September 11, 2007
September 11, 2001 – The Names
There’s music playing – its rhythm is slow and solemn, like the beat of a broken heart – a moment of silence breaks into the sadness, as the hour turns dark and the names of strangers are carried on the wind.
I hear them all and try to focus on every syllable – but, I cannot watch.
Voices are broken – shattered to pieces and lost among the tears – but, I listen and try to ignore the pain, fearing the smallest interruption in thought as nothing less than an injustice.
There are so many names – male, female, officers, citizens – a bell tolls, as they continue remembering and move on in the alphabet.
They are only on the letter B.
Someone is speaking now – remembering her brother and his wonderful barbecued chicken – the family never stops thinking of him. Every day. Every month. Every year. They miss him.
A man is speaking of community, now.
He quotes that “No man is an island,” – how appropriate and terribly sad – the names keep coming. On and on they are quietly read by friends, lovers, sisters, brothers and colleagues.
I think I see their faces.
A mother begins to cry and I feel as if I can’t hold on, any longer – my head is starting to hurt – but, I continue to listen, to imagine and to mourn.
They’re on the letter C, now.
The same surname has just been read four times and I can’t help and think – I hope they weren’t related. But, then again, it doesn’t matter. They are joined together, now. In eternal peace and in memory.
Another fire fighter is remembered – and another – so many!
The names are beginning to run together – another fire fighter and brother – but, I listen and wait for, well, I don’t know what. The goosebumps to stop, perhaps?
Please, stop.
Oh God, this man is assuring his friend – a police or port authority officer, I think – that he is missed and that his wife is doing a wonderful job of raising their baby, now much more grown and still loving him.
I think of my youngest child – 2 months old, at the time – and how scared I was for her, my 3 year-old son, and my two oldest daughters. I remember calling their school – they were in kindergarten and 1st grade – wondering if my babies were safe and needing to hold them.
Later, the children were released – the teachers wearily handing off each and every one – we stayed behind to be sure that everyone had someone to hug.
No one could speak.
The skies turned quiet and I can still remember the strong smell of death – it is beyond disgusting – as the nightmare unfolded not too far from our own backyards.
We drove to the waterfront – as so many of our neighbors did, that day – and the skyline looked positively alien. What was once bright and shiny, was now black. Nothing more than that. Not much has changed.
They are on the letter D, now.
I hear the music, again – but, have grown accustomed its quiet lull – it doesn’t hurt so much, now. No peace, though. Still. I want to forgive. But, will never forget.
September 11, 2001 – forever
The names continue.
Liz Thompson lives and writes in New Jersey – clean off a chair and feel free to sit down – you can visit with her at This Full House.
Posted by Liz@thisfullhouse @ 8:52 am • Uncategorized
RSS feed for comments on this post.
TrackBack URI
September 11th, 2007 at 9:09 am, This Full House » September 11, 2001 - The Names Says:
[...] September 11, 2007 September 11, 2001 – The Names Filed under: Then, I Write — Liz @ 7:08 am I’m guest-blogging for my dear friend, Dana – join me at The Dana Files in remembering September 11, 2001 – The Names. [...]
September 11th, 2007 at 9:48 am, Ree Says:
Thank you.
September 11th, 2007 at 9:58 am, dana Says:
Liz, this is beautiful and brilliant and so painfully honest. Thank you for writing this memorial. And thank you for guest blogging! -hugs- I owe you big time!
September 11th, 2007 at 10:22 am, MsRebecca Says:
Thank you for this, beautifully written.
September 11th, 2007 at 10:29 am, Jenna Says:
Liz; I think this ranks as one of my favorite posts of all time. Thank you, today and always.
September 11th, 2007 at 1:14 pm, Believer in Balance Says:
A beautiful tribute to a horrifying day in our history.
September 11th, 2007 at 2:54 pm, Alex Year One » Blog Archive » Just a normal day. Says:
[...] The Dana Files/This Full House – who smelled New York [...]
September 11th, 2007 at 4:42 pm, Mary Alice Says:
That was beautifully written. I echo your words and sentiment – “I want to forgive, but will never forget”
September 11th, 2007 at 5:46 pm, Mrs. Flinger Says:
Liz, this made me cry. Thank you for a wonderful post and for sharing that day with us.
September 12th, 2007 at 9:48 am, Elizabeth Says:
Beautiful, Liz. A perfect post.
September 12th, 2007 at 12:40 pm, Amber Says:
Beautiful tribute from a fantastic gal!
September 11th, 2008 at 12:51 am, Just a normal day | Alex Year Two Says:
[...] The Dana Files/This Full House – who smelled New York [...]