April 23, 2006

The Mini-Series Marathon

Somebody HELP ME! I’ve been trapped in my house all weekend, watching a “North and South” marathon. I managed to get through ALL six tapes. OF THE FIRST BOOK. God help me, I was not aware that “North and South: Book Two” existed. Do you KNOW how long each episode is? Do you KNOW how many hours of video I’m going to endure?

What can I say…I just love “Ge-auge Hazz-od” (for those of you questioning, that was my best attempt at a Georgian accent via blogging).

I have to admit I am loving the story. The first time I watched it, I was six or seven years old. It’s amazing how much I remember this familiar television mini-series.

Maybe when I’m done I’ll watch Gone With the Wind again. Followed by Roots. I’m in a civil war movie funk. I don’t even know why.

April 21, 2006

Toddlers!

Today was a pretty relaxing Friday, for the most part. Doodlebug and I went to the Central Wisconsin Children’s Museum with his classmates this morning. Nate and Sophia turn 2 years old this weekend and this field trip was how we celebrated. It was so wonderful to go along with his class since I had the day off. Normally, I can never steal away any time to visit, so when I was invited to come along I was very excited.

The CWCM is in our mall. It has a wonderful play area with many educational toys and on certain days of the week they host a “Toddler Music Class”. I really had fun getting to know his teachers and his classmates better. All the kids had a wonderful time. They especially loved the “Grocery Store” section where they could fill their play carts full of empty cereal boxes and “play foods”. I have a new photo album attached.

After the field trip, Doodlebug and I headed for home. He fell asleep in the car. He must have played hard! I carried him delicately to his crib and he rustled for a bit, then napped for two hours. Goofball had to run an errand with his friend. He borrowed a garden machine called a Roto-Tiller (or so I’m told) and had to return it to his friend’s brother’s house. When he came home, Doodlebug was awake and we headed to dinner at the new IHOP they built in our town. I was very impressed with the service.

Dining with a toddler is CRAZY! We sat in a fairly quiet section of the restaurant and for the most part the Bug behaved. That is until the food came. He demanded my croutons in my salad. I set three or four on his place mat before him and he still insisted on picking them off my plate by himself. With every little squeal from his mouth, I noticed the other patrons of the restaurant staring and I instantly began mouthing the “I’m sorries” and smiling politely. It seems that every person nearby was elderly and these Grandma-types were practically horrified that I wasn’t “minding” my child better. The Bug threw his napkin across the table and one woman had the nerve to say to her husband (rather loudly), “If I wanted to dine with a child, I’d invite the grandchildren over, at least they’d be better behaved.” I was irritated. First of all, it was 4:30 in the afternoon, a rather quiet time for dining. Second of all, he wasn’t crying or screaming, just the occasional (loud) demand and throwing of paper objects.

The waitress was very polite and made a comment at how adorable the Bug was. But maybe she was just doing that for a better tip? Even the manager of this newly built restaurant came over and politely asked how are meals were and smiled lovingly at my son.

We managed to get through our entrees swiftly, the Bug ate like a bird, and while he was patiently waiting for us to finish, he stood in our booth and looked out window. Suddenly a small object flew past and he screamed. Without thinking I replied, “Yes! Birdies!” I obviously said that too loudly, because the waitress, my husband and several other diners began to giggle. It was then and there that I realized I spend entirely too much time with my toddler. BIRDIES? What was I thinking?? I could feel my face get hot. Who says “Birdies?” It’s amazing how well I’m able to multi-task. I can maneuver my fork with one hand to feed my face and I can expertly use the other to pull the Bug off the table and instinctively catch him before he falls out of the booth. I sometimes envy my husband as he sits across the table, able to use both his hands to eat. If he only knew how difficult this was. And sometimes he’s completely oblivious to my quick reactions and manipulative tactics to get the Bug to behave!

After the waitress brought the check, I started cleaning the table. My husband curtly said, “Why are you doing that? They have bus boys.” I felt so bad at the mess our child made and replied, “I don’t want these waitresses to clean his mess! And that old lady is staring at me.” Funny, how I felt the need to clean the table! I am really a mother, aren’t I?

As we were leaving the restaurant, the waitstaff smiled and welcomed us to come back again, and I noticed a familiar face. My 18-year old cousin just got a job at the new IHOP and I was thrilled to see her, and to tell her to apologize to the bus person for our mess. She said we should not worry, that we were the best family in the place! I instantly felt better.

Not a bad day at all…I’m feeling like pancakes now…

April 20, 2006

“What do you do for a living?”

I was e-mailed and asked to share with everyone what I do for a living. I’m kind of laughing because only parents would say “What do you do for a living?” Most of the people I meet today will ask, “What do you do for dough?” or “Where do you work?” or “What’s your job like?” So to see that old school phrase again, really made me smile. It also triggered a memory of my very Polish grandmother. She used to ask, “What’s your name from home?” which translates today as “What is your maiden name?”

My job is very interesting to say the least. I work for a company called Travel Guard International. The headquarter office is located in Stevens Point, Wisconsin. Travel Guard offers travel insurance for many different types of travelers. Some of the products offered are: trip cancellation & trip interruption coverage, travel medical insurance, baggage protection, travel delay & bag delay coverages and accidental death & dismemberment insurances. Some of the services offered include: emergency medical transportation, emergency medical assistance & referrals, concierge services and live travel agent services.

Travel Guard offers these products on a retail and wholesale basis. Some of our wholesale providers include: Globus & Cosmos, Amadeus Waterways, Disney Vacation Club, Cheap Tickets, Cheap Seats, Carrentals.com, Expedia, Ice Gallery, Brendan Tours, Brennan Vacations, MBNA, Abercrombie & Kent and so many more.

My job is to sell insurance, offer assistance and take out claims. Most recently Travel Guard Canada (separate division) began offering insurance for the customers of PC Financial (President’s Choice of Canada).

I have a few funny calls I’d like to share with you.

———-

Parlez-vous francais?

Dana: Thank you for calling the PC Financial Travel Insuance Desk, this is Dana, how may I assist you?

Caller: Bon Jour, Dana is it? (This caller had a very thick French-Canadian accent)

Dana: Yes, Dana is my name.

Caller: I’d like to get a quote for travel insurance, si vous plait.

Dana: Certainly, I can help you with that, may I start by getting your name please?

Caller: Oui, my name is Monique Renois.

Dana: Merci. Is it okay if I call you Monique or do you prefer Madam Renois?

Caller: Monique is fine.

Dana: Thank you. Are you currently a PC Financial customer, Monique?

Caller: Yes, I am. I bank with your company.

Dana: May I have your address please?

Caller: Size 10.

Dana: Pardon?

Caller: Oui, you had asked for my dress size, no?

Dana: (Fighting laughter) I’m sorry, I had asked for your address.

Caller: Oh! Zut! I must be losing my hearing.

———-

Gucci on the Loosey!

Dana: Thank you for calling the Disney Vacation Club Insurance Desk, this is Dana how may I assist you?

Caller: I need to file a claim.

Dana: Certainly, I can help you with that. May I have your name please?

Caller: Jodi Martin. But the policy is under Jolene Martin.

Dana: I can look that up. May I call you Jodi or do you prefer Ms. Martin?

Caller: Jodi is fine. (She starts talking to her friend) Mary, light me a ciggie.

Dana: Thank you, Jodi. What is the reason for the claim?

Caller: Well, my friend and I are in Orlando. We took our kids to Disney. We decided to get a tan on the beach.

Dana: That sounds nice.

Caller: Yes, it was! Until we decided to tan topless. Then these two mexican kids stole my top. It was a goddamned Gucci top! Do you know how expensive that is?

Dana: (Trying not to laugh and trying harder not to ask why she took her top off at DISNEY WORLD) I’m so sorry to hear that, Jodi. Unfortunately, your coverage for baggage loss is a maximum of $500 but no one item can be more than $50. I’ll be more than happy to start the claim for this amount.

Caller: Well, will you cover my medical expenses? I sprained my ankle chasing those little “effers”.

Dana: (I had to mute the call for a minute to laugh) Your policy does have medical expense coverage. Have you seen a doctor yet?

Caller: No, I just bought some tequila. It made the pain go away.

Dana: (Again, fighting laughter) Jodi, I’d be more than happy to refer you to a physician if you’d like to seek treatment for your ankle.

Caller: That’s okay. Just send the claim forms for my Gucci.

Dana: Certainly. Thank you for calling today.

———-

April 17, 2006

Happy Birthday Frankie!!

My youngest brother, Frankie turned 15 years old today. This officially makes me old at 27.

Frankie was born on April 17, 1991. I remember when my mom told my brother Nathan my sister Rachel and me that she was expecting a baby. My first thought was, “Another sibling to drive me batty?? Aren’t two enough?” My second thought was, “Aren’t you too old to have a baby?”. I know that’s harsh, but just remember I was 12 and she was 39. So I didn’t know any better. The day they brought Artie home from the hospital, I was in love with his adorable smile and cute little dimples. I thought he was cuter than my other two siblings.

I loved giving him his bottle and playing the Peek-a-boo games. It was taking care of Frankie, that confirmed I did in fact want children someday. He was the sweetest little chunk monster. (He was almost 10 pounds when he was born!) When he was a little older, I’d take him for bike rides with me. He loved riding in the baby seat. I also learned about how stupid other people were back then, too. I was at the park with Frankie and a woman asked me if he was my son. I was thinking, “Lady, I’m 12 and I am NEVER having sex, so NO this is NOT my son.” But it didn’t stop there. She actually accused me of lying and told me that I shouldn’t be ashamed at being a teen mother. I started to cry. Didn’t she know this was my BROTHER? It’s kind of funny looking back on it now.

In a way, I was kind of like a second mother to Frankie. My parents both worked, so I did a lot of “child rearing”. I taught him how to use the potty chair, how to brush his teeth, how to tie his shoes and how to read. He followed me every where I went in the neighborhood. He was like a permanent fixture in my room, too. He always wanted to “sleep in your big girl bed so the monsters don’t get me.” How could I say no?

I remember what a comic Frankie was and still is. When he was three or four years old, we bought him a child’s golf set. He insisted on playing with the things every day. Once he was in the living room, lining the golf ball up with the “animal head” that you hit the ball into. I laughed and asked him if he knew what he was doing. He let out the most irritated sigh and said, “Of course I do! I’m a pro-vegetable! Shh! I’m putting!” I think he meant to say that he was a professional. I still smile when I think of that day.

So, the pro-vegetable has grown up. He’s in ninth grade and he wants to be an architect. He’ll spend all day designing floor plans and exteriors of houses. I’m in awe when I look at his drawings. He has such talent. I told him when he’s a famous architect/designer for “Extreme Home Make-Over”, he can design a home for me with one room full of computers and shelving for all my writing and scrapbooking projects. He agreed.

Happy Birthday Frankie! I love you!