December 4, 2008
Mommy Needs a Time-Out
I had a mommy meltdown last Sunday afternoon. I don’t really know what set me off, but I began yelling and cursing and crying because I just couldn’t put a smile on my face and pretend everything was hunky dory. Did you know Hunky Dory was an album by David Bowie? I just learned that when I googled how to spell hunky dory. Anyway, back to my temper tantrum.
It all started with our Thanksgiving plans. Sometimes we go to my parents’ house, once or twice we visited Doug’s parents’ house and this year we decided to forego it all. I was in no mood to deal with the families this year. I know it’s wrong of me to think that way, but I’ve been too busy these days, and being with my family can be stressful. I knew I’d probably lose my mind in front of my parents or in-laws. They can thank me later for sparing them this torture. Doug and Dawson weren’t as lucky.
Because we didn’t make plans to go to my family’s Thanksgiving dinner, we decided to compromise and made plans to go to my mom and dad’s house on Sunday to watch the Packer game. I was looking forward to it. Football watching is one of my favorite activities, especially with my dad and my brother Nathan. We’re diehard Cheeseheads, and Packer games are tons of fun when watched with them. (Except when our GBP’s lose, then we over-analyze all that went wrong and which plays McCarthy should have used to clinch the win.)
Needless to say, Sunday morning got off on the right foot when I overslept and missed church. I had to work that morning, too, so I was already late in starting my rotation. I plowed through it, trying to be done by noon, but at quarter to the hour I still wasn’t done. I knew I’d need another half hour or so to finish up, and I asked Doug to call my dad and tell him we’d be late.
Of course, my request went in one ear and out the other. Doug and Dawson were laying on the couch watching Spongebob (He’s baaaaaaack!), and I was furious.
I tried to ignore the anger and I took my laptop to the bedroom to finish my work in a quieter setting. Then I lost my internet connection. It took twenty minutes to figure out that the router was acting stupid, but after resetting things, all was well.
That’s when Doug asked if I was ready to go. I blew my top. I lost my mind and began yelling at my beloved.
“Are you f*cking kidding me? I asked you to call my Dad and say we’d be late.”
“Yeah, but you know your dad, he’ll be mad we’re not there.”
“Fine, then go without me.”
“Well, what am I supposed to say when he asks where you are?”
“Tell him I’m fricken working you mo-ron.”
“Why are you getting so flipping mad at me?”
He was standing there with this look on his face, as if he had no clue as to why I was so pissed off. I wanted to hit him over the head with a baseball bat cast iron frying pan. Suddenly I broke down into tears. I was so frustrated because I felt like a ton of bricks was strapped to my shoulders.
My husband too often fails to acknowledge all the things I do for the benefit of our family.
Sometimes I wonder if he thinks that because he goes off to work (full time) each day, that his job is more important than mine. What about me? What about what I do?
Not only do I work from home, I work part-time for a family friend, I raise our son and I make sure this house is functioning. Doesn’t he appreciate that? Why can’t he acknowledge my sacrifices and my accomplishments? Why is it so difficult for him to help me out more around here?
I know he does what he can, but honestly, I’m the one who’s stretched too thin. I just wish he could truly understand that my role is just as important as his, and that I pull my own weight. And then some.
Is that too much to ask?
Maybe I just need a time-out. In Hawaii. On the beach. Yeah, that’s what I need. A time-out.
(I know it’s not good to have these meltdowns, especially with the holidays near. I just think I need to start focusing on what’s really important in my life. And maybe I’ll tell everything else to take a hike.)
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December 4th, 2008 at 8:41 AM, Amber Says:
There is just so much pressure heaped on us. I, too have had my moments of frustration. And yes, I think we ALLLLLL need a trip to Hawaii. Or the time-out-that-is BlogHer.
Ambers last blog post..A mom blog tutorial on organizing for the organizer
December 4th, 2008 at 8:46 AM, Dana Says:
Oh, Amber. I CAN’T WAIT for BlogHer. I’m counting the days….
December 4th, 2008 at 10:40 AM, Christina Says:
Aw, hon, I’m sorry. The holidays always seem to be a time of stress for many people, so you’re not alone.
But I really think guys just don’t get it, too. We don’t always draw attention to everything we do, so guys don’t see it. (I know if my husband does anything outside of normal, he will tell the world about how much work he did and congratulate himself for it.)
Christinas last blog post..One Year. 525,600 Moments of Change