May 13, 2007
Happy Mother’s Day
My little boy is four months away from three years old. I cannot describe the emotions I feel about the age of three. I never realized how fast it was approaching, until yesterday when Dawson told me he wanted a “big bulldozer birthday cake.”
Dawson has no idea when his birthday is, but he’s been obsessed with celebrating anyone’s birthday since his Auntie Rachel turned twenty-two. As his present, he practiced saying, “Happy Birr-day, Auntie Ray-cho!” and she loved every minute of it.
When my birthday rolled around two weeks later, Dawson had a field day. He yelled, “Happy Birr-day, Mumma!” all through the house. He was so excited to have some of the birthday cake he and his father bought for me, and he loved blowing out the candles.
My brother Frankie turned sixteen on April 17 and Dawson, true to form, practiced his celebratory greetings and wanted to help his uncle open his “peasants”.
And then it happened. Dawson looked me in the eye, shrugged his shoulder and said, “Dawson’s birr-day, too?”
I tried to explain that he was born in September and he had just a few more months to wait. He just stared at me, pretending to understand the news his mother was delivering. When my spiel was over he said, “Dawson’s birr-day now?”
To make things easier, we gave him a “birthday present” of fruit snacks and juice. Every day is Dawson’s birthday, now.
The child is smart. I admit it. He’s so smart he’s clever. At every grocery store trip he demands to stare at the birthday cakes in the bakery, pointing and suggesting which cake he’d like.
When we visit Target, he insists on looking at the toys and searching for “Dawson’s birr-day present.” So far it’s a tie between the Dinoco Lightning McQueen racecar and Bob the Builder’s Talking Scoop.
I don’t mind the upcoming birthday party, cake and presents. I just wish my baby wasn’t growing up. Gone are the days of infancy. The days of nursing and cuddling. No longer does he insist on being held by his mom.
Instead, he prefers to play in his sandbox, go to the park, go to the library and play with the neighbor’s kids.
He thinks his mom is boring. She hates getting muddy in puddles. She’s always telling him, “Be careful! Stop doing that! Watch out! No!”
When did he get so tall? When did he start talking so much? When did he start bossing me around?
I know exactly when these things happened. I’m just reluctant to acknowledge the fact that Dawson is growing up. Soon he’ll be in preschool, and kindergarten, and then one day I’ll wake up and he’ll be in high school.
It is so difficult to put these feelings into words.
I find myself yearning to hang onto my baby.
I often watch him sleep and gently tousle his hair. I sometimes bury my nose in his cheek, trying to remember that baby smell. I touch his little hands and feet, imagining how tiny they once were. As Dawson’s little belly rises and falls, with each little breath, I think about the first days at home after leaving the hospital.
I think about all those moments watching him sleep in his crib, making sure he was breathing properly, and worrying that he’d roll over onto his stomach. I remember all the nervous and awkward nursings, and fretting over whether he was getting enough milk. I reminisce all the time I spent wishing he’d get a little bigger and easier to take care of. And here I am, now, wishing he wasn’t so big.
It’s a funny thing, the motherhood business. One minute we’re anxious for our children to grow up, and the next moment we’re sad that our babies are no longer…babies.
This Mother’s Day, I find myself remembering so much about my Doodlebug. And I can’t help but think about his birth day as well as his birthday. I can enjoy those memories. They will always be with me. But, I need to make new memories, too, because in a few short months my my son will be three. And I’m positive in 5 years I’ll be aching for those toddler moments, too.
Happy Mother’s Day to all mothers, grandmothers, godmothers, aunts and special women in our lives.
Posted by Dana @ 9:50 AM • Uncategorized
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May 13th, 2007 at 1:57 PM, Leslie Says:
It seems like my life has been on fast-forward since Julia was born. I’m so proud of how she’s going, but UGH! Too fast!
Happy Mother’s Day!
May 13th, 2007 at 9:30 PM, wisconsin mommy Says:
I can so relate to your feelings. Liitle J turns 3 in July, and seems like such a big guy now! How was your trip to Milwaukee?? Hope you enjoyed our favorite stomping grounds!!
May 14th, 2007 at 11:08 AM, Janet a.k.a Wonder Mom Says:
Beautiful.
When SF turned 3 I just couldn’t believe how much of a little girls he became!!!
She grows more and more every second…Enjoy it all…it’s so much fun to watch.
May 14th, 2007 at 1:59 PM, motherofbun Says:
I so understand what you’re saying. BUt the good thing about little boys is that even as they grow, they still love their mamas. (I think that stops about 10-or 12 but for now I’m just gonna not think about that and enjoy it. heehee.)
Happy Belated Mom’s Day.
May 14th, 2007 at 2:40 PM, Dana Says:
I just wish I could hang onto my baby a little longer. Just a month more. Heh.