May 5, 2006
The F-Bomb
I have a few things to say today. (I’ve been spending time with my Bug and he desperately wants to play the “Tickle Monster” game so this will be not-so-short and not-so-sweet.)
If you haven’t read this yet, please do so. Read the comments also. Go on. Do it. You know you want to.
Since when has Feminism been defined as “Anti-Men”? Since when is it okay to bash other women about their choices? That’s what the Feminist movement is about. My choices as opposed to society’s choices, as opposed to my parents’ choices, as opposed to anybody else’s choices.
So, if I decide to stay at home with my children, that is good enough. I don’t have to be a career woman to have a job. If I decide to work for a multi-million dollar insurance company, that is acceptable also. Because these are my decisions, my choices.
I wanted to go to college and I did. No, I didn’t graduate because I ran out of money. Financial aid ran out, I needed to get a job to pay for it (I couldn’t abuse the system like a single friend of mine who just keeps having children to get more free living assistance, free medical care, free educational grants), and I chose to take a few years off, save the money and go back. Unfortunately, I haven’t gone back to college. Yet. Does that mean I can’t still do it? OF COURSE NOT.
I wanted to work full-time at an amazing job with health care benefits, 401(k) options, a health club membership and other perks, and I got that, too. I was offered to go to job training to become a licensed insurance agent and I made that happen.
I met my husband and I wanted to get married. So I did. After a few years of being married, I wanted to have a baby. I did that as well. Someday, I might want another child and I just might decide to have one. After all, it is my choice. Right?
No where does it say that to be a feminist you have to hate men. I haven’t read anything telling me that if I stay at home with my son I’m a lesser woman and I’ve succumbed to a life a servitude to my husband and children. And I don’t recall anyone telling me it was mandatory to make my choices based on a “movement”. Please. Spare. Me.
I’m sick to death of women like Anne giving women a bad name. NOT FEMINISTS. WOMEN. I’m almost embarrassed for her. To call herself a woman and then down right attack Erin for her choices. That’s what Anne claims she fought for. “To give you choices.” But apparently Anne believes our choices should be the same as hers. We should all go out and show our children that “a woman could be the bread winner and the mother” and that we didn’t “need a man” to take care of us. Hmmm. Let’s ponder this for a moment.
There. I pondered.
Here’s what I think. I think Anne was a bitter, single mother. The father of her children may have been a loser and therefore she “chose” to work because she had to. She is angry because she was the breadwinner and didn’t have a man to take care of her. So because of this bitterness, Anne wants to hide behind the Feminist card and say she fought for choices. She wants women “like you to stop aligning themselves with the real feminists.” But she was MORE THAN HAPPY TO THINK WE SHOULD ALIGN OUR CHOICES WITH HERS! What exactly is a “real feminist?” Anne? I don’t think so. A real feminist would be cheering me on saying, “You go girl! Live your dreams! Steer your own course!”
Now, of course, I could be wrong. Maybe she chose to ditch the man in her life and maybe she chose to be the working mother. Great. That’s fabulous. Good for you, Anne! I’m proud of you. But before you go burning bridges you might have to cross someday, think of this:
Without MEN there would not be those wonderful boys you raised. Without MEN we may not have had this wonderful country called America that we live in. I’m not saying MEN are superior by any means. But neither are WOMEN. We’re equals. That’s what FEMINISM is about. Women who want to be treated as equals. This doesn’t mean we women should go out and slander men. But we also shouldn’t slander other women. Who are we to judge?
I wish Anne would get off her high horse. Or at least take one constipation relieving shit. But please, Anne don’t leave your shit all over the rest of us.
I think the new club should be called “Feminists with Choices”. Choices to make on our own for ourselves, whether we stay at home or work at home or work in an office or whatever the choices are; we should be thankful we have them. Many women don’t and it’s time to support other women and continue the fight against society and the “shoulds”.
I support Erin. I want to be a STHF, and I know Erin would support me in being a WOHF. That’s what the F-Word is all about. (No, not the four letter F-word.)
Anne’s comment sickens me as much as Gloria Steinem. Ms. Gloria Steinem fought for tough sexual harassment laws and legislation against date rape. But it wasn’t until Bill Clinton was being charged with groping Kathleen Willey that she defended the President. Gloria said it wasn’t sexual harassment because “she said no” to his solicitation of oral sex “and that was the end of it.” Ummm. Okay? So he supported her choice? The choice not to give Billy a blow job? Tell me again what Gloria was fighting for?
Anne you are a hypocrite. Just like Gloria. She must have been one of your mentors. You should take that mentality and realize that Erin, who has every right to be a feminist, has decided to stay home with her children and “that’s the end of it.”
Posted by Dana @ 2:57 PM • Feminism
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May 7th, 2006 at 7:10 PM, shay v. Says:
Well articulated and exactly “right on” – great post and follow up to Erin’s post.
May 7th, 2006 at 10:13 PM, Mocha Says:
Attagirl! Way to help support the cause. Nicely done.
May 8th, 2006 at 9:15 AM, Dana Says:
Thanks ladies! Your comments mean the world to me. Sometimes I ramble and my face gets all hot, but I think I got my point across to “Anne”.
May 8th, 2006 at 2:42 PM, wtvric Says:
speaking of high horses…get down off of yours.
May 8th, 2006 at 2:48 PM, Dana Says:
WTVRIC, thak you for your comment!
-smiling politely-
I’ll be sure my to cut my horse’s legs off.