September 27, 2007
Have Breasts, Will Nurse
Nearly four years ago, when I was pregnant with Dawson, I made the wise decision to breastfeed my baby. In all honesty, I did so because my mother breastfed her four children and I just assumed that was the right thing to do.
In my third trimester I began to research the benefits of nursing. I discovered that my breast milk was like the milk of the gods, and it would nourish my baby better than formula. I learned about colostrum and the antibodies in breast milk, and I was really happy when I read that nursing sheds those extra pregnancy pounds a bit faster.
After my son was born I realized how difficult nursing was. I was clumsy. I had flat nipples. I couldn’t hold my baby and figure out how to make that nipple pop out and achieve a proper latch-on.
I grew frustrated and spent many hours in the hospital trying, failing and crying. But I did not give up. I like to believe this is because I’m not a quitter, no matter how many times I was tempted to dry up the milk machines and switch to a powder formula.
In truth, I didn’t give up because I cared about the baby I just delivered and I felt it was my obligation to at least try. (I am not by any means telling other mothers they have to do what I did, I’m just sharing my reasoning with you for the purpose of this post.)
Before I could leave the hospital, the lactation nurse made me show her that I could breastfeed. I was very insecure and nervous and I just couldn’t do it. She tried to tell me I wouldn’t be able to go home until I could do it. I became very upset and lied to her.
“I’m going to use formula,” I said. “Hook me up with a free sample or whatever.”
I would have said anything just to go home and try to nurse in peace, without all those busy nurses hovering over me. Two days postpartum and already I’m seen as unfit, I thought.
When I got home, the struggle was still there. I tried to use a nipple shield to feed my crying, hungry baby. After several hours I gave up and called my friend who was nursing her seven month old.
“Help me,” I said. “Please just help me, show me, or whatever.”
I was desperate, and my friend could sense this and she came over minutes later with her daughter.
She unhooked her nursing bra and showed me exactly how she got her daughter to latch on. It was all I needed and moments later, Dawson latched on for the first time. I cried tears of joy. Tears flowed for several minutes as I felt what was happening. I watched my child sucking at my breast and nothing could have made me any happier. I heard him swallow and knew that he was being nourished.
All those crazy nurses, trying to show me different methods was such a waste of time. I was so grateful to my friend for helping me with my struggle.
I never nursed in public for fear of people staring at me. I was afraid of the dirty looks and the hurtful words, and I was insecure about my ability to quickly whip out my breast and feed a hungry baby.
I managed to nurse for four months and then pumped for two more.
When I went back to work my milk supply started to lessen, due to the erratic pumping times. I was so busy at work and the pressure I felt to “get back into work mode” made it difficult to keep up. My baby began to prefer the bottle over the breast. At the end of six months I switched to formula.
I felt guilty. I was angry. I felt like I was forced into a decision I wasn’t ready to make.
When I think about all the crap nursing moms take regarding breastfeeding, my head spins like Linda Blair’s in The Exorcist.
We’re not supposed to nurse in public. We’re not supposed to post photos of ourselves nursing because it offends others. We’re expected to feed our babies in a bathroom because other people may lose their appetite if we accidentally show our boob in a restaurant.
We’re supposed to apologize because other people are uncomfortable with breasts.
Well I say, “Fuck that and fuck you,” to those people.
Those people who have a problem with breasts used as nourishment for a baby need to seek therapy. You’ve got your heads on backwards my friends, and I highly suggest you rethink your idea of what a breast’s intended use is. Especially you, Bill Maher. My tits may look like pleasure pillows to you, but these beauties fed my baby and will feed any future babies I may have. Get over it.
I’m sick and tired of being told what to do, how to do it, where to do it and who to be careful not to offend.
It’s because of society’s fucked up view on breastfeeding that I was so insecure about my ability to nurse my baby.
I have expressed my views on this subject before. But when will the criticism toward nursing moms end? When will we stop being snubbed and ridiculed and attacked and judged? WHEN?
Oh, and Facebook? Suck my tit:
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September 27th, 2007 at 12:05 pm, Big Nipples Blog » Blog Archive » Have Breasts, Will Nurse Says:
[...] post by nipples - Google News and software by Elliott [...]
September 27th, 2007 at 1:32 pm, Miss Says:
I love you!
I went through the same thing when I first had my son. Its scary, and hard, and those nurses JUDGE the crap outta you.
September 27th, 2007 at 2:39 pm, mammacheryl Says:
Absolutely adore you. Ben never could latch on well. We tried for four days until he finally had to be admitted to the hospital for… get this… malnutrition and failure to thrive. Yeah. That makes a new mom feel great. So I became a champion pumper with enough milk to feed two babies. Hopefully little Anna and I will get the hang of actually latching onto the breast. My life would be so much easier.
September 27th, 2007 at 2:42 pm, Dana Says:
Miss, it is difficult, and I think the nurses are so pushy and it makes a new mom feel like she has to rush and do everything like they say so. I could not stand that. If and when I have my next child, I’ll know better than to take that crap!
Cheryl, I think everything will work in your favor. You have all the knowledge from when Ben was born, so that helps. Not to say it will be the same, but I think nursing will be successful!
September 27th, 2007 at 3:06 pm, Dawn Says:
Right on, sister. I have my post written, I just need to let it sit for a bit so I’m sure that I’m saying it right. I had the nursing nazi in my hospital too. Made the mistake of saying all was well on the right but difficult on the left. That bitch was so up in my grill - she left to go find… whatever and I begged Alex to do it just for me, told him this was his first lesson in humoring stupid people. And he DID it.
Medela Month Five.
September 27th, 2007 at 6:34 pm, Rocks In My Dryer Says:
You tell ‘em. The whole thing chaps my hide. Or my booby, as it were.
September 27th, 2007 at 7:31 pm, TB Says:
I don’t know why I just assumed because breastfeeding was natural it would be easy. I can see why so many women give up after a week or two, but it’s so worth it to stick it out. Good for you for not quitting.
September 27th, 2007 at 9:31 pm, Dana Says:
Thanks TB!
September 28th, 2007 at 9:00 am, Fat Chick Says:
I’ve been learning so much on this topic and I think it’s great what current mothers are doing for us potential future mothers.
You’re wonderful hun! Thanks for sharing your story and for the warning on the “Nursing Nazi Squad”.
Hugs,
~ FC
P.S. I put up a ‘Facebook Sucks’ button on my “My Space” page.
September 28th, 2007 at 9:25 am, tanilan Says:
I admire you. I didn’t breastfeed, but sometimes I wish I had of at least tried.
Critics of breastfeeding in public should be kicked in the teeth. They don’t want to you feeding in public, but they sure can oogle the girls at Hooters. They can be complete asses about feeding a child who is screaming because he’s hungry; and in the same breath, want you to do something with your screaming kid.
Thanks for standing up and telling them where to go.
September 29th, 2007 at 4:30 pm, Violet the Verbose Says:
Speak it, sister! I had a nurse in the hospital tell me that Sweet Pea was starving the day after she was born, because I had been so selfish to take a shower (during which I nearly fell down from exhaustion) after three days of labor, and when I came out the baby was crying. I wish they would teach doctors and nurses something about bedside manner, because seriously, I don’t think they do. I’ve had so many asshat comments from medical professionals; many of them just don’t seem to think before they speak.
October 3rd, 2007 at 5:15 am, Alex Year One » Blog Archive » Semi Naked Blogging Says:
[...] about your experiences has given me the courage to try nursing again. (This one was the last one I read before feeling brave enough to try [...]
October 3rd, 2007 at 4:19 pm, Leslie Says:
I had a difficult time learning to nurse Julia in the hospital, too. The judgemental nurses. The pressure. The lactation consultant at the hopsital was a Godsend, though. My husband grabbed her at the end of her shift one night and begged her (he may have even bribed her) to sit with me. After an hour of very supportive advice, Julia had latched on. Still, that didn’t stop the doctors and nurses from suggesting that I formula feed first, then breastfeed - to make sure she got enough. I never gave her formula.
I breastfed Julia until her third birthday. If you think people can be nuts about breastfeeding moms, you should see them go crazy over extended breastfeeding. Even some breastfeeding mothers I know criticized me for that choice, telling me it was unnatural to breastfeed that long.
There are times when you’ve just got to ignore what other people say and follow your instincts. Maybe that’s why a mother’s instincts are so powerful.
March 10th, 2008 at 11:07 pm, Alex Year One » Talkin’ About My Boobies! Says:
[...] about your experiences has given me the courage to try nursing again. (This one was the last one I read before feeling brave enough to try [...]
October 15th, 2008 at 10:27 am, vikki Says:
my son had a collapsed lung,so he was taken from me soon aftr birth.He was bottle fed by the nurses and wouldnt have it any other way afterward,I cried in the hospital too with no success changing him to breast.The nurse was very kind to me.She hugged me when she saw tears.I did however successfully breast feed the next 2 babies.I have to respectfully disagree with 2 posts on this subject.Dana,I’ve sat on both sides of the table regarding babies in restaurants.When I have the luxury of dining out,that is my haven “away” from the baby scene.If it’s an upper scale eatery then I honestly dont wish to be seated next to a Mother with a poncho draped all over nursing and burping a baby while I try and enjoy a little me time with my husband.No reason the feeding cant be done prior.And in regards to nursing beyond baby years,I one saw a boy about 4 come sit on his mothers lap and start nursing.It made me sick! it looked highly abnormal.Maybe its me,Im sorry but if a mother wants to continue the nourishment scenario,then by all means,use a pump and pour it in a sippy cup.