December 14, 2006

Another Meme

I think it was Janet from Dancing Through that tagged me for this meme.  It really is a fun one! 

Things You May Not Know About Me: (even after all the memes)
1. I hate cleaning the refrigerator.  I would rather clean the toilet instead.  I think this fear of old food stems from my childhood.  My mother would save leftovers and forget about them.  Yuck.

2. I am writing a book but I’m afraid to send it to a publisher because of my strong fear of rejection.

3. I have a scar on my right arm.  I broke it when I was five years old.  I was pretending to be Mary Lou Retton during the 1984 Olympics (I was watching her on TV).  I fell of a chair and snapped my elbow.

4. I do not like vegetables in a can and refuse to eat them if someone else serves them.  They think I won’t know the difference between canned and frozen, but I always, do.

5.  I want another baby, but I’m afraid of having pre-eclampsia again.  This is preventing me from getting pregnant.

Things I want to do before I die (in random order):
1. Publish my book.

2.  Be on the Rachael Ray show.

3.  Meet Ann Coulter.

4. Visit New York City.

5.  Write a screenplay.

Things I cannot do:
1. Tie my shoes the bunny ear style.

2. Play Chess.

3.  Play Piano.

4.  Eat venison.  Yuck.

5.  Dance the Tango.

Things I can do:
1. Dance the Polka.

2.  Play Violin.

3.  Write.

4.  Sing.

5. Play with my son and his toys.

Things I love about my Husband:
1. His amazing sense of humor.
2. His man smell.
3. His capacity to love me even when I do stupid things.
4. The way he loves our son is amazing.

Things I say most often:
1. Shutup
2. Absofuckinglutely
3. Seriously?
4. Yep.  Umm-hmm.

Movies I love:
1. An Affair to Remember
2. The Way We Were
3. The Family Stone
4. Fried Green Tomatoes 

December 13, 2006

No Sex For Mommy & Daddy

I’ve come to realize that little Dawson will forever be an only child because his father and I don’t have sex.  In fact, we haven’t had sex in nearly 3 weeks and frankly, now that I no longer have that cold/flu thing, I’m getting a little frisky.

My very Catholic mother is probably reading this post and covering her eyes in embarassment, wondering how on earth her daughter can disgrace the family name by admitting to the internet that she is having trouble with her sex life.  I’m sorry, mom, but I can’t lie.  Sex is a good thing, and I’m married, so I’m allowed to participate.

I wish I could blame this lack of sex situation on something easy, like erectile disfunction, and we’d get one of those four hour erection pills from the urologist and be on our merry way.  But our trouble is much worse.  The problem lies, literally, between us in the form of a 28 pound toddler who insists on sleeping in our bed, with us, every single night.

I promised myself when I became a mother that I would not let my baby sleep in bed with me and my husband.  My fear that one of us would accidentally and unknowingly roll over our baby was something that tortured me.  Dawson always went to sleep in his own crib.  From the time he was 6 months old until about 18 months old he always went to bed easily and usually without out a struggle. 

Then one day my perfect sleep bubble burst and his naptime and bedtime became eratic and now at two years old, he fights me to go to bed.  The second he gets into his crib he cries and screams and the tears flow freely down his cheeks. 

I’ve tried to let him cry it out, but I can’t handle it.  I feel like a monster.  A horrible mommy monster who forces her precious, little boy to fall asleep alone.  I have enough parent guilt.  I don’t need more.

It’s my own fault really.  When one of us was sick I’d “bend the rules” and allow Dawson to sleep next to me.  I justified my decision by saying he’s only little for so long and how sweet he is when he’s curled up next to me and his soft cheek is nuzzled next to mine.  How could I say no to the lovey feeling I get, cuddling next to my baby?

Now, I’m paying for it because he refuses — absolutely refuses — to go back to his own bed.  I’ve tried the “let him fall asleep and then move him to his own bed” routine only to hear him stir at 3 a.m. and then screaming with fright, demanding that I get him “outie”.

Poor Doug is being ever so patient while I try to break this horrible cycle I’ve setup for myself .  What’s worse is that I really don’t mind Dawson in our bed, until it’s time to do what married people do after dark in order to procreate.

I suppose I should admit, yes we want another baby, no we are not actively trying; we’re following the whatever happens, happens, plan.  And it may never happen, if that little Doodlebug doesn’t sleep in his crib.

The funny thing about this whole story is that I was telling Dawson that Mommy and Daddy want another baby. 

“Dawson, do you want a brother?”

“No.”

“Do you want a sister?”

“No.”

“What if Mumma and Daddy want another baby?”

“No.  Mumma, da baby me.”

It’s almost like he’s sleeping with us, to prevent us from giving him a sibling!

Any suggestions?

December 12, 2006

Her Bad Auction

If you haven’t already, please visit Her Bad Auction, to support Catherine’s (of Her Bad Mother) nephew Tanner.

Tanner has Duchenne’s Muscular Dystrophy, in which his muscles are deteriorating and he may soon be in a wheel chair, and eventually his muscles will not function at all.

Catherine’s post was heart wrenching and the title of her entry is “The Heart is a Muscle.”  It made me weep and it made me smile and it made me appreciate all the things I take for granted in my life.

Catherine and I have never met, but I read her blog daily and I adore the way she writes and the love she shares with us, throught her writing.

Kristen of Motherhood Uncensored, Julie of MotherGooseMouse and many other sponsors have pulled together to create an auction with the proceeds being donated to Tanner.  The full list of sponsors can be found here.

There are many amazing raffle items to be won.  The auction is not open until December 13, but you must head over there to scope out the items you want to bid on.  Buy raffle tickets, please!  I’ve got my eye on the iPod shuffle. 

Your donations, your purchase of tickets and your support means so much to Catherine and to all the sponsors.  And it would mean a lot to me, because we never know when we’ll need help ourselves someday, and this blog community is amazing and wonderful…there truly are no words. 

You may also get your children involved in writing a letter to Tanner.  I’m going to help Dawson write his letter, today.

So, please, help make a difference this holiday season.

Murphy Lee Is Three

Happy Birthday, Murphy!  Three years ago, today, you were born.  We fell in love with you immediately and you are truly our first born.

Love,

Mumma, Daddy & your little human brother, Dawson.