May 29, 2006

PiC Marriage and Motherhood?

I subscribe to Human Events and I have been catching up on my reading. I read this article about Carrie Lukas’ book “The Politically Incorrect Guide to Women, Sex, and Feminism.” I haven’t read her book yet, but it’s on my list of things to do. I enjoy reading different viewpoints on Motherhood, Marriage and Career Women.

In the article written by Mandy Stoltzfus of Human Events, it describes Lukas’ view point, that women are often given bad information which lead them to make choices that are not good for them.

“Women aren’t like the women on ‘Sex and the City,’ ladies,” said Carrie Lukas, vice president of policy at the Independent Women’s Forum. This is true, but I really like SATC. It’s humorous and ironic, because in the dating world, I’ve experience similar scenarios prior to meeting my husband. It’s fiction with flair. I would hope that women in the world would know this and not try to emulate their lives based on an HBO television series.

She also states that she is a product of a pop culture that promotes promiscuity, living together before marriage and encourages that thought that “children are career killers” and that the phenomenon of living together before marriage is damaging in the long run. “Living together first often means that couples marry out of guilt, not out of love,”

Another truth! I was raised Catholic and growing up I was taught that sex before marriage is a sin. And yet, I met my husband and we dated for a year before I lost my virginity to him. I love my husband very much. And I knew that I wanted to marry him. I don’t believe that I got married out of guilt.

I sometimes wonder if our relationship would have taken a different course had I waited until marriage before having sex? Doug and I only lived together for 3 months before our wedding. This was because it was easier to move our things in the summer before our October wedding. But still, my family was not okay with it. And I lied and said we slept in separate rooms, but I’m sure they knew what was really going on.

I sometimes thing that perhaps I’m not a very good role model because of the mistakes I made. Of course I don’t think having sex with my husband before marriage was a mistake. Morally, yes. But I love Doug and we have a wonderful life together, a beautiful son and we know this is the real deal.

We are not perfect, however. We still have fights about money, household chores, different methods of child-rearing. But I think this is normal. This is what marriage is about. Our differences are what help us grow.

I won’t even go into the “housewife” or “stay-at-home-Mom” or “Work-out-of-the-home-Mom” personas because I feel that every woman is entitled to her choices in those areas.

Posted by Dana @ 5:59 am • Uncategorized