October 14, 2006
Mommy Wants to Quit
I think I need a new job. I don’t want to work anymore. I miss my baby. Even though he’s not technically a baby anymore, but I’m missing out on his life. He’s only two and every single day that I’m not with him because I’m working, I miss out on things he says and things he does. An outsider to my life may be wondering what is so great about a two-year-old’s day, but I think it’s great and I miss him. I miss Dawson.
I can’t even stand it anymore.
I curse myself for not being smarter financially. I wish I had done things differently so that when Dawson was born, I wouldn’t have had to go to work.
It’s so overwhelming. House payments! Car payments (only 14 left)! Loan payments! Utilities! Groceries! Diapers!! Any other payment that we have to make!
When will it end? When will I be able to be home with my children?
Why am I so angry that I have to work to pay the bills? I don’t hate my job. I don’t love it to pieces, but I don’t hate it, either.
Why am I so eager to be with my son so much that I’m willing to walk out of work, RIGHT NOW, and never come back?
Why, why, why, why, why?
Posted by Dana @ 8:01 am • Uncategorized
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October 14th, 2006 at 12:18 pm, Sue (Mominator Says:
I know exactly what you are talking about! I am so blessed to have been able to stay home with my girls once Dweeb and I married. But now? 23 years later? What the heck do I do? Out of workforce for so long and everything has changed. Oh well, I’ll figure it out. I hope you can too. I hated it when they were away at freakin’ school. I’m hopeless.
Loved your comment. The other comment made by the bible ‘teacher’ was that we were wrong to raise DQ in a ‘religion’. LOL!!! DQ and I were laughing hysterically on the phone. Like they aren’t a religion. Ah well, they mean well and I have to admit there is nothing offered by Catholics anywhere close. I guess we’ll pray for their souls.
Have a great weekend!
October 14th, 2006 at 12:39 pm, Cheryl Says:
I feel your pain. I was fortunate enough to be able to stay home with my son full-time for the first two years of his life and those are some of my happiest memories.
I hope you find the way to do those things you need to do in the practical world and still have time to find all the joys of motherhood with Dawson.
He’s a beautiful child!
October 15th, 2006 at 3:31 am, clair Says:
I wasn’t home with my kids either when they were Dawson’s age. They’re none the worse from not having me around, I don’t think. I used to have these niggling feelings too and it scared me that I actually enjoyed sharpening their pencils more than going to work LOL. But now that I’m home with them, I realize what I must’ve missed.
October 15th, 2006 at 10:30 am, Roberta Says:
Dana, I know how you feel. But don’t beat yourself up for it. I think you are probably doing a remarkable job. It is hard to be financially more on the ball in this day and age. My husband and I started out later than you and we really didn’t have a clue what we were getting ourselves into. (we are late 30’s early 40’s) I too curse those years when I could’ve been more savy about our future financial situation.
I read something today that helped me put this in perspective a bit more, and made me feel sad for these parents who are in a far more difficult situation than I. I sent you the link below.
http://www.nytimes.com/2006/10/14/nyregion/nyregionspecial2/15Rparent.html?_r=1&oref=slogin
October 15th, 2006 at 1:28 pm, Kate O'Brien Says:
I’m so sorry you are going through this! I haven’t been in this situation as I have always been home with my kids. But many people I am close to go through the same feelings daily. My sister and sister in laws go though this. I try to be supportive and encourage them as much as I can. The funny thing is, after 13 years of being a stay at home mother, I would love to trade places with you some days Dana.
Being a mother is hard, stay at home or working outside the home and each situation brings its own set of difficulties and obstacles to overcome. We’re all doing the best we can to meet our families needs. Hang in there! You are a wonderful mother and it will all work itself out.
October 15th, 2006 at 2:03 pm, Dana Says:
I know that Dawson is fine at daycare, I just feel like there is so little time to really know him. And every day at work just makes me realize how much I really want to know my son and be with him. It’s such a catch-22.