my labor experience.   It wasn’t absolutely horrible, but it was nothing like I thought it would be.

After being admitted, the on call doctor, Dr. Jameson decided to start pitocin.

Oh, how I hated that horrible drug.  I remember feeling small contractions, similar to menstrual cramps only ten times worse.  Even though I was not experiencing full contractions, I was sobbing because the pain was awful.  I remember thinking that labor was going to be horrible, that I was going to die.  If I could not handle the “mini-contractions” how the hell was I going to push out a baby?

Twelve hours of the pitocin cocktail, which is given by IV, and labor still hadn’t progressed very much. I had  dilated to barely 4 cm and was 25% effaced.  I was tired.  So very tired.  Pitocin made it difficult to sleep, so at 11 p.m. Dr. Jameson shut off the IV and I slept until early the next morning.

The next doctor on call was Dr. Vo-Hill, and she administered a prostaglandin E2 vaginal suppository to induce labor by “ripening” the cervix.  After 24 hours I was stuck at 4 cm but now 50% effaced.

At 7:30 a.m. on Day 3, the new on call doc, Dr. Perkins, came into my room and asked me how I was feeling.  I was honest.  I told him how miserable I felt, how I didn’t understand the fact that one doctor said I needed to have this baby right away because of the risks toxemia presented, but I was laying in a hospital bed for two days seemingly increasing the risks.

Dr. Perkins was polite and explained that having me in the hospital allowed them to monitor my progress and that the fetal monitor strapped to my belly allowed them to keep an eye on my baby’s health as well.  He also explained that he would break my water because 48 hours of misery was too much to endure.

My water was broken a half-hour later, and wouldn’t you know, real contractions began and they were terrible.  At 6 cm I asked for an epidural.  After the pitocin disaster and all the stress and worry, I didn’t think I could handle pain.

I didn’t take a Lamaze class.  I thought I had more time.  Truth be told, friends told me Lamaze was useless and exhausting and they didn’t even use the breathing techniques during their labors.   My one regret was not taking the time to research natural childbirth or any other options available to me.  I just assumed an epidural was the way to go, mainly because women I talked to told me how wonderful it was.

When the anesthesiologist entered the room I was relieved.  I wanted the pain to go away.  I braced myself for the needle to the back and just like my friends had said, the pain relief was instant.  However, I hated feeling numb.  I know that sounds absolutely crazy.  I just couldn’t stand not being able to move around freely.  Five weeks of bed rest makes a person restless.

Having the monitor attached to me so that the nurses could monitor contractions was miserable, too.  It restricted my movement even more.  And the catheter!  Yuck.  I couldn’t stand all the things attached to my body.  Half-way through my third day of labor I so wanted to rewind and do things differently.

Just before the pushing stage of labor my epidural “broke” and the anesthesiologist came back to check the needle and turn off the pump.  I still couldn’t feel pain, but I remember the pressure in my lower abdomen and back.  An hour later I was starting to feel increased pressure and some pain.  It was time to push.

Another hour of pushing and Dawson was born.  It was amazing.  Here was this baby I waited so long for, finally in my arms.  I held him for mere moments before the nurses whisked him away for tests and pokes and prods.  Because of the toxemia they had to make sure he was okay.  I didn’t get to nurse him right away as I had planned.  He was away from me for three hours.

In the mean time, I was able to finally eat (they restricted food when they broke my water) and rest and wait for the epidural to wear off.  When Dawson finally came back to my room he was groggy and nursing was difficult.  When I was finally able to get out of bed and use the bathroom, I remember feeling weak.  I thought for sure I’d never be able to walk again.

I stayed in the hospital two more nights because the doctors needed to make sure my blood pressure returned to normal levels before discharging me.  I began feeling headaches that lasted for days, even after I went home, which the doctor said was a side effect of the epidural.

It wasn’t the birth experience I wanted.  I felt so out of control the entire five days I was in the hospital.  I think this is why I was so afraid to have another baby.  I thought for sure that I would go through the same things again.

Now that I’m pregnant, I am experiencing some of the same things.  I still have high blood pressure, but thankfully I’m able to control it by taking medication that is safe during pregnancy.  I’m doing all I can to prevent pre-eclampsia this time, even though the odds are stacked against me.  Women are more likely to experience the condition in first pregnancies, and once diagnosed, the chances of having it in subsequent pregnancies is high.

I’m nearly 27 weeks pregnant and I’m starting to think about labor and delivery once again.  I don’t want to go through induction again.  I don’t want the epidural again.  I’ve been researching natural childbirth.  I’ve discussed it with my doctor and with friends who’ve experienced natural labor.  I confess, I’m terrified.

Some of the books I’ve been reading talk about how using pain medication during labor is now expected.  Anyone who chooses to go without drugs is thought to be absolutely insane.  I’m not writing this post to start a war over the best way to have a baby.  I think this is a very personal choice and every pregnant woman needs to do what is best for her.

I just want to try to give birth without all the medical intervention and without drugs.  Key word here is try. Who knows, I might get into that delivery room and not be able to handle the pain at all.  But I’m determined to give it a shot.

My husband thinks I’m insane.

“Just have the epidural,” he says.

I’ve given him the pros and cons.  I’ve shared the risks with him.  I’ve told him that if I’m going to give birth naturally I need his support.  After our discussion I realized he just doesn’t want to see me in all that pain and he thinks the epidural is the right choice.  I don’t think it is, not this time.

Now that I’ve written the longest post ever, I’m going to ask for your help.  Share your birth experiences with me.  Did you go natural?  Did you have an epidural?  Tell me your pros and cons.  Share any resources or books you found helpful.  Thanks in advance!

(Also, be sure to click over to Dana Reviews to read about the Laugh and Learn DVD series and enter to win a set for yourself!)

July 19, 2009

In Which I Leave My Blog Bubble For a Moment

I must live in a bubble.  Regarding my blog, I mean.  A few weeks ago there was a Working-outside-the-home-mom vs. Stay-at-home-mom vs. Work-from-home-mom debate all over the blogosphere that I was oblivious to.  It was only brought to my attention after I wrote an article for the Imperfect Parent and a commenter tipped me off.

Then I read about the whole “PR Blackout” Controversy and was all where the hell have I been that I didn’t know about it until a second ago?

I don’t have much of an opinion about this situation, because I don’t receive many PR pitches.  Major companies aren’t seeking me out to review their amazing gadgets and gizmos.  I don’t get invited to things like Camp Baby or the Disney stuff or the other trips that some bloggers are invited to.  I know some bloggers think they have to be a “blogebrity” to secure those invitations.  I don’t think that’s true.  I think it depends on the type of blog and the traffic it receives, as well as how much influence you have in the great big blogosphere.

Thankfully, the few pitches I do get are from wonderful PR reps who happen to read my blog and offer relevant products and services they think I would be interested in.

I admit, I’ve gotten a few doozies.  A few.  Less than ten.

Yes, PR reps have asked me to spread the word about press releases pertaining to their products, services and causes.  I tend to ignore these requests, or reply with my regrets.  But most of the time I receive legitimate and thoughtful pitches and sometimes I say yes to reviewing the products that are relevant to my blog and my interests.

Is that really so wrong?

I’ve read posts saying that mommy bloggers are only in it for the freebies.  I’ve read posts telling bloggers not to do reviews if there is no monetary compensation.  I’ve read posts that say if you do a paid review you lose all integrity and authenticity.  My head is staring to hurt.  My brain is oveloaded from trying to make sense of all these contradictions.

I didn’t start blogging with the goal to make money or get free stuff.  Yes, it’s a nice perk, but I don’t actively seek opportunities to receive free stuff in exchange for my review.

My blog is my place to document my life, to write about marriage and motherhood, and to feel connected to others in the blogosphere.  I love this online community.  I write to share myself with others who may be experiencing the same things I do.

I know there are bloggers who write many reviews and they often feel overloaded with deadlines and e-mails.  I understand they may need a break from the stress of it all.  Everyone needs a break, I  get that.  But I’m not participating in this blackout, simply because I don’t like the negative connotations it sends into the blogosphere.

I agree with Liz when she says, “But then, why take the shot at PR people? Why not call it “Write Well Week” or “Blog About Life Week” if the idea isn’t to antagonize or alienate the PR community? Ostensibly, that’s what an effort called “PR Blackout” is doing.”

If you don’t want to do a review or host a giveaway, politely say no.  PR reps understand.  They do.  I’ve turned down a few pitches before, and I was nice about it.  To my knowledge no one’s feelings were hurt.

So there you have it.  My two cents.  I’ll be going back into my bubble now.

July 18, 2009

Someone Just Told Me…

…that PAULA DEEN will be at BlogHer.  I may die.  I’ve wanted to meet Paula Deen for years.  If I see her, I might faint at her feet.  And I might say things like y’all and fixin’ to… and OMG is this true?  Could it be?  Paula Deen at BlogHer?  MUST GET PHOTO WITH HER.  I heart Paula.

Paula if you are reading, I am not a stalker, just an adoring fan.

Y’all don’t know…How much….(can’t breathe)… I love this woman.  I’ve even tried to convince Doug to let me drive to Savannah to eat in her restaurant.  He thinks I am CRAZY.

Now….y’all wouldn’t kid a girl would you?  Is Ms. Deen really going to be at BlogHer?  In Chicago?

I think I’m going to faint.