March 2, 2008
Gender Talk
When I decided to get a family membership to the local YMCA, I had big dreams of all the various activities we would participate in. I enrolled in yoga, pilates and butts ‘n guts, and I decided to let Dawson join gymnastics.
My reasoning was that it would help him learn to follow directions, get along with others, and burn off some of his endless energy. Since I’ve been home I’ve become his personal jungle gym (I have bruises to prove it!) and it was time to let him jump on trampolines and springboards under the supervision of young, agile, high school gymnasts. How could it go wrong?
When I mentioned Dawson’s enrollement to a few people, I got a funny look, as if to say, “But Dawson is a boy…and gymnastics is for girls…”
I know that typically more girls are enrolled in gymnastics classes than boys. Even I dabbled in the sport as a young kid (and broke my arm trying to imitate the moves of Mary Lou Retton on the pommel horse, during the 1984 Olympics.)
I can name only two male gymnasts. Bart Connor was the 1979 World Champion on the parallel bars and a member of the U.S. men’s gymnastics team at the 1984 Summer Olympic Games. Peter Vidmar, capatain of the U.S. men’s gymnastics team during the same 1984 Olympics, led the team to it’s first ever gold medal. But we rarely think of these men when we think of gymnastics, perhaps because the sport is heavily saturated with women.
I’m not saying that Dawson will grow up to be an Olympic medalist, and I’m certainly not saying he couldn’t, either. I don’t think I want him to become the next Bart Connor anyway. The amount of training and discipline involved in the sport is time consuming and only the most hard driven gymnasts actually make their names known. The extra toll on a young gymnast’s body can be devastating. It’s not my place to push Dawson into something he may not even want to do.
But since when is it okay to assume that because Dawson is a boy that he shouldn’t participate, or even want to participate, in the sport?
When Dawson was just an infant I tried to surround him with gender neutral toys. I didn’t want to expose him to anything overly boyish or overly girlish. The stereotype that boys wore blue, played with monster trucks, and loved football annoyed me, and my husband freaked out when I brought home a pink Little People mini-van because he thought it was “for girls”. I didn’t understand why everything had to be so black and white, or pink and blue, rather.
Gender is so potent that we project it onto both science and religion. Aside from the obvious anatomical difference between a male and a female, are we really that different? We’ve all heard that girls are emotional and boys are tough, but is that a biological trait or something we acquire because of how we are raised? Nature vs. Nurture?
Why are we defined by our gender? Why does society insist on imposing specific gender stereotypes upon men and women and boys and girls?
As a woman, I face gender stereotypes almost daily. I’m reminded that women can’t be priests every time I attend Mass. Every time I read the newspaper or watch the news, I’m reminded that a woman has yet to be president, and that any woman who runs for political office has to fight tooth and nail against a man. When I make a doctor or dentist appointment, I’m reminded that most of the nurses and hygienists are female (and the physicians are male).
It’s frustrating to realize that society still treats women as second class citizens. I’m not trying to start a gender war by saying that women are better than men — I think it depends on the circumstances. But if a highly qualified woman and a somewhat qualified man are vying for the same job, shouldn’t the one with more experience get the position?
Take for example, Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama, both of whom are running for president of the United States. Hillary has more political experience than Barack. Realistically, Hillary should become the next president, right?
I voted for Barack Obama for several reasons (and you can read all about that here), but as time has gone by I’ve wondered if my own subconscious gender stereotype has gotten in the way of choosing the right candidate for president. The feminist within me wanted to vote Clinton, but only for what I thought was the wrong reason; because she is a woman.
I never thought that gender stereotypes would affect me in this way. It wasn’t until my son was stereotyped that I realized that our society still uses gender to “keep us in our places”. It’s an outdated way of thinking and it needs to change. But how do we do this? Where do we begin?
Posted by Dana @ 9:07 am • Acting Up, Feminism, Kids These Days, Politics, The Doodlebug, The Mommy Files
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March 2nd, 2008 at 11:20 am, Nicole Says:
The people who are questioning your enrollment in gymnastics just aren’t thinking correctly. You’re right on the money.
I recall when I was in high school (like 20 years ago), we were told about the only wrestler from our school to win the state title. Before that, he had been instructed by his coach to take ballet, I believe. Maybe gymnastics, but I’m almost positive it was ballet. The reason being is it would help improve his ‘game’. And it did.
Continue to be opened minded and those other people will eventually see that you were right.
March 2nd, 2008 at 12:09 pm, sassymonkey Says:
Let’s see…gymnastics involves running, jumping around, flipping… Now I know that I don’t have kids and really haven’t been around little boys in awhile but if memory serves correct my nephews used to do all that in a normal day when they were young - usually on the couch or their beds. I personally think it’s great. He’ll work a lot of that energy out of his system as well as learn how to jump and flip without hurting himself.
And as the person above me mentioned ballet - male ballet dances are incredibly athletic. They have to be in order to do lifts and those jumps. I usually sit way up in the third balcony at the ballet and I can still see all the muscles in their thighs. sigh
March 2nd, 2008 at 5:59 pm, Dana Says:
Nicole, SassyMonkey, you are both right. I think it’s a good thing. I’m not going to worry about what others think.
Just today I watched cheerleading competition on ESPN and saw lots of boys doing tumbling and flipping and hoisting their female counterparts in the air for some difficult maneuvers. It takes a lot of skill, strength & endurance.
March 6th, 2008 at 1:17 pm, Lisse Says:
Well, I was going to make a comment about how the Russians (and several other countries) don’t have this prejudice, but when I went looking, I found this kid who is actually here in the States (his dad was apparently on the Soviet team years back).
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VhSDcgsDMcc
You don’t have to call it gymnastics, you can call it “tumbling.” At that age, that’s mostly what they are doing anyway.
March 6th, 2008 at 8:09 pm, Mama Duck Says:
Hmph, my little guy goes to gymnastics and he is all boy & LOVES it. There are other boys in his class too ;).
March 6th, 2008 at 8:26 pm, Jim - Just a Guy Says:
I was in gymnastics when I was a little boy and enjoyed it immensely. At 33 I am the father of a 3 year old boy who is teaching himself gymnastics and would love to get him in a program. Oh and yes I am still straight. If your kids loves it let them love it. This comes from a dad who has a son that still sleeps with a pink bunny that he stole from his sister as an infant. and no I have never tried to take it away.
April 7th, 2008 at 12:43 pm, Frank Says:
I’m old fashioned I guess, but I really feel that people should be allowed to have their free havens. A man should be able to retreat to his study with a drink and a cigar and the company of other men, and a woman should be able to retreat to the kitchen or the social circle of her choice with her women friends and not be judged for this either. You people who get all up in arms about gender need to let people act their gender every now and then. Equality is all good and well, but some people prefer the older ways.