October 1, 2007
Orange
“Would you like to wear red shoes or blue shoes?” I ask my two-year old, dangling the options in front of him.
“Orange!” he chirps with a smile.
“Orange wasn’t a choice. Red or blue?”
“Orange!”
The orange shoes: our family’s participation in the rampant Crocs trend. At some point during the summer, my son’s appreciation of them blossomed into a full-blown crush. No matter the weather, no matter the outfit, they are the only shoes he wants to wear.
On this particular morning, I make the choice for him, lacing on blue sneakers once he is trapped in his car seat. As soon as he comes home from daycare that evening, he makes a beeline to his true love. “Hi, orange shoes!” he coos. He’s thrilled to be reunited.
The next morning he issues a pre-emptive strike. Before I’ve even lifted him from the crib, he makes his wishes known.
“Orange!” he declares. “Shoes,” he carefully adds, making sure to close any possible loophole.
I appeal to the seasons. “Sweetie, the orange shoes are summer shoes. Summer is over. It is too cold to wear the orange shoes. Your feet will be cold.”
He considers that. “Socks,” he says firmly.
It’s not about the weather, of course. Autumn has only just begun, and he is right that socks with sandals (ack!) would keep him plenty warm. It’s about me—me and my vanity. In the summer sunshine the neon orange was cheerful and fun, the perfect finishing note to his brightly colored outfits. But with the sky turning grey and summer colors giving way to the drabness of fall, they’ve become a clear fashion liability. I worry what people will think of me. I want people to see my child in his affordable-yet-charming outfit and think I’m a good mom. A mom with taste and a touch of style. A mom whose child is always appropriately dressed. A mom who has her life (and her child) under control. A mom who doesn’t lose battles over a pair of shoes.
Before I became a parent, I said I would never quench my children’s creativity. I would encourage self-expression; I would never impose my own ideas. I would value them as individuals, not merely extensions of myself. I was also determined that they would always be impeccably dressed. I somehow never saw the obvious conflict headed my way.
I’m learning that becoming the parent I hope to be means not seeing every choice of his as a reflection on me. I want to be able to look at whatever weirdness and uniqueness and creativeness he comes up with in the coming years with an honest smile, saying, “That’s my son.” No matter what the rest of the world thinks. Letting him become whoever he wants to be means I must let go. And thanks to the inherent grace of parenting, I am allowed to start small. Tomorrow it may be going goth or bucking college to ‘find himself.’ Today it’s just a tiny pair of mismatched orange shoes.
So on this day I tell him, “Of course you can wear the orange shoes.” We head off to the library for story time. It’s a windy, rainy day—coats have been pulled out of closets and sweaters donned. My son’s scuffed sandals get a few curious looks as we enter. I check my resolve.
At the end of the songs and stories, the children crowd around the librarian to have their hands stamped. I lose track of my son, his generic shirt and jeans blending in with all the rest. Then I think to look down. In an instant I find his cheerful orange feet working their way though the jumble of look-alike brown and blue shoes. I watch the orange shoes’ tiny dance of joy when his hand is stamped, see them turn to run back to me and jump into my arms. “That’s my son,” I think with a smile.
Maybe standing out isn’t such a bad thing after all.
———-
Courtesy of the Blog Exchange, today’s post is from Heather—mom to one, wife to one, friend to dozens. She’s embarrassed to admit that she spends this much time thinking about her child’s shoes. You can usually find her blogging it out at Production, Not Reproduction. Be sure to click here for Dana’s post on this month’s theme: Orange or Black.
Posted by Dana @ 6:39 AM • Blog Exchange
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October 1st, 2007 at 7:37 AM, Dawn Says:
I love it
October 1st, 2007 at 8:40 AM, dana Says:
Heather, I think this is so cute! I haven’t bought a pair of Crocs for Dawson yet. He’s so clumsy, I’m afraid one of the shoes will fall off and he’ll kill his ankle!
October 1st, 2007 at 9:10 AM, FishyGirl Says:
Nice take on the topic, Heather! Though I have to admit, I am grateful my kids all have narrow feet and can’t wear those croc things
October 1st, 2007 at 9:24 AM, chelle Says:
hehe we went to the library with cat ears on …. I try not to crush the creativity either. It is a tough balance at times.
October 1st, 2007 at 9:38 AM, patois Says:
I was hoping the orange shoes would win out!
October 1st, 2007 at 11:50 AM, Laura Lohr : My Beautiful Life Says:
Awww, how sweet!
I have to admit that I was rooting for the orange shoes too, although I am not the greatest fan of crocs!
October 1st, 2007 at 12:22 PM, Heather Says:
Yay for the orange Crocs! My daughter had some sparkly pink shoes that she loved. It was harmless to let her wear them, and she got so many comliments!
Good for you for letting him indulge in his shoe love.
October 1st, 2007 at 12:36 PM, Heather.PNR Says:
Thanks, everyone! I’m glad the orange shoes won out, too.
October 1st, 2007 at 1:52 PM, Julie Says:
My mom’s advice to me (which was her mother-in-law’s advice to her) was to say yes whenever you can. I like that and figure I’ll use it often when Evan gets older and wants to wear his backpack on the front or sandals in winter.
October 1st, 2007 at 1:57 PM, jodi Says:
What a lovely post!
And I have to learn to pick battles with my two year old as well, who wants to wear pajama everywhere.
October 1st, 2007 at 3:13 PM, Jenn Says:
oh, this is gorgeous!! here’s to letting them be themselves (says the mom whose baby has yet to want to pick her own clothes…) and letting the kids win a few
October 1st, 2007 at 5:55 PM, Soccer Mom in Denial Says:
Could you talk to my mother? She’s starting to complain that my daughter’s mismatched outfits are “offending her”.
Gives you a sense of my childhood no?
But your son’s love of orange Crocs (I don’t like them either) are about him, not you!! You are a terrific mom for recognizing that.
October 1st, 2007 at 6:13 PM, Jerseygirl89 Says:
This is why I’m glad Ironflower only goes to school two days a week – the clothing anxiety is going to drive me insane when she goes everyday!
October 1st, 2007 at 11:19 PM, Donetta Says:
Thats my boy! It is good to be real and vibrant and full of life. Enjoy your boy!
October 2nd, 2007 at 12:56 PM, 2shews Says:
My son’s are bright yellow. And he wants to wear them everywhere. He looks like a little duck– and I can always find him. This made me smile!
October 2nd, 2007 at 3:28 PM, Suebob Says:
I think crocs are so cute on kids. On adults, not so much.