August 7, 2007
Always the Devoted Catholic
There’s been talk. A discussion. About having another baby.
I’ve been touching on this subject and then altogether avoiding it, back and forth, for months.
I do want another child. And for awhile, I knew the timing wasn’t right. There was always something that got in the way of actually getting down to business. (Like a child who sleeps in his parents’ bed — clever pun, yes?)
I’ve been making excuses for this situation forever. First, it was my new job (I’ve been working at Avada for seven months now), and then it was all the bills that needed paying, and then I said I wanted to lose a bunch of weight before getting pregnant, and then I said that I wanted to wait until Dawson was potty-trained, and then I realized I’m out of excuses.
So, Doug and I have been unofficially trying. Also known as the “whatever happens, happens” method, and so far no luck. I was kind of happy about this because I didn’t want to be pregnant at BlogHer. But now I’m kind of frustrated that I’m not magically pregnant.
Granted it’s never been easy for me to conceive (it took three years to get pregnant with Dawson).
The other day, I was on the phone with my mother and she made her usual statement that I shouldn’t wait too long to have another baby because then my kids will be too far apart and they won’t bond or they’ll fight constantly or something or other. I usually tune her out at this point. (Sorry Mom. I do. It’s too much stress.)
And finally I got frustrated and said, “Well what the hell am I supposed to do? Write a letter to my ovaries, demanding they release a viable egg? Or maybe I should write a letter to Doug’s sperm, including a mapquest map with directions to my freakin’ fallopian tubes?”
To which my sweet, Catholic mother replied, “Nooooooo….you should write a letter to GOD!”
How does she do that?
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August 7th, 2007 at 10:16 am, Cheryl Says:
Good luck sweetie. Here’s hoping for conception!
August 7th, 2007 at 10:20 am, Dana Says:
Thank you! We’ll see what happens! Maybe I’ll start writing that letter.
August 7th, 2007 at 10:39 am, motherofbun Says:
Your mom sounds like my mom.
And contrary to what your mom is saying, I know plenty of people (there’s five families just in my ‘hood) whose kids are 5-8 years apart. And their kids get along great! According to these moms, their kids fight less because they are farther apart. And the younger siblings really admire the older ones.
And actually at Bunko? The moms who’ve spaced their kids out are the ones who aren’t so emotionally “fried”. They are able to enjoy the gathering.
I think those chickies are onto something. So even tho we’ve been trying for quite some time,(and my son is 5) I’m seeing from these other moms that maybe a large space between kids is best for our family. (IF we ever have a second one.)
I’m not trying to be all cranky in regards to your mom. I’m just trying to let you know that if you have children spaced farther apart it won’t be such a bad thing.
August 7th, 2007 at 10:51 am, dana Says:
Lisa, I know what you mean. And I know you aren’t cranking on my mom.
She means well, I know this.
I think three years is a great space for children, and if I conceived tomorrow, my kids would be just under 4 years apart.
I do know we can’t wait forever, because my husband is pushing forty and he doesn’t want to be “an old dad”.
I hope it all works out for you AND me!!
August 7th, 2007 at 11:04 am, Debbie Says:
Good luck with trying!!!
I know what you mean about excuses…I have hit this point. I want 4 kids, but I’m totally comfortable not going through the pregnancy and baby thing again. But like you, I believe I’m out of excuses.
August 7th, 2007 at 11:20 am, dana Says:
Thank you, Debbie! I need all the luck I can get. And I hope the right decision comes to you, too! It’s amazing how many women are in the same boat I am!
August 7th, 2007 at 11:46 am, LawyerMama Says:
Ooh, man. We’re having the baby debate too but I’m not quite ready for 3 so I’m still coming up with excuses. Good luck to you!
August 7th, 2007 at 12:11 pm, dana Says:
LawyerMama, thank you! I hope the luck works!
And I hope all goes well for you in that department, too!
August 7th, 2007 at 12:24 pm, Violet the Verbose Says:
I have to say that I giggled a lot during the second half of your post. I love your sense of humor. The idea of writing letters to body parts demanding that they do what they’re supposed to do is hilarious. And I thought your mom’s response was funny too. I just love how you’re dealing with this. I know what it feels like to have to wait for your body and to wonder why it’s taking so long, though, and I know that gets to be not fun after a while. So I hope that things do work out for you and Doug soon. As for the spacing of children - don’t you just want to scream when people imply that it’s all up to you, and you’ve dropped the ball? So many people just have zero idea what it’s like to have a body that doesn’t produce children on demand. Yeesh.
August 7th, 2007 at 12:29 pm, dana Says:
Caroline, the craziest part is that I’m funny as a clown when I’m frustrated! And my poor Mom was only trying to help and I get all loopy on her!
I believe it will all work out in the end, but I sure hope sooner than later!
August 7th, 2007 at 12:36 pm, Leslie Says:
Good luck to you! We’re trying for number two, too. Who knew getting pregnant could be so hard? To think I spent all those years trying NOT to get pregnant.
August 7th, 2007 at 12:51 pm, Julie Says:
It’s weird to me to think about writing a letter to God about sex, which is basically what a letter about conceiving a baby would be, right? It’s weird for me even to think about things like sperm and God in the same thought. And now I’ve put them in the same sentence. I guess we know I’m not Catholic.
Anyway, good luck!
August 7th, 2007 at 1:03 pm, dana Says:
Leslie, good luck to you, too! I’ve never had to worry about not getting pregnant, so I guess I got jipped twice. Heh.
Julie, I’m sorry to put God and sex in the same post. I guess that does show I am Catholic, eh?
August 7th, 2007 at 2:42 pm, Wisconsin Mommy Says:
Ironically, my hubby does not get along with the two siblings closest to his age. But he gets along great with his oldest sister (twelve years older than he is).
August 7th, 2007 at 2:50 pm, Dana Says:
Sounds familiar! My brother is 12 years younger than me and we get along better, than our two siblings in the middle of us.
August 7th, 2007 at 6:43 pm, kailani Says:
After our first daughter, it took us 3 years of trying before Baby Bug was conceived. Along the way, people kept pressuring us about having more kids. What they don’t know is that the added pressure has a negative effect on conception.
Don’t worry, you’ll get pregnant when the time is right.
August 10th, 2007 at 6:36 am, Embarrassing Sex Moment Says:
[...] material. And it’s hilarious. And something I could never post at my own blog because my Catholic mother reads me even though she denies [...]
November 4th, 2007 at 11:39 am, The Dana Files » Embarrassing Sex Moment Says:
[...] material. And it’s hilarious. And something I could never post at my own blog because my Catholic mother reads me even though she denies [...]