April 10, 2006

Catholic Guilt on a Monday Morning

I really hate Mondays. I know you’re probably thinking, “Who doesn’t hate them?” But, I used to love Mondays a few months ago when it was my regularly scheduled day off. I work in the insurance business and my schedule was Tuesday through Saturday, with Sunday and Monday off. Then work became busy and I my schedule was conveniently “adjusted” to have Friday and Sunday off. UGH.

I probably shouldn’t complain because most career men and women would love to lounge around on Friday. Not this girl. It just makes Saturday at work worse. I miss having two free days in a row.

This particular Monday morning was misery. I overslept, I barely got my shower in, I had to beg Goofball to get Doodlebug dressed for me. I almost hit a squirrel, I spilled my cappuccino in the car and Doodlebug spilled his sippy cup of milk all over his car seat.

I can almost hear my mother’s voice saying, “It’s because you didn’t go to CHURCH! God is punishing you!” My parents are very, VERY Catholic and whenever something goes awry in life, they believe in prayer, saying the rosary and going to church is all you need to fix whatever problem you have. I’m sure there’s some truth to their claims, I’m not entirely skeptical, but I don’t fully believe I’m being punished for not going to church on Palm Sunday. But then why do I feel guilty about missing mass?

It’s funny how religion messes with my head now and then. I was raised with the “fear of God” and always went to church every Sunday with my family. My parents expected all of us kids to pay attention, sing along, and go through all the “motions” (sit, stand, kneel). I always felt forced into attending when I was young, but now as an adult, I do like going. I try to be a good Catholic, but I usually fall of the wagon when Lent rolls around. I forget that I have to fast and not eat meat on Fridays. I forget to go to confession, I forget to read the bible, I forget to attend important services like Ash Wednesday and Palm Sunday. And I always feel guilty about it. You’d think by now I’d know how things will turn out and make the effort to get my rear in gear!

So maybe it’s true! Maybe I overslept this morning because I missed Palm Sunday services. Maybe the Doodlebug was overly crabby because he wasn’t blessed by Father Trempe during mass. Maybe I almost hit that squirrel on the way to work because I didn’t go to confession. See? Do you see the neurotic thoughts that run through my head?

Maybe, I’m just suffering from Catholic Guilt and it’s all in my head…