May 12, 2007

We’re Leaving Today…

It’s here!  Today we leave for our trip to the Milwaukee County Zoo.  The hotel reservation is set (and paid for) and I’ve packed Dawson’s and my bags for our overnight vacation.  My parents are joining us on our trip so it should be a great time.

I’m excited to get out of Dodge, but I’m sad to be leaving my husband behind.  Unfortunately, Doug has to work tomorrow, Mother’s Day, and cannot join Dawson and me on our trip.  C’est la vie.

The irony of all of this is that Doug took today off, forgetting that I had made these plans.  I’m feeling bad about my husband spending his Saturday all alone.  I shouldn’t feel this way because I know he’ll find something to do.  Lawn work and dandelion hunting are his stress relievers and he’s been complaining about his lack of sleep for days.  I sense a big long nap in his future.

Lord knows he will probably enjoy his free time away from the demanding toddler and hormonal wife. Why am I somewhat jealous of that?  I mean, I get time away from Dawson every few months, but when I’m gone I feel terribly guilty about leaving my son with his father.  It’s complete bullshit.  I can guarantee Doug will not be feeling guilty about his day alone.  I secretly hope he does, but I already know he’s going to be in heaven.  Men have it easy.  They can do what they please, they can be carefree and never regret it!

Is this just the way mothers and fathers differ?  Do moms feel guilty about everything and dads feel guilty about nothing?  I can’t help but wonder if we’re genetically designed this way. 

The moment our little apple pops out of our loins, do we instantly succumb to the Mommy-Guilt-Gene?  Is there an unwritten law that states we must be made to feel miserable if we wish to visit the adult world for a day, or two, or three maybe?

Maybe, it is a control thing.  As a mother, do I secretly believe that no one is capable of raising my child better than me?  Or do I feel afraid to miss the things my child will do or say while I’m spending time with friends and trying to regroup?

But yet, why do I never feel guilty leaving my son with his grandparents?  I know damn well that my mother and father take good care of their grandson.  So why do I worry about my husband? 

I sometimes wonder if he resents me for enjoying myself without him or our son.  Or maybe I feel guilty because Doug and I haven’t had time alone without Dawson in many long months?

Perhaps that’s it.  I’m sad that Doug and i haven’t had time to reconnect as parents.  With our opposite work schedules and alternating days off, we never have a day alone.  We never go on “dates” or spend time at home sans toddler. 

We need a vacation.  If only we could afford one.  If there are any travel agencies giving away free, all expense paid trips, please keep me in mind.  I’ll even do a review. 

Hey…It was worth a shot, right?

Posted by Dana @ 10:22 AM • Uncategorized   
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2 Responses to “We’re Leaving Today…”

  1. Enjoy that vacation…You need time to regroup and so does he…It’s nice that you give each other that…

    Have a wonderful time!

  2. Hope you had a nice time. Ben is 16 months, and I still don’t want to leave him at a sitter’s house so we can go on a date. It’s a problem, I know. Hubby gets a night off each week, though. He goes kayaking with the guys from work. He seems to need that even if I don’t see the point yet. I’m sure I’ll feel differently when I’m home all day with two kids. :)

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Dana began her Mom career in 2004 with the birth of her first son, Dawson, aka The Doodlebug, and little brother, Owen, was born in 2009. She spends her days putting out fires, climbing mountains and chasing monsters.
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