August 2, 2007
BlogHer Conference Breakout Sessions: Identity and Body Image
The headache I had Friday morning, or Day One of BlogHer, was terribly painful! After a night of fabulouse cocktail parties, my brain was tired! But I popped four Advil and made my way to the Grand Ballroom on Navy Pier.
It was amazing. Seven hundred women in one facility, there to learn, to share and to connect with other women.
I brought my lap top along but there really wasn’t any time to blog.
Listening to Lisa, Elisa and Jory speak was empowering. They were so genuine and inspiring and wonderful. I struggle with the right words because it was my emotions I was most tuned into. I couldn’t even focus long enough to take notes! My thoughts were overwhelming:
I can’t believe I get to witness this! It’s unreal!
I’m here, at a conference with mostly women, and we share a common bond – blogging!!!
How much better could it get?
It did get better. I had never experienced anything like that before. It’s extremely difficult to sort through all the jumbled thoughts about the conference and I’ve been struggling for days.
In fact, I only wrote about my travel struggles to give me more time to write coherently about the conference. (Okay, and? I promised Morra I’d record my Greyhound adventure.)
After the welcome session, it was off to my first breakout session. I joined in with the Digital Exhibitionists discussion and it was definitely a learning experience.
While I didn’t make it on time to get my goody bag of dildos (and anyway, we all know now what’s in my goody drawer at home), I did learn that talking about who we are and what we represent is a good thing.
It’s okay to be a sex blogger, a mommyblogger, or a weight-loss blogger. If it defines who we are there is no sense in hiding it.
This panel was full of great discussion about privacy and identity and sharing with the world what we write about. I can’t seem to find a recap on this panel, so you’ll have to take my word for it when I tell you it was great!
The second breakout session I attended was Our Bodies, Our Blogs and Wendy McClure was inspirational in her discussion about obesity and society’s expectations about weight. It felt wonderful to hear other bloggers stand up and say, “Yes, I’m fat and I’ve come to accept this about myself.”
It wasn’t in a self-deprecating way, either. I mean what’s the opposite of skinny? Naturally the word that comes to mind is fat. And people, all people have fat on their bodies. Some more than others. This panel really encouraged me to be more accepting of my body and how I look and to make changes if I’m unhappy. It’s not about what others think or say. It’s about how I feel and what I think.
There was talk about the pressure of trying to conform to the air-brushed images we see in magazines, movies and television. One recent example is when Redbook air-brushed Faith Hill’s photo on the cover of their magazine.
Another example is the move Little Miss Sunshine. Little Olive is standing before a mirror sucking in her belly because the other contestants are little Jean-Benet look-alikes. It sickens me to think about all the girls, LITTLE GIRLS, who already have body image issues at such young ages.
And these images are blatant misrepresentations of what women, REAL WOMEN, look like. Real women have breasts of all shapes and sizes. Real women have bellies large and small. We have hips and asses. We have thighs. And we are beautiful for who we are, no matter what our size or shape.
I could go on for days about how infuriating it is to see rail-thin women on the cover of vogue with their rib cages showing. But I know every woman feels the same way. You all know how maddening it is to see women going to great lengths (anorexia, bulimia, eating only grapes) to be thin.
And on the other hand, we have women like myself, who struggle day in and day out with weight. I’m overweight.
There I’ve said it. I AM OVERWEIGHT.
At one time I wasn’t. And the pounds on my body rise and fall constantly. I can’t seem lose all the weight I think I need to lose. And perhaps it’s because of my own distorted body-image issues.
As someone who goes to the gym, tries her best to eat healthy and think positively about herself, I still can’t seem to drop all the extra pounds. Even after having a baby, I’m still holding on to that extra padding.
I’ve listened as doctors suggested alternative weight loss methods (Gastric bypass, anyone? Or maybe Liposuction?) I became angrier! When are physicians going to listen to the facts and then prescribe a solution?
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been diagnosed with Poly-Cystic Ovarian Syndrome, what I consider the catch-all diagnosis of women’s health struggles, such as fibroids, infertility, obesity, thyroid issues, etc. It’s bullshit.
And I didn’t even know where to begin to make it all better. Until I started blogging. Just writing about my thoughts has given me the strength to make some changes. I feel empowered. I feel ready to change doctors until I get the answers I need. I feel ready to take on any challenge that comes my way.
But most importantly, I’ve learned to accept myself for who I am both inside and out.
Posted by Dana @ 10:38 am • BlogHer, Body Image, Conferences, Health, Wellness, Fitness, Exercise, Uncategorized
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August 2nd, 2007 at 12:36 pm, yoshi Says:
I think accepting oneself is very important. I really do think that once you accept who you are and what you want to do about it, you can really be happy. And it’s not confidence or an ego boost or anything like that. Sometimes it’s just so hard to explain. But once you accept, I think things are easier for you. It’s almost… karmic. I don’t know.
I could just be blabbering too. I’m good at that. Oh, and i’m a guy, so really what would i know right?
August 2nd, 2007 at 12:54 pm, LawyerMama Says:
Hear hear! I actually had a fascinating conversation about body image with my BlogHer roommate at the airport on the way home. Why do we torture ourselves with unrealistic expectations? I’ve stopped doing it, if I ever really did, and it makes a world of difference. Loving yourself, being comfortable in your own skin, is so much more important than becoming a walking stick.
Great post!
August 2nd, 2007 at 1:14 pm, dana Says:
Yoshi, Thanks for the great advice! It hits home to hear others agree with me, perhaps I am working in the right direction.
Lawyer Mama, thank you. I’d love to hear more of your thoughts. It’s true. We do torture ourselves with these ridiculous visions of thinness and for what?
I know it always makes me feel worse about myself when I focus on these unattainable goals of being a size 2 because all the super models are!
August 2nd, 2007 at 2:25 pm, Cheryl Says:
Yay for self acceptance. For years, I wasn’t body conscious until I saw myself in pictures. Then I didn’t recognize myself. Sure, I knew I had gone up several sizes, but I didn’t really care. I had lots of energy and I was happy. Now that I have kids, the extra weight feels like it’s holding me back from what I would rather be doing… like having the energy to chase after the little ones. How the hell did I manage to get a hundred pounds overweight anyway? Beats the eff out of me. Anyway. I’m stuck in the pregnancy limbo right now where I can’t really do much about my weight besides try to change my eating habits.
Even when I’m done being pregnant, I hope I don’t get all psycho in my attempts to slim down. I’ve always tried to be very positive about myself, no matter what state I find myself in.
August 2nd, 2007 at 3:22 pm, Dana Says:
Cheryl, I think we need to start a support group for moms with extra pounds. It’s tough out there alone! I know you’ll do your best to be happy with your weight. I try to do that, too. Way easier said than done, though!
August 2nd, 2007 at 3:47 pm, Mama Zen Says:
I still haven’t gotten over the Redbook thing. In a world where the REAL Faith Hill is not thought to be good enough, no wonder women drive themselves crazy!
August 2nd, 2007 at 4:37 pm, Dana Says:
Mama Zen, you’ve said it! To the point. Now wonder we are always saying we hate the way we look!
August 3rd, 2007 at 12:08 am, Leslie Says:
Wow, what great sessions! Cheryl’s comment could have been my own - weight really crept up on me. It isn’t an issue until it keeps me from doing something - like riding a kiddie ride with Julia at the amusement park. Still, that extra bit of me shouldn’t be a measurement of what I’m worth. It doesn’t make me more or less of who I am.
August 3rd, 2007 at 8:49 am, Dana Says:
Exactly! We are still people, large or small and I think others forget that we have feelings!
August 3rd, 2007 at 12:16 pm, motherbumper Says:
Dead on Dana, excellent post. I’m glad I got a chance to meet you (although very briefly) and now I’ve had the pleasure of reading you - super awesome. Self-acceptance is key to success - regardless of how you measure it.
August 3rd, 2007 at 1:07 pm, Dana Says:
Motherbumper! So good to see you! And I’m so glad we met; and you’re right it was brief! But there’s always next year, right!
I’m still working on fully accepting my body image and it may take a bit of time, but the mere fact that I acknowlege it is a step in the right direction I think.
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