January 29, 2008
Remote Out of Control
The local cable company has a royal service called On Demand that allows one to click buttons on the remote to watch certain shows whenever The Viewer desires.
The Viewer, also known as Dawson the Terrible, dictates which of his twelve favorite shows he’d like to watch on a daily basis.
The Viewer typically starts out with SpongeBob, moves over to Diego, followed by Dora, then The Backyardigans, and finally The Barnyard.
The Viewer has developed extra sensory skills that alert him when a show is in it’s last five minutes and he shouts to his servants, “I want to watch Stawbob again! Servant Number One, put on Strawbob!”
And so, Servant Number One obeys the command and manipulates the remote control to work it’s programming magic.
Last night, Servant Number Two got a wild hair on her ass and scanned the channels while The Viewer was watching SpongeBob at it’s regularly scheduled airtime.
This did not please The Viewer, for he feared the servant would change channels without his consent. The Viewer quickly bolted from his throne and confiscated the remote control from the disobedient servant.
“Do not touch that ‘mote, Servant! The Viewer does not like when thy servant uses the ‘mote with out his permission. Doth thou understandeth?”
“Yes, Master Viewer. Thy remote control is yours,” said Servant Number Two, as she bowed before her pint-sized ruler.
Servant Number Two is planning to accidentally lose the remote control for good.
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January 29th, 2008 at 8:21 AM, Lisa Milton Says:
Servant Number Two is wise. The Viewer shouldn’t bogart the ‘mote.
(My six year old has taken to the DVR, taping crap. He’s grown dangerous with his remote power…)
January 29th, 2008 at 8:26 AM, Dana Says:
Girl, I feel your pain. These kids these days with their luxuries.
When I was a kid, we didn’t have a VCR — not until 1989 (maybe even 1990). Years after they first came out. My father told us to play outside. Now the kids today can DVR and do all that….yikes!
January 29th, 2008 at 1:29 PM, mammacheryl Says:
I told Ben yesterday that I couldn’t put on Cars because I didn’t have the remotes. He brought me one, and I told him I needed the other one, too. He went straight to the living room dresser, reached up (he can’t see the top), and felt for the remote. He brought them both to me, beaming. Stinker.
January 29th, 2008 at 1:31 PM, dana Says:
Oooh…smarty pants!
January 29th, 2008 at 4:31 PM, Wisconsin Mommy Says:
Ah yes – we too have the aptly named On DEMAND (and demand they do!) In our house it is the PBS Sprout channel – Dragon Tales, Caliou, etc. At first I thought it was the greatest invention ever…I have since reconsidered.
January 29th, 2008 at 7:54 PM, Leslie Says:
We had On Demand at our old place. Have you ever tried the karaoke on there? Julia and I used to do karaoke all the time! They even have kids songs. It was awesome. I kind of miss it. *sniff*
As far as the remote, you’re so much nicer than me. If Julia whines about changing the channel or what she wants to watch, I tell her, “If what’s on T.V. is that important to you, you’re watching too much.” Then, I turn it off. Once she is otherwise occupied, I watch what I want.