January 6, 2009
I’m Feeling a Little Melancholy
The Christmas Tree has finally been taken down, and let me tell you, that was my workout for the day. Seriously. Dragging Rubbermaid boxes (big and heavy ones, too) up and down the stairs was like my step class at the YMCA. Multiplied by an intensity of 20. Or maybe it just felt that way because I hadn’t been to the gym in so long, post injury.
I felt kind of sad while I packed away all the ornaments and other holiday decorations. Even though I’m glad I survived the holidays without killing anyone, I feel like the Christmas season goes by so quickly. I tried to enjoy all the festivities, but last month was difficult for me. Dealing with all the infertility stuff and then falling down the stairs sort of took the wind out of my sails. I was just happy to get through it all.
I’ve spent the last two days cleaning and getting things done. The hubs is trying to be helpful, but I think I prefer doing it all by myself because he has no idea where anything goes, so he puts it wherever he sees fit, making more work for me. And this adds to my frustration because I find myself saying, “where the heck is the…” at least ten times a day.
Right now Doug, Dawson and Murphy are at Grandma’s house and I’m enjoying every moment of silence. There’s something about doing chores while no one else is around to get in the way or ask millions of ridiculous questions or cause too many distractions.
I’m going to attempt to clean Dawson’s room, but the “mom” in me is telling me to wait until he gets home so he can put all his toys away (while I supervise). I refuse to do anything for him. I don’t want him to think that it’s my job to pick up after the messes he makes. I still haven’t even put his laundry away. I know he’s only four, and he can’t fold a shirt to save his life, but I figure I might as well try to teach him which drawers his socks and underpants belong in. And since most of the laundry is folded, I can instruct him as to where his clothes belong. (It all sounds well and good, but I just know I’ll lose my patience and just put it away for him.)
The weather here is rather cold, and I’ve been watching the forecast on the Weather Channel. It’s supposed to get extremely cold tonight and I’m not happy. I don’t mind Winter, and I can tolerate snow, it’s the below zero temperatures I can’t stand. It’s safe to say that I’m looking forward to Spring.
Dawson has been begging to go sledding again, but I’m afraid it’s just not warm enough to be outside. Freezing winds and icy paths are just not safe, especially for me and my knee. Speaking of the knee, it’s getting much better. I had my first yoga class last night, and the stretching is slowly working it’s magic. I’ve also been doing leg raises (with out any weights) and I can finally bend the knee past a 90 degree angle. I’m so excited about this, because I really did not want to go to physical therapy. Next follow-up with the doctor is January 20th.
Also on the 20th, I have a follow-up with Dr. F (my fertility doc) to have an ultrasound (to check the ovaries) and if I’m not pregnant (we’ll see if the period arrives as scheduled next week. I’m hoping it doesn’t.) I will be trying a round of Clomid. I’m not really looking forward to that. I wanted to conceive as naturally as possible, but Dr. F says sometimes Mother Nature (and God?) needs a kick in the pants.
This month I didn’t even worry about pregnancy. I knew when my fertile days were and we planned our rendezvous accordingly, but I went in with the mindset that this may not be the month. I’d rather be surprised than disappointed yet again. I guess I’ve been dealing with this for so long that I’ve become rather indifferent about it all.
To snap myself out of this depressing winter mood, I’ve decided to take Dawson to Appleton this weekend. We’ve got a date at the Children’s Museum and I’m taking him to Chuck E. Cheese, too. (I know, after last time, I should be running far away from that place.) It will give us something fun to do and nothing makes me happier than seeing Dawson smile. Hopefully I’ll stop feeling so melancholy, too.
RSS feed for comments on this post.
TrackBack URI
January 8th, 2009 at 12:10 pm, Liz@thisfullhouse Says:
I know it must be really hard to stay positive and focused — especially, at this time of year — but, I hope you know how much I adore you and wish nothing but good things for you in 2009. Chin up, chest out (tee-hee) and keep on swimming, Momma.
January 29th, 2009 at 12:56 am, Linda Says:
I enjoyed your column until I came to the “I refuse to do anything for him” comment and then went on to read we were discussing a four year old.