We’ve entered the Super Hero stage and I’m not certain I’m prepared for it.
For several months, Dawson has been running through the house, jumping on bad guys; namely Murphy, our dog, who is the evil “so-so-rear” (sorcerer) from the planet Too Many Legos.
The horrible dragon (Mommy) must be slayed with his magic sword (empty wrapping paper tube). The mean overlord (Daddy) of the Great Blanket Castle (a comforter draped over two kitchen chairs) must be removed from his evil reign.
I’m happy to see that Dawson’s imagination is running wild. He’s brilliantly creating these amazing scenes. I’m not so sure I like being killed fourteen times each day.
“No, Mommy,” he yells. “You have to fall on the floor and die like this!”
I watch and learn as he dramatically drapes himself across the reclining chair and then rolls to the floor.
“Dawson, if I attempt to mimic such stunts, your father will have to call 9-1-1,” I tell him. “Don’t I get a body double for these tricks?”
Then this morning, the demands for a cape began. We were watching the Disney channel and a character named Captain Carlos came on the t.v.
“Mommy, I need to be a Super Dawson,” he said. “And I need a parachute for my back.”
“A parachute?” I asked. “What do you mean?”
“You see right there, on Cap’n Cah-wos. He gots a parachute on his back!”
“Oooh. You mean a cape?” I queried.
“Yeah! A cape! A CAPE!!”
“Okay, Bug. I’ll try to find a cape.”
I grabbed an old receiving blanket and tried to tie it around Dawson’s shoulders. Too short. Next, I tried his favorite blanket and it was too long. I chose an old fitted crib sheet and wrapped it around his shoulders, but I had no way to fasten it. The crying began.
I hit the Internets. Thank the heavens for Google, which led me to this Etsy page. For about $45, Panjo will create a handmade, custom Superhero cape for your child and with the many different fabric choices to pick from, how can you go wrong? Your child’s initial will be lovingly sewn on the back, too.
Now I just need to distract the Doodlebug until it arrives. Super Dawson Patience Powers, activate!
For the past three weeks, Dawson and I have been suffering bronchitis or pneumonia, or sinusitis, or maybe it’s just a very bad cold. At this point it doesn’t even matter.
I missed a week of work, we went to the doctor and got medicine, and for five days we were feeling better. Then, last Monday, it was as though we were sick all over again, only this time it was worse.
I called the family doctor and told him our new symptoms and he prescribed two more weeks of antibiotics. I have to take amoxicillin horse pills, Dawson has to have a half-teaspoon of Augmentin three times daily.
As I type this, Dawson is throwing himself into the wall because he DOES NOT WANT TO HAVE DA YUCKY MED-SIN!
No matter what I do or how I try to coerce him into swallowing this junk, he won’t budge.
I’ve resorted to sitting on top of him, as gently as possible of course, with his arms pinned under my thighs and prying his mouth open to force the milky-white, shitty-tasting medicine down his throat. Bubblegum flavored, my ass. And half the time he spits up what I put in.
I can’t do this anymore. I’m in tears because I feel like I’m torturing my precious child. But I know that we have to do this to get rid of the crap that’s taking over our bodies.
I’m crying because my mind is wandering. Maybe I should have never put my child in daycare and then he wouldn’t have brought home this nasty illness and we wouldn’t be suffering so miserably. Maybe I should quit my job and put my son into a protective bubble so he never gets sick again.
It could be that I’m delirious from the pills and the Tylenol sinus relief tablets. Or maybe the fact that my nose is running, my face hurts, my ears are plugged and I can’t hear a thing is what is wearing me down. Right now I feel like the shittiest mom on the planet and it sucks. This is one battle I hope to never fight again.
*Updated - After tricking Dawson into take his medicine, we settled on the sofa to watch t.v. only to discover the cable not working. He cried, I cried, and then we bundled up — snow pants and all — and went outside. The cold air felt so damn good. My nose unplugged, but my left ear is still stuffed with something. No one can talk to me on that side or I won’t hear them.
Would you believe it if I told you that less than a week after being sick with bronchial garbage, I’m sick again?
Yeah. I don’t believe it either. But it’s true. I’m starting to think I’m cursed. After three days of Lysoling (I know that’s not really a verb) every surface in my house and in my office, who’da thunk I’d get another sinus infection-thing? I am so frustrated and mad, but thankfully my doctor called in a stronger, better prescription to kick this nasty bacteria for good.
In the meantime, please enjoy this video. Frank Caliendo is so freakin’ talented. I’m trying to get tickets to one of his shows in Wisconsin. (You know he’s a Wisconsin native, right?)
I’ve got the complete video and it’s definitely a must see. Click here for more info. You can also watch his latest show in Milwaukee.
Dana Tuszke began her Mom career in 2004 after the birth of her son, Dawson the Demanding. She spends her days catering to the endless needs of a 3-year-old, vacuuming the never-ending trail of cookie crumbs in her living room, and suffering through too many episodes of SpongeBob SquarePants; all while working from home. More About Dana.
Contact: thedanafilesblog [at] gmail [dot] com RSS Feed
