March 16, 2009

Tomorrow, I Turn 30

…and I’m freaking out about it.

It really isn’t that big of a deal.  We can’t stop the passing of time.  I’ve had 29 previous birthdays, I should be used to this “getting older” thing.  Right?

I mean, it’s not like I’m 105 and on the up swing of death or anything.

So why do I feel so depressed?

I mean, I’ve been given the best birthday gift ever.  I’m going to have another baby.

And I have a beautiful little boy who lights up my life in so many ways.

And I have a wonderful husband who loves me.

Ugh.

Maybe it’s because it’s the end of my 20s.  Perhaps I’m recalling every carefree moment of those early years, 20, 21 and 22.  And maybe I’m recalling my grown up moments at 23, 24 and 25.  It’s 26 through 29 that were sort of bumpy.  Those were the years I tried to fit into my own skin — the years I tried to make my life more my own.  They were also the years of great changes and frustrations and I sort of wish I could do them over again.

But alas, I will be 30.  Tomorrow.  And I’m freaking out….  Just a little.

March 15, 2009

Bedtime for Bonzo? Yeah, Right…

When it comes to bedtime, Dawson is known to put up a good fight.  He’ll think of any excuse in the book.  He’s thirsty, he doesn’t feel good (so Mom should hold him on the couch while watching Spongebob — that will cure his illness, he says) or there are monsters in the closet.

It wasn’t always so difficult to get him to sleep.  When he was an infant he slept fairly well.  Toddlerhood approached and things were good, that is until I suffered a back injury and couldn’t lift him into his crib (which was only a problem when my husband worked second shift).

That’s when we became a co-sleeping family.  For the last three years, Dawson has slept in bed with me and my husband.  I know what you’re thinking, but before you judge me, please know that once I was back to my old self I tried to get him back into the routine of sleeping in his own bed.  He cried so hard he threw up, and I felt like a terrible mom because of it.  Crying it out seemed like cruel and unusual punishment.

So, you would think that a child who sleeps in the same bed with his parents would have no trouble going to bed.  Not my son.  He’ll fight bedtime tooth and nail.  I’ve actually had to bribe him with promises of donuts for breakfast.  Sometimes it works.  Sometimes, I feel like I’m trying to wrangle a chimpanzee.

Just last night Dawson told me he couldn’t go to bed because a “very scary grasshopper will sneak through the window and bite me on the ear!”  I’m always amazed with his imagination.  These excuses are getting more incredible each time.

I’m sure my child will eventually sleep in his own bed.  Hopefully, it will happen by the time his little brother or sister is born.  I do not want another little person sleeping in our bed — especially because our dog sleeps there with us, too.  I know.  We don’t set boundaries.  We’re working on it.  He can’t sleep with us forever.  Right?

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This post was inspired by the Parent Bloggers Network as part of their blog blast with Sylvania PalPODzzz – Are You Afraid of the Dark? You can learn more about the Sylvania PalPodzzz by visiting their online store, or check out what Dawson thought of the portable rocket ship nightlight we had the chance to review.

March 12, 2009

Baby Talk

It feels like ages ago that I wrote a post.  I’ve recovered from the flu, Dawson is slowly returning to his normal self (he has a lingering cough, but hopefully he’ll shake it soon), and Doug has avoided sickness yet again.

I had my first prenatal appointment on Tuesday afternoon.  It was an hour long appointment with the nurse, the one in which she asks 100 questions about my medical and family histories and tells me things I already know, and a few things I didn’t know.

My blood pressure was sky high because I stopped taking the labetalol when I discovered I was pregnant (it’s not safe for pregnancy, and I didn’t wait around for my family practice doctor to tell me what to do).  The nurse was very concerned about this and made a note to discuss it with my OB, Dr. F.  She also reviewed my charts from my first pregnancy and noted that I had pre-eclampsia resulting in induction two weeks early.

Later that afternoon the nurse called back and told me that Dr. F reviewed my current and past pregnancy charts and he ordered an ultrasound to check the due date and to rule out twins (I used Clomid this cycle to boost the release of high quality eggs and there’s a higher chance for multiples).  Dr. F also sent my chart down to Dr. A (my family practice doctor) to give him an update on my blood pressure.  Dr. F advised a medication switch.

So, this morning was my ultrasound.  The baby looks like a blob somewhat resembling a kidney bean, but when I saw her (or his) beating heart, tears began to well up.  It was at that moment that I really felt pregnant.  This is for real, I thought.  I loved having that reassurance.

But even through the happiness, there was some not so great news, too.  The ultrasound technician was taking pictures of my ovaries and found follicles on both.  It also appears that I ovulated from both ovaries, but only one egg was fertilized.  The right ovary looked normal, but the left ovary had several large cysts.  One of them was 50% bigger than my ovary and there was some fluid around it.  That sort of freaked me out.

After the ultrasound I waited for the nurse to give me the details and she said she’d have Dr. F take a look and they’d give me a call later.

I got the call about an hour ago, and the nurse told me follicles (or cysts) are normal — the follicle results from the release of an egg, and that follicle releases the hormone progesterone which sustains the pregnancy until the placenta can take over — and they usually shrink up on their own.  Dr. F is concerned about the size of the larger cyst and wants to monitor my condition.  They want to make sure it goes away (Side Note: Clomid causes enlarged ovaries and cysts) and if it doesn’t, they’ll need to make sure it does not rupture which could cause problems in my pregnancy.

Needless to say, all of this made me nervous, but it does explain the pains I’ve had on the left side of my lower abdomen.  I honestly thought it was just bloating, or gas pains, but now I realize it’s either the cyst getting larger or shrinking.  Let’s hope for the latter, shall we?

I’m not going to dwell on it.  My doctor is amazing and I trust him completely.  Just knowing he’s monitoring this condition, and doing everything he can to make sure my pregnancy goes smoothly is very comforting.  This doctor is the first doctor I’ve had that truly cares about my well being.  He listens to me, he answers my questions and he works with me to make sure all is well.  I wish more doctors were like him.

When I got home today, I showed Dawson the pictures of his new sister (or brother) and he was so excited.  The baby’s heartbeat was 144, and I laughed because I remembered that old wives tale about heartbeats less than 140 = boy, over 140 = girl.  So, I think it’s a girl.  Doug thinks it’s a boy.  Either way we’ll be happy.  We’ve waited for this little one for a long time.  Soon enough he or she will be here.  Only 32 weeks to go!

March 9, 2009

And Then Zeus Struck a Thunderbolt At My Head…

I have the flarking flu.

At first I thought it was morning sickness.  But then I had some other fluish symptoms that confirmed that someone is trying to kill me.

I may be in bed for the rest of this day and the next.

Send help…