July 20, 2009
Twenty-Seven Weeks: Thinking About Labor & Delivery
At 32 weeks pregnant with Dawson I was diagnosed with pre-eclampsia (pregnancy induced hypertension) and my doctor ordered bed rest for a week to see if my blood pressure would return to more normal levels. At the end of seven days of doing nothing but lay on my left side, I returned to work only to discover that working made my blood pressure skyrocket, and again I was put on strict bed rest until delivery.
Bed rest sucks. When you are told you cannot exercise or lift heavy objects or clean your house or do anything other than lay around and watch your baby kick, you want nothing more than to get up and run around the house a million times.
At 38 weeks my pre-eclampsia turned into toxemia and Dr. Bergen instructed me to go home and pack my bags. I would be admitted to the hospital that afternoon for labor induction.
I was dilated 3 cm, but not effaced, and after determining that Dawson’s lungs were most likely mature (I had received two steroid shots for lung development the week prior just in case labor started early on it’s own), inducing labor was best for the health of the baby. Staying pregnant any longer was just too risky.
It was quite a shock. I was nervous and excited. Nervous because I didn’t know what to expect and excited to meet my new baby.
I have never found adequate words to describe my labor experience. It wasn’t absolutely horrible, but it was nothing like I thought it would be.
After being admitted, the on call doctor, Dr. Jameson decided to start pitocin.
Oh, how I hated that horrible drug. I remember feeling small contractions, similar to menstrual cramps only ten times worse. Even though I was not experiencing full contractions, I was sobbing because the pain was awful. I remember thinking that labor was going to be horrible, that I was going to die. If I could not handle the “mini-contractions” how the hell was I going to push out a baby?
Twelve hours of the pitocin cocktail, which is given by IV, and labor still hadn’t progressed very much. I had dilated to barely 4 cm and was 25% effaced. I was tired. So very tired. Pitocin made it difficult to sleep, so at 11 p.m. Dr. Jameson shut off the IV and I slept until early the next morning.
The next doctor on call was Dr. Vo-Hill, and she administered a prostaglandin E2 vaginal suppository to induce labor by “ripening” the cervix. After 24 hours I was stuck at 4 cm but now 50% effaced.
At 7:30 a.m. on Day 3, the new on call doc, Dr. Perkins, came into my room and asked me how I was feeling. I was honest. I told him how miserable I felt, how I didn’t understand the fact that one doctor said I needed to have this baby right away because of the risks toxemia presented, but I was laying in a hospital bed for two days seemingly increasing the risks.
Dr. Perkins was polite and explained that having me in the hospital allowed them to monitor my progress and that the fetal monitor strapped to my belly allowed them to keep an eye on my baby’s health as well. He also explained that he would break my water because 48 hours of misery was too much to endure.
My water was broken a half-hour later, and wouldn’t you know, real contractions began and they were terrible. At 6 cm I asked for an epidural. After the pitocin disaster and all the stress and worry, I didn’t think I could handle pain.
I didn’t take a Lamaze class. I thought I had more time. Truth be told, friends told me Lamaze was useless and exhausting and they didn’t even use the breathing techniques during their labors. My one regret was not taking the time to research natural childbirth or any other options available to me. I just assumed an epidural was the way to go, mainly because women I talked to told me how wonderful it was.
When the anesthesiologist entered the room I was relieved. I wanted the pain to go away. I braced myself for the needle to the back and just like my friends had said, the pain relief was instant. However, I hated feeling numb. I know that sounds absolutely crazy. I just couldn’t stand not being able to move around freely. Five weeks of bed rest makes a person restless.
Having the monitor attached to me so that the nurses could monitor contractions was miserable, too. It restricted my movement even more. And the catheter! Yuck. I couldn’t stand all the things attached to my body. Half-way through my third day of labor I so wanted to rewind and do things differently.
Just before the pushing stage of labor my epidural “broke” and the anesthesiologist came back to check the needle and turn off the pump. I still couldn’t feel pain, but I remember the pressure in my lower abdomen and back. An hour later I was starting to feel increased pressure and some pain. It was time to push.
Another hour of pushing and Dawson was born. It was amazing. Here was this baby I waited so long for, finally in my arms. I held him for mere moments before the nurses whisked him away for tests and pokes and prods. Because of the toxemia they had to make sure he was okay. I didn’t get to nurse him right away as I had planned. He was away from me for three hours.
In the mean time, I was able to finally eat (they restricted food when they broke my water) and rest and wait for the epidural to wear off. When Dawson finally came back to my room he was groggy and nursing was difficult. When I was finally able to get out of bed and use the bathroom, I remember feeling weak. I thought for sure I’d never be able to walk again.
I stayed in the hospital two more nights because the doctors needed to make sure my blood pressure returned to normal levels before discharging me. I began feeling headaches that lasted for days, even after I went home, which the doctor said was a side effect of the epidural.
It wasn’t the birth experience I wanted. I felt so out of control the entire five days I was in the hospital. I think this is why I was so afraid to have another baby. I thought for sure that I would go through the same things again.
Now that I’m pregnant, I am experiencing some of the same things. I still have high blood pressure, but thankfully I’m able to control it by taking medication that is safe during pregnancy. I’m doing all I can to prevent pre-eclampsia this time, even though the odds are stacked against me. Women are more likely to experience the condition in first pregnancies, and once diagnosed, the chances of having it in subsequent pregnancies is high.
I’m nearly 27 weeks pregnant and I’m starting to think about labor and delivery once again. I don’t want to go through induction again. I don’t want the epidural again. I’ve been researching natural childbirth. I’ve discussed it with my doctor and with friends who’ve experienced natural labor. I confess, I’m terrified.
Some of the books I’ve been reading talk about how using pain medication during labor is now expected. Anyone who chooses to go without drugs is thought to be absolutely insane. I’m not writing this post to start a war over the best way to have a baby. I think this is a very personal choice and every pregnant woman needs to do what is best for her.
I just want to try to give birth without all the medical intervention and without drugs. Key word here is try. Who knows, I might get into that delivery room and not be able to handle the pain at all. But I’m determined to give it a shot.
My husband thinks I’m insane.
“Just have the epidural,” he says.
I’ve given him the pros and cons. I’ve shared the risks with him. I’ve told him that if I’m going to give birth naturally I need his support. After our discussion I realized he just doesn’t want to see me in all that pain and he thinks the epidural is the right choice. I don’t think it is, not this time.
Now that I’ve written the longest post ever, I’m going to ask for your help. Share your birth experiences with me. Did you go natural? Did you have an epidural? Tell me your pros and cons. Share any resources or books you found helpful. Thanks in advance!
(Also, be sure to click over to Dana Reviews to read about the Laugh and Learn DVD series and enter to win a set for yourself!)
Posted by Dana @ 7:32 AM • The Mommy Files
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July 20th, 2009 at 3:26 PM, Kelly Says:
Hi! Did you read the post on Dooce about similar things? http://www.dooce.com/2009/07/13/labor-story-part-one
She decided to go natural with #2 – that’s part of her story.
I had a similar experience of inducing that was not fun (for low fluids) and ended up in an emergency c after I wouldn’t progress… this time (33 weeks along) I think I’m just doing the c again. Its not what I pictured before I had my 1st, but I can’t go through 2 days of labor and end up in a c again… I rather just have it scheduled and not be exhausted.
Good luck!
.-= Kelly´s last blog ..The Sneak Peek is Up – check it out! =-.
July 22nd, 2009 at 11:32 AM, Smug Says:
I am currently 11 weeks pregnant with my first child. I watched my sister go though a lot of the same that you did. Pre-eclampsia, induction and ended up with a C-section after 4 days. She labored naturally for almost 3 of those days, all the while they kept uping the pitocin, thus increasing her pain.
I have thought a lot about how I want to deliver my baby and while I don’t have any complications yet, I am doing everything I can to have a healthy pregnany. I am also going to take a class on Hypno-birthing. My cousin used that method with her second baby and said it was wonderful. I think that I will also take another natural method class too, but I haven’t decided which one yet. I just want to be as prepared as possible.
What I hate is the people that poo-poo my thoughts and opinions. When I say that I will have this baby naturally, they will laugh and say “oh yeah, you’ll want those drugs when the time comes”. I think that people need to justify why they did things the way they did or something. It bothers me!
Good luck and don’t worry or stress about it. That won’t help anything! Also, regardless of the birth experience that you had before and the one that you will have this time – at the end you will have a sweet new life to hold and love!
.-= Smug´s last blog ..Why the Dallas Cowboys Showed up at My Anniversary Party =-.
July 22nd, 2009 at 10:07 PM, Dana Says:
I was induced and after 2 hours waiting for the magical 4cm’s I couldn’t wait for the epi. It was the most wonderful 4 hours of my life. I rested and watched a movie. It was turned off for pushing.
To each her own, the chances of having a problem with the second epi are small.
A doula friend told me that she had seen good success with women who visualized their labor and delivery. From the moment labor starts until delivery. Not only will it help relax you, she says, it can also help focus you.
I didn’t go that route, exactly. If I somehow ever got pregnant again I’d get the epi again, but that’s my choice. I hate pain
August 2nd, 2009 at 8:43 PM, Tawnialynn Says:
I had a somewhat similar experience, i had pre-eclampsia with my first and was induced at 37 weeks. The contractions were horrible and i ended up having the epi, but when the time came to push i was still completely numb. It was my first baby and i didn’t know what i was doing, but the doctor seemed to be getting impatient so i tried it. I decided i didn’t want to go thru with that again when i had my second son and luckily i was able to go into labor naturally before they induced. At the hospital i was fairly adamant about not having the epi again so they tried other pain meds which i turned out to be allergic to. I had my second son completely naturally and it was wonderful. now i’m pregnant again and i just hope things go as smoothly as they did last time.
August 4th, 2009 at 10:19 AM, The Dana Files » Gearing Up for D-Day (And Freaking Out About It) Says:
[...] waiting the required hour for the blood draw, I started thinking about labor and delivery again. Yes, this is another issue that keeps me awake at night. Just like no two pregnancies are exactly alike, I imagine no two births are exactly alike [...]