June 22, 2006
Pissed off on Thursday
I’m a little pissed off today. Pissed off because of a situation that has happened in my town. And it hit close to home– it happened to my family member, Jesse.
Jesse, 22, had an account with MySpace.com. He happened to meet a girl on the popular college/teen website meeting place. This girl stated she was 19 years old. Jesse attended UWSP and met this girl and had sex with her. He later found out she was 14 years old. To make a long story short, he is now facing sexual assault charges. While I understand that Wisconsin law states that a person younger than 18 cannot legally consent to sex, I’m baffled that this girl will go unpunished for her actions. She lied about her age on a website. Her parents were not aware of her “extra-curricular activities.” Yes, Jesse was wrong to become intimate with this girl. But he admitted his actions. He didn’t lie about it. He confessed that he later found out she was 14. He did not force her to have sex. The girl has denied the allegations of lying about her age.
Now we see all over the news that a mother in Texas is suing MySpace.com for not protecting minors. I understand the mother’s point of view, because the website does nothing to verify the age of it’s members. It does state that no one younger than 16 can sign up. So how do these 14 year old girls get accounts? By lying. And where are their parents to monitor their internet usage?
Yes, I know parents cannot monitor their children 24/7. And I understand that children will use the internet at friend’s homes and at school or the public library. So, these children have found the means to be deceiful. So why should they go unpunished? If you’re going to put yourself in the position to flirt and have sex with older boys, shouldn’t you also suffer the consequences?
My blogging pal, J.P. at Faint Expectations says it best.
…I’ll be honest and say that it’s my opinion that 90 percent of MySpace users are the perfect example of what’s wrong in America. Is that the fault of MySpace? No. These people would have been obsessed with acting stupid, promoting their favorite cheap beer, dressing like whores and rap stars, and driving pimped-out Mitsubishis regardless of whether or not MySpace ever existed. MySpace simply provided the outlet to promote the stupidity on a larger scale; the people would have existed anyway.
…As for “protecting” their children, I cringe just knowing that there are parents who would sooner have a bunch of Website administrators look out for their kids as opposed to them. What exactly do they consider as being in the job description of parents?
…In this case, if the 14-year-old girl was willing to lie to get an account, was willing to go out for the evening with a guy five years older than her, and that the mom had absolutely no idea that her daughter was e-mailing and calling a 19-year-old, then there are things in this family that need to be dealt with more than a lawsuit against a Website.
I can’t even tell you how pissed I am. But, I’m going to do my part to make sure that Jesse isn’t the only one to suffer for this situation. Afterall, the Liberals in this world make it so easy for kids to have sex. Distributing condoms in elementary and junior & senior high schools. So, really why should my cousin be punished?
Posted by Dana @ 9:49 am • Uncategorized
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June 22nd, 2006 at 12:21 pm, J.P. Says:
This answers my question on my site. I wasn’t sure which accused person was your cousin.
A few years ago I worked with a girl whose younger brother almost had this happen to him, though not on the Internet. The only thing that prevented it from happening was…well, basically luck. Not to take up a lot of space, but here’s how it happened:
A few years ago I was working at a middle school in a district other than the one I’m in now. One of the 8th grade girls looked as if she were 18- or 19-years-old, and one day I asked one of the English teachers, “So how many times has she failed?” The English teacher — I’ll call her Mrs. X for the story — looked at me and said, “Let me tell you a story about her.”
Mrs. X explained that while her 20-year-old brother was home from college, the two of them decided to go out for lunch. Along the way, the aforementioned 8th grade girl was coming out of a convenience store/gas station where Mrs. X and her brother stopped. Her brother and the 8th grade girl exchanged hellos and the usual “How are you doing?” As they were leaving the gas station, Mrs. X looked at her brother and asked, “How do you know that girl?” Mrs. X’s brother, who didn’t think that anything was out of the ordinary, explained that the girl had been to a few college parties with him. “Did she tell you how old she was?” Mrs. X asked. “Yeah,” her brother answered, “she’s 19.”
Mrs. X told him that the girl was in her 8th grade English class and he realized that he almost did something that would have no doubt affected the rest of his life.
June 22nd, 2006 at 12:28 pm, Dana Says:
It frustrates me. I adore Jesse. He’s a good kid. He would NEVER force anyone to have sex. And I know what he did was wrong in the sense that a 14 year old girl “can’t legally consent” but she lied. She schemed. She didn’t tell her age until later. And he’s not very bright for continuing the relationship, because now he’s in trouble. His life has a permanent scar on it. Thank you for commenting! I appreciate it!
June 22nd, 2006 at 2:00 pm, Ben Says:
I hope this isn’t perceived to be back to back attacks on your blog, but wasn’t Jesse a ‘tad’ irresponsible here? He’s got no one to blame but himself for taking a relationship to that level based on what could only have been a couple meetings.
Take her on one ‘date’ to a club that cards people. Talk to her a few times in person before sleeping with her. The 14 year olds aren’t that difficult to spot. When the conversation is limited to what they do at the mall every time, it kinda sets off a flag.
Should the girl get some sort of punishment too? Sure, I’m with you on that. But Jesse acted irresponsibly and needs to pay the piper for it.
June 22nd, 2006 at 2:37 pm, Dana Says:
Wow, Ben. You’ve got a lot to say. Yes, I agree. Jesse was very irresponsible. I never pretended to think he was not at fault. I thought I was pretty clear on that.
He told the truth. This girl’s story changes continually and I’m afraid it’s no different than the Duke Lacrosse rape case. A stripper goes to dance in someone’s private residence and claims to have been sexually assaulted — but had sex with different men prior. No one deserves to be raped. But why do these girls put themselves in these positions to be harmed?
Why does a 14 year old girl lie, make phone calls behind her parents back and have sex with someone older than her and then deny it?
Why is it okay for politicians and teachers to promote condoms in school? They are encouraging sex! And why does a 14 year old’s mother sue a website for damages because her daughter was deceitful and have sex?
It’s a bit of a double standard. And the vultures, er lawyers, are out to make a pretty penny of the irresponsible behavior of a minor. I don’t agree with it one bit!
July 5th, 2006 at 10:13 am, Ben Says:
Why is it okay for politicians and teachers to promote condoms in school? They are encouraging sex!
This does not encourage sex. This encourages safety. Your logic says that fast food encourages obesity, when the fact of the matter is it comes down to a choice. Kids are responsible for having sex, not condoms. I drive by a McDonalds every day, but ultimately, I’m the one who makes the choice to eat there or not. Administrators are just trying to keep a mistake from being a life-changing or life-threatening mistake. I’m all for condoms being distributed with their daily school lunches or yearbooks. Come to think, having a punchbowl full of them at prom night isnt a bad idea. If the kid is going to make a poor choice, I’d rather minimize the mistake.
The kids that arent having sex until they are more mature are the ones that were a) taught by their parents the benefits of waiting, and the risks of not b) have a good head on their shoulders, and can resist peer pressure and c)were very lucky. Even good people make mistakes. None of this has anything to do with making condoms available.
And why does a 14 year old’s mother sue a website for damages because her daughter was deceitful and have sex?
Because she is a) a bad parent b) an idiot and c) probably looking to make a quick buck from her daughter’s sluttiness. Take your pick. My vote is for all three.