May 3, 2006

It’s a Bird! It’s a Plane! No Wait, It’s a Meme!

We all parent differently, but we share the universal theory of being the best moms we can be. I was tagged for a parenting-style meme. Here are my crazy answers!

The Questions

With what fictional character do you think your parenting style most resembles?

I’d have to say my parenting style is a cross between Lynette Scavo from Desperate Housewives and Debra Barrone from Everybody Loves Raymond.

With what fictional character do you think your spouse’s parenting style most resembles?

Jim Belushi’s character in According to Jim.

Do you let your kids watch TV, and if so, what do you let them watch?

Dawson is a little young for TV. He’s not quite two yet. He has no attention span. I turn on Spanish Sesame Street sometimes (I was told he’s never too young to learn a foreign language) and he just looks at the tube and continues playing with his matchbox cars.

Do you let your kids decide what music or programming is played when you’re riding inside the family vehicle?

Nope! I listen to Polkas with Dawson in the car. It’s the only thing that keeps him quiet.

Say you’re cut off in traffic by an idiotic driver. Your children are in the vehicle with you. Bad parent that you are, you let slip an angry curse word. One of the kids starts repeating the curse over and over. You respond how?

I’d probably laugh and then try to explain that the naughty word is bad. And that Mommy needs a time out for saying it.

Your kids are fighting. Again. This time the lil’ darlins are tussling over who gets to hold a trinket they got from a Happy Meal. They are screaming and making pounding noises in the other room. Someone starts crying. You hear at least one set of feet furiously pounding down the hall to your location. Do you intervene? Lay down the law about no physical fighting? Tell them to work it out? Or say, “Don’t come to me unless someone is bleeding!”?

I think I’d let the kids duke it out. My parents let us kids do it and we turned out fine. I think? I suppose I’ll have to rethink this question when I decide to have child #2.

Your youngest child appears in your bedroom at an unreasonably early morning hour. Your spouse starts moving in the bed so you know that your betrothed is awake. Do you let the spouse know that you’re awake so you can both decide who will deal with the early riser or do you pretend that you’re still sleeping?

Don’t tell my husband, but I play the fast asleep card often. (Shhhh. Mommy’s sleeping.)

What do you do or say when your child talks back to you?

“We do not talk back to Mommy. I’ll make you sit in the corner!” or “When Daddy gets home, I’m going to tell on you!” (Dawson is still too young to understand, but when I say this he replies, “Uh-oh.” It’s too damn cute. I don’t stay mad for long.)

How many consecutive days would you let your child wear a particularly loved piece of clothing?

One day. I don’t care how bad he cries. It would drive me nuts to allow him to wear the same outfit twice in a row. (I’m naive, I know. We’ll see what I do when this really happens!)

You have to leave your house NOW for an appointment or school. You’ve already made sure your children were dressed, that their hair was combed and teeth brushed. You put out their coats and shoes before you left the room for a brief moment. You come back to the door only to find that your daughter has unexpectedly changed into mismatched pajamas that not only don’t fit her, but are a blinding combination of purple, Kelly green, fuchsia and canary yellow. Plus her shoes are missing. Do you take her out as is? Demand that she put on the original outfit and just be late? Physically put the clothes back on her? Just give up and go back to bed?

I’d take normal clothes along to change into when in the car. I just don’t have patience to redress a child.

Dinner is on the kitchen table. One kid complains that he doesn’t want milk, he wants juice. Another says he doesn’t want the wheat bread on the table, he wants a roll from the pantry. The third says she needs a spoon, not a fork. Your reaction?

I’d probably go get whatever it is they wanted just to shut them up.

One of your child’s school friends is visiting your home. The small visitor is an ill-behaved little heathen. Do you: 1. Rat him out when his parent arrives to pick the kid up or 2. Keep your mouth shut and silently vow not to invite the kid back?

The naughty friend doesn’t get invited back. I’m too humble to tattle on the kid and I’m sure his parents KNOW how he acts.

You’re preparing a whole chicken for dinner. One of your young kids comes over and examines the uncooked fowl in the roasting pan. He asks, “Where’s its head?” followed by further inquiries like, “Where’s its pee-pee? Where did the chicken come from? Where did it go poop? Did it hurt when the chicken was killed?” You say what?

“The chicken asked too many questions and so I chopped it’s head off.” (I’m a mean Momma, eh?)

You learn that a boy at school shoved your son onto the ground during recess while a group of other boys laughed at him as he cried. Do you call the school? The bully’s parents? Teach your son how to fight back?

I’d call his teacher and ask what disciplinary action was taken against the bully. Then explain to my son that he should only fight back in self defense the next time he’s shoved.

Do you let your kids pick out their own clothes at the store or do you just buy their clothes?

I just buy ‘em. I have a great fashion sense and I know where the bargains are and what the hottest trends are. (All my years working in a department store.)

You’re arranging a play date at your house for your preschooler with another child and that kid’s mom. The day before their scheduled fun-fest the kid’s mom says on the telephone, “Don’t forget. Susy and I only eat organic food, whole wheat, no refined sugar. That kind of stuff.” You eat healthily, but not that healthily. What do you serve for a snack? Do you go out and stock up on organic stuff?

Bottled water, organic carrots and soy peanut butter.

Your mother-in-law takes your son out for the afternoon for some grandma-grandson time. When they come back, you see that she’s taken him to get his hair cut. A buzz cut to be exact. He had a head of adorable little curls before the chopping. What do you do?

I politely explain that all decisions regarding my son’s hair go through ME and that next time she crosses the line I won’t be so nice about it. But my MIL is wonderful, she’d never do that. It’s my OWN mom I’d have to worry about.

What things do you let your kids do that you don’t tell your spouse/partner about?

When my husband works late nights I let Dawson sleep in bed with me and then delicately transfer him to his crib before Daddy gets home.

What’s the worst, most nutritionally vacuous meal you’ve ever served your kids?

French Fries.

Have you ever been “caught” by your offspring while, uh, “wrestling” with your spouse?

Nope. Dawson is usually asleep in his crib when we do “that”.

Posted by Dana @ 4:56 pm • Meme-isms