Comments on: Jumping the Hurdle http://thedanafiles.com/2007/06/12/jumping-the-hurdle/ Where Current Events Aren't Clouded By Baby Powder Tue, 02 Dec 2008 19:54:15 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.5.1 By: Nancy http://thedanafiles.com/2007/06/12/jumping-the-hurdle/#comment-20284 Nancy Wed, 13 Jun 2007 01:05:24 +0000 http://thedanafiles.com/2007/06/12/jumping-the-hurdle/#comment-20284 I think the silent expectations from my parents were one of the factors in me becoming such a perfectionist (although my mom says it was really innate from the beginning -- like when I learned to write and I took so long to scribe even one letter because I didn't want to make a mistake.) But, like you, I'm trying to give myself a little more leeway with motherhood. There is no 100% solution, it's not possible to be perfect, and I really do better when I don't push myself too hard or try to live up to others' expectations. And thanks for reminding me. :-) I think the silent expectations from my parents were one of the factors in me becoming such a perfectionist (although my mom says it was really innate from the beginning — like when I learned to write and I took so long to scribe even one letter because I didn’t want to make a mistake.)

But, like you, I’m trying to give myself a little more leeway with motherhood. There is no 100% solution, it’s not possible to be perfect, and I really do better when I don’t push myself too hard or try to live up to others’ expectations.

And thanks for reminding me. :-)

]]> By: Dana http://thedanafiles.com/2007/06/12/jumping-the-hurdle/#comment-20275 Dana Tue, 12 Jun 2007 22:47:53 +0000 http://thedanafiles.com/2007/06/12/jumping-the-hurdle/#comment-20275 Debbie, it's amazing how much we despise our own mother's attempts at parenting us in adulthood -- I hope I don't become as bad in the nagging dept. when my kids are older! Cheryl, I can only imagine the way your mom talks about religion. My parents never really nagged about that. Everything else? Yes. Leslie, thanks for the good advice! I am the best mother for Dawson! :) Debbie, it’s amazing how much we despise our own mother’s attempts at parenting us in adulthood — I hope I don’t become as bad in the nagging dept. when my kids are older!

Cheryl, I can only imagine the way your mom talks about religion. My parents never really nagged about that. Everything else? Yes.

Leslie, thanks for the good advice! I am the best mother for Dawson! :)

]]> By: Leslie http://thedanafiles.com/2007/06/12/jumping-the-hurdle/#comment-20254 Leslie Tue, 12 Jun 2007 15:26:19 +0000 http://thedanafiles.com/2007/06/12/jumping-the-hurdle/#comment-20254 It's true - the person you need to please first is yourself. There will always be someone out there that will disapprove of what you do and some people are never pleased. The best mother for your child is you. I have to remind myself of that when I get overloaded with advice or perceive that someone else is more equipped for this parenting thing than me. It’s true - the person you need to please first is yourself. There will always be someone out there that will disapprove of what you do and some people are never pleased.

The best mother for your child is you. I have to remind myself of that when I get overloaded with advice or perceive that someone else is more equipped for this parenting thing than me.

]]> By: Cheryl http://thedanafiles.com/2007/06/12/jumping-the-hurdle/#comment-20246 Cheryl Tue, 12 Jun 2007 12:59:30 +0000 http://thedanafiles.com/2007/06/12/jumping-the-hurdle/#comment-20246 Works for me. Luckily, my parents don't nag their adult children about choices. As long as we're contentedly employed and not living on welfare, they're happy. In school, as long as they could tell that we were interested in our school work and tried hard, the grades themselves didn't really matter. Where I fail my mother? I'm not a born-again Christian. Neither are any of her kids, and that upsets her a great deal. We used to get preachy lectures about it about once a month, but she's mellowed a bit and now it's usually once a year. I hate to disappoint her, but I have to be my own person and I'm not going to adhere to a faith simply because my mommy told me to. So it's my job now to prove to her that I'm still a good person and that I can raise polite, loving children. Works for me. Luckily, my parents don’t nag their adult children about choices. As long as we’re contentedly employed and not living on welfare, they’re happy. In school, as long as they could tell that we were interested in our school work and tried hard, the grades themselves didn’t really matter.

Where I fail my mother? I’m not a born-again Christian. Neither are any of her kids, and that upsets her a great deal. We used to get preachy lectures about it about once a month, but she’s mellowed a bit and now it’s usually once a year. I hate to disappoint her, but I have to be my own person and I’m not going to adhere to a faith simply because my mommy told me to. So it’s my job now to prove to her that I’m still a good person and that I can raise polite, loving children.

]]> By: Debbie http://thedanafiles.com/2007/06/12/jumping-the-hurdle/#comment-20241 Debbie Tue, 12 Jun 2007 12:38:03 +0000 http://thedanafiles.com/2007/06/12/jumping-the-hurdle/#comment-20241 My mother is the same way. I never felt like what I did was ever good enough. And she still continues on with the parenting things. She makes fun of things that try to do (like keep the kids clean) and tries to give me 27 year old advice (which of course has been proven to be wrong in the last 27 years). I don't know what happened, but having kids gave me self-confidence, and I'm no longer afraid to tell her "no" or to worry that I'm not meeting her expectations. My mother is the same way. I never felt like what I did was ever good enough. And she still continues on with the parenting things. She makes fun of things that try to do (like keep the kids clean) and tries to give me 27 year old advice (which of course has been proven to be wrong in the last 27 years). I don’t know what happened, but having kids gave me self-confidence, and I’m no longer afraid to tell her “no” or to worry that I’m not meeting her expectations.

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