Comments on: Power Struggle http://thedanafiles.com/2009/05/09/power-struggle/ Where Current Events Aren't Clouded By Baby Powder Thu, 12 Apr 2012 13:28:24 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Write From Karen http://thedanafiles.com/2009/05/09/power-struggle/comment-page-1/#comment-27899 Write From Karen Sat, 09 May 2009 17:38:55 +0000 http://thedanafiles.com/?p=1128#comment-27899 This sounds all too familiar. In fact, it got so bad that things came to an ugly head about seven years into our marriage and we nearly ended it. Because we really didn't want to see that happen, we sat down and we aired our grievances. What <em>exactly</em> was bugging us? For example, I learned that it absolutely makes my husband crazy when he comes home to a dirty kitchen. He hates this. He also really hates when I leave my shoes lying around. He also learned about a few things that absolutely drive me crazy about him. We concentrated on making those areas of our lives better. And quite frankly, we also agreed to chill out on the other stuff. You can't do it all, he can't do it all. It's all about balance. Seriously. My husband now knows that I clean house once a week, period. I simply can not see the point of cleaning a bit every day - it's like taking two steps back and one step forward. He has relaxed about having a less-than-stellar house and as a result, I have more energy (because I'm not cleaning my damn house all day long) and I'm happier because I get to do what I want to do instead and when he comes home, I'm more receptive to spend time with him. Seriously. You guys need to sit down and have a heart-to-heart (pick a time that you guys are relaxed, not stressed and rushed for time, and try to be kid-free, also). What is really bugging you. Compromise. Come to an agreement, and then stick to it. This is coming from a woman who's been married 19 years and has seen some NASTY curves in her marriage ... and survived. Remember, you're also hormonal. Everything is like sandpaper when we're hormonal. *smile* Good luck, kiddo. You can do this. This sounds all too familiar. In fact, it got so bad that things came to an ugly head about seven years into our marriage and we nearly ended it.

Because we really didn’t want to see that happen, we sat down and we aired our grievances. What exactly was bugging us? For example, I learned that it absolutely makes my husband crazy when he comes home to a dirty kitchen. He hates this. He also really hates when I leave my shoes lying around.

He also learned about a few things that absolutely drive me crazy about him.

We concentrated on making those areas of our lives better. And quite frankly, we also agreed to chill out on the other stuff. You can’t do it all, he can’t do it all. It’s all about balance. Seriously. My husband now knows that I clean house once a week, period. I simply can not see the point of cleaning a bit every day – it’s like taking two steps back and one step forward. He has relaxed about having a less-than-stellar house and as a result, I have more energy (because I’m not cleaning my damn house all day long) and I’m happier because I get to do what I want to do instead and when he comes home, I’m more receptive to spend time with him.

Seriously. You guys need to sit down and have a heart-to-heart (pick a time that you guys are relaxed, not stressed and rushed for time, and try to be kid-free, also). What is really bugging you. Compromise. Come to an agreement, and then stick to it.

This is coming from a woman who’s been married 19 years and has seen some NASTY curves in her marriage … and survived.

Remember, you’re also hormonal. Everything is like sandpaper when we’re hormonal. *smile*

Good luck, kiddo. You can do this.

]]> By: Dana http://thedanafiles.com/2009/05/09/power-struggle/comment-page-1/#comment-27898 Dana Sat, 09 May 2009 16:15:53 +0000 http://thedanafiles.com/?p=1128#comment-27898 I think you're right, Jean! We're home so we do what we can. I can clean and five minutes later a toy is on the floor. Dawson will pick up his toys, but then he'll bring something else out. Add to that being pregnant and tired and holy crud I can't do it all. I think you’re right, Jean! We’re home so we do what we can. I can clean and five minutes later a toy is on the floor.

Dawson will pick up his toys, but then he’ll bring something else out.

Add to that being pregnant and tired and holy crud I can’t do it all.

]]> By: Jean M. http://thedanafiles.com/2009/05/09/power-struggle/comment-page-1/#comment-27897 Jean M. Sat, 09 May 2009 15:36:17 +0000 http://thedanafiles.com/?p=1128#comment-27897 I'm in the same power struggle boat to an exact tee. The hubs believes I "have nothing better to do all day" and that I'm his personal assistant when it comes to things he needs done but wants me to do. Of course he also feels entitled that since he works all day and I do "nothing" but keep house, take of 3 kids, and blog that nothing else is required of him. I find it strange that it's even harder since not working out of the house to keep up with the house. I guess since we're here all day there's no down time for the house to remain actually clean. Hang in there cause I'm hanging along with you. :) I’m in the same power struggle boat to an exact tee. The hubs believes I “have nothing better to do all day” and that I’m his personal assistant when it comes to things he needs done but wants me to do. Of course he also feels entitled that since he works all day and I do “nothing” but keep house, take of 3 kids, and blog that nothing else is required of him.
I find it strange that it’s even harder since not working out of the house to keep up with the house. I guess since we’re here all day there’s no down time for the house to remain actually clean.
Hang in there cause I’m hanging along with you. :)

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