August 29, 2006
Baby Love
As I’m sitting on the couch watching Emeril on The Food Network, my sweet little boy crawls up next to me with his favorite book Ruby in Her Own Time and says to me, “Mumma, dis a bwook.”
I put the television on mute and begin to read him this story for the millionth glorious time. He listens intently, occasionally interrupting with various words like ‘ducka’ and ‘turdel’ and insists on turning all the pages for me.
It’s in this moment that I say a little prayer thanking God for giving me the gift of a child and allowing me the privilege to be Dawson’s mother. It’s a glorious feeling. A feeling that often brings tears to my eyes at sometimes at the oddest moments.
Often I’ll be at work, on the telephone with some crazy travel agent and I’ll miss my baby. The feeling that washes over me is like a flood and I feel like I don’t have a paddle to navigate through the waves of the hurricane of emotions. I start wondering what he’s doing and what he’s saying and who’s hugging him or kissing his adorable cheeks when I’m not there to do it. I’ll wish and pray to God for a million dollars in my bank account tomorrow so I can stop working and spend more time with my beautiful, precious boy.
I often wonder if all mothers go through these hormonal highs and lows of motherhood. Am I just the crazy one? (Don’t answer that.)
When I look at my Doodlebug’s sweet face I instantly go to him and give him a kiss and ask him for a hug. Most often he’ll oblige but on occasion he’ll say, “No. Mumma, go way.”
I know he knows not what he’s saying, he is just asserting himself. But I steal a hug anyway and he’ll whine into my ear until I release him from my hold. As I pull away he’ll smirk at me and say, “Awwwww. Mummmmma.” and reach over to hug me anyway. It makes me cry happy tears every single time.
I love this child more than my own life. If anyone threatened to harm him in any way, I’d give my own life in exchange for his safety.
I love him so much that I can smell his baby shampoo scent, I can feel his soft caress in my hair, I can hear his little toddler chatter even when I’m away from him. His existence consumes me. Is this a normal way to feel? Am I so emotional that I can’t contemplate life before him? How did I survive pre-Dawson? I cannot fathom this.
The love I have for my child is so strong that I don’t think I could ever recover if he left me. You know what I mean. If God decided to take my child to Heaven, he knows I’d be following after him.
Even when the ‘Terrible Two’s’ approach and I am frustrated because I don’t know why he’s crying or what he wants some days, I still love him so much I want to scream from the rooftops!
It’s an overwhelming feeling. Often when I read other “Mommy Blogs” like this post by Catherine, I find myself nodding and smiling and laughing and crying because I can relate to many of the feelings and emotions of these women.
And I realize that even when I feel alone, I’m not. I have a great support group out there and that makes me feel sane. It keeps me grounded. On my couch. Reading a story for the millionth glorious time to my Dawson.
Posted by Dana @ 7:07 pm • Uncategorized
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August 29th, 2006 at 9:41 pm, Mominator Says:
It doesn’t matter old they are, you will feel the same things, smell the same smells, and want to run to them. There are times now when I can see, smell, and fell my girls when they are young again. It’s great being a mom.
I hope you are okay about the pregnancy thing. God chooses when we are born, not us. (Great pic!)
: ) Sue
August 29th, 2006 at 10:05 pm, Guinevere Says:
You are perfectly normal and all moms do this! Even when they’re teenagers…I still get teary watching them do their thing…even if it’s just watching tv. lol I feel like a complete nut when that happens, but oh well. lol
Glad to hear that the whole pregnancy thing was resolved and that you’re ok with the results. :o)
Have a great weekend!
August 30th, 2006 at 5:47 am, Brighton Says:
Beautiful!
August 30th, 2006 at 3:00 pm, Dana Says:
Thanks ladies! He really is my life. I love that child so much. It is almost as if there are no words to describe it, just a feeling. Many feelings, really.
August 30th, 2006 at 6:44 pm, mommaobrienx7 Says:
What a wonderful post! Like everyone else, I totally relate.
August 31st, 2006 at 8:33 am, Dana Says:
Thanks Kate! I am glad other moms know what I feel!
August 31st, 2006 at 10:32 am, Anonymous Says:
This is just too sweet! Love the picture!
August 31st, 2006 at 10:32 am, Anonymous Says:
Oops, forgot to sign my name! The last comment was from me.
~ Fat Chick
August 31st, 2006 at 10:54 am, Dana Says:
Thanks FC!!
You are such a darling to me. I can’t tell you how much I adore you!
August 31st, 2006 at 12:48 pm, Hothousemomma Says:
thanks for letting me know you moved. Sorry for the trolls.. Send them back under the bridge
August 31st, 2006 at 3:05 pm, Anonymous Says:
Dana you are too sweet for your own good.
Hugs to you,
~ FC