May 4, 2008
One is Fun, but…
As the mother of one adorable little boy, I can’t offer advice about life with two kids. However, I remember when I was pregnant with Dawson, my co-worker with two children decided to grace me with her parenting expertise. I didn’t ask for it, and it was not welcome.
I believe she had good intentions. She wanted me to be prepared. Instead she scared me silly with her tales of meconium, cholic, exploding diapers and what to expect when the baby’s navel fell off. I listened. I tried to let it go in one ear and out the other. But then she said, “I sure hope you’re only having one kid, because let me tell you….one is fun, but two are work. Lots o’ work. Take my advice! Stick with one.”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Not only was I seven months pregnant and freaking out about pushing a baby out of my vadge, but this woman was sort of implying that she regretted having two children. I couldn’t help but wonder, “Is it really that terrible?”
I knew that having kids wouldn’t be easy, but the tone of her voice, the way she said “Take my advice…!” really got to me. She was pleading with me. It’s as if she thought she was doing me a favor by giving me her warning.
Thankfully, after Dawson was born, becoming a mother wasn’t horrible. It wasn’t easy, of course, but I managed to get the hang of it after awhile (at least I think I did). And wouldn’t you know it, my little Doodlebug is such an amazing child that I can’t wait to create another one just like him (or at least one that doesn’t like Spongebob Squarepants as much).
So, in the spirit of sharing assvice with Mommies to Be, my advice to you is: Don’t listen to other people’s assvice. Seriously. Although, something tells me you three amazing mommies already know that.
Congratulations to Her Bad Mother, Mrs. Chicken and Mrs. Chicky! They are each expecting their second bundles of joy any day now. May your labors be quick and painless. (For real, I’m rooting for pain free labors for all of you. It’s hard enough to be pregnant for nine months.)
Posted by Dana @ 7:39 AM • The Mommy Files
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May 4th, 2008 at 3:25 PM, Mrs. Chicken Says:
Since I’m having a c-section, all I have to say is “morphine is good.”
You are so right – closing your ears to other people is sometimes the best thing to do – especially when that other person is your mom!
Thanks!
May 5th, 2008 at 10:22 AM, Chicky Chicky Baby Says:
I met a woman in the salon the other day who gave me the whole “Ooh, you’re having a second one? Good luck with that!” speech. WTF??
Thanks for the advice!
May 5th, 2008 at 1:49 PM, Chicken And Cheese Overwhelmed Says:
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May 6th, 2008 at 9:15 AM, Roxanne Says:
I always hated getting unsolicited “advice,” too. Personally, I think the third one is the hardest, but only because you and your spouse are suddenly outnumbered. Once you learn to cope with three, having more just means bigger meals to cook and more laundry to do. Oh, at that point, there will be the inevitable questions: “Don’t you know what causes that?” “Are you Catholic or Mormon?” “Well, it’s obvious what you like to do in your spare time, isn’t it?”
Nothing wrong with two babies, or even more.
May 7th, 2008 at 1:28 PM, Mom101 Says:
Good advice for sure. I still remember the woman who told me – WITH MY BABY IN MY ARMS – how tough two were going to be and how she cautioned her daughter not to have two close together. There’s a special place in grandmother hell for women like that.