January 29, 2009
I Went Out in Public Wearing My Pants Inside Out
Last night my parents invited Dawson and me to go sledding and tobogganing with them. My sister Rachel and my brother Frank came along, too. Their church was hosting a sledding party at Iverson Park and since Dawson had already been to the winter park twice before, I couldn’t say no.
Now before I go any further with this story, I must confess that I had never been down a toboggan run before. I’m nearly 30 years old and last night was my first time. I was a toboggan virgin.
Iverson Park is beautiful in the summer, but it’s full of snowy action in winter months. They have a sledding hill which is BYOS (bring your own sled) and two toboggan slides, each 300 feet long. When we got to the park and my dad asked if I wanted to go down, I hesitated when I discovered we’d have to climb to the top of the platform. I was freaked out because this is what the drop looks like:
I. Was. Terrified.
My fearless Dawson looked at me and said, “Mommy, you can’t be scared. It will be so much fun!”
I declined to go down with Dad, Mom and Dawson. Instead, I went down with my brother Frank first. I didn’t want my son to see me cry.
So we climb up to the top, I sat down on the front of the toboggan, with my feet directly under the curl and my little bro (who’s 6′ 3″ and a good 250 pounds) sat behind me. I felt safer knowing there was an anchor behind me. The slide attendant instructed me to keep my body parts on the sled and to hold tight to the rope.
“Ready?” she asked.
“I think so,” I said with a stutter.
“Have fun!” she yelled.
Next thing I know she dropped the hatch and down we flew. Picture me screaming, eyes closed, and tears streaming down my rosy cheeks.
“Hooooollleeeee Craaaaapppp!” I screamed.
When we got to the end and started to slow down, I opened my eyes, and sat there frozen with fear.
“Are you okay?” Frank asked.
“Am I alive?” I replied.
“Yeah. You made it.” he said.
“Okay, then I’m okay. I’m okay, right?” I couldn’t believe I didn’t die.
As we walked back up the hill, I saw my parents, my sister and little Dawson going down for the second time. My son, fearless and smiling, was screaming with delight. He loved it.
“Mumma! Poppa, Nonna and Rachel and me won the race! Woo hoo!” he shouted.
“You did!” I said.
Dawson asked me if I liked the “noggin hill” and I told him as long as I didn’t break my own noggin, I would be fine.
I managed to get up the courage to go down again, but with my Dad, Mom and Dawson. This time the sled crashed and we all went rolling. I was so happy I wore three pairs of pants because I had some major butt burn. That wasn’t the first time we crashed either (can you believe I went down a total of 12 times?), and this morning I was so stiff in the buttocks and lower back.
Dawson had preschool this morning, and I realized we were running late. I quickly threw on one of the pairs of pants I wore last night and drove my boy to school.
When I got home, I sat down on the couch to take a rest and noticed my sweats were inside out. I can’t believe I was out in public dressed like that!!
If anyone noticed, I’ll blame it on Noggin Hill and my butt burn. It could have been worse. I could have broken my arse instead of just getting a bruise on one cheek. No seriously, it’s black and blue!
Dawson has been begging to go sledding again, and I think I might just do it. As scary as it is, it sure is one hell of an adrenaline rush!
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January 29th, 2009 at 4:24 PM, Christine Says:
Sounds scary. And fun. I like to stick to less steep hills myself.
Last time we went sledding I got a big ol’ bruise on one of my butt cheeks too. What’s the deal?
January 29th, 2009 at 6:26 PM, Dana Says:
Can I just say that ass burn is painful? It is! Glad I’m not the only one suffering.
January 30th, 2009 at 11:17 PM, Caffeinatrix Says:
lol…that sounds like something I would do. I’ve also left the house dressed normally and realized once I got to my destination that I had warm fuzzy slippers on.
January 31st, 2009 at 5:55 PM, Daisy Says:
It’s winter. As long as you keep your coat on, no one will notice the pants. As to the butt bruise…no one needs an explanation, either.
February 3rd, 2009 at 10:51 AM, Wisconsin Mommy Says:
Holy Crap indeed! That hill looks like something out of one of those waterpark log rides, but without the cushion of water at the bottom. I think I would have chickened out!