April 24, 2013

Get Fit or Die

It’s no secret that I struggle with my weight. I have for years. The scale has fluctuated more than I care to admit. I’ve had two pregnancies in which weight was an issue. I gained too much with Owen and wasn’t able to lose it all. Add to that the weight I still carried from my first pregnancy and it’s definitely an obstacle.

It doesn’t help matters that I have Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS), a metabolic disorder that causes various ailments and struggles; I have endured hair loss, fibroids, premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD) and ovarian cysts just to name a few. This disease affects metabolism and thyroid; it can cause women to have unwanted facial hair while also losing the hair on her head. It also affects how a woman loses weight; it can even cause unexplained weight gain.

Doctors advise PCOS sufferers to begin exercising, portion control and eliminating “bad” carbs. Sometimes these solutions don’t work at all and medication is required. I used to take Metformin (also known as Glucophage, which is typically prescribed for Type II diabetes) and it caused terrible stomach upset for me.

I’ve started and stopped exercising repeatedly. I’ve tried various “food plans” only to fall prey to yo-yo dieting and depression. Sure, I’d lose a few pounds here and there, but I always hit a plateau and would give up. I couldn’t stand looking in the mirror. I hated having my picture taken. I avoided the camera at all costs.

After ten plus years of enduring this insanity, I decided to make a change. I’ve been a member of Anytime Fitness for almost a year. When I first began working out there, I absolutely loved it. I could go to the gym when it was convenient for me and I didn’t have to worry about childcare. Several months into my membership I tried group training with a wonderful trainer, Dave Candra, who helped me to learn about exercise and nutrition. After 6 weeks training ended and my motivation waned. I got busy with school, kids and work and let my health and wellbeing sit on the back burner. Truth be told, I found every excuse in the book and used it. I had fallen prey to the old bad habits.

My brother is getting married this September and a few weeks ago I realized the wedding is six months away. I’m not a bridesmaid (thank God) but I do want to look and feel my best for this very special occasion. Visions of crying in dressing rooms danced in my head and I realized I can’t do this alone. I need help in losing weight.

I decided it was time to hire a personal trainer. Thankfully, my dear friend Dave had some referrals for me and I began training with Justin on April 11th. That first day was rough. It took 10 minutes to run half a mile. Yes, HALF a mile. Two years ago I ran the Couch-2-5k program and got up to 30 minutes. Then I quit running because someone said I had huge thighs and I believed them.

My second day of training was April 15th. Justin had me work my legs. Squats, lunges, burpees and more. It took four days to recover from the soreness. I could barely get up from one of the lunges. I cried when I got home.

I’ve had a total of 5 sessions so far and I’m improving every day. I am gradually building muscle and endurance. I gained weight before losing it but I’ve lost several inches. I’d love to tell you this is easy, but it is more work than I ever imagined it would be. There are days when I don’t think I can do it. The physical exertion is so much that I feel like I’m going to vomit. But I keep pushing through it. I keep talking myself into working through the pain. So much of this training is mental preparation. Mind over matter.

I won’t give up. I have five more months of training left before the wedding. My goal is to lose 80 pounds. You wouldn’t think I’d have that much to lose, but I’m short and I carry it well. But I’m tired of being heavy and I’m ready to be healthy and happy. And hot. Of course I want to look good.

This journey is just beginning. It’s either get fit or die. I want to be around for my husband and kids. I want to feel good about myself. So, I am making the change. For good this time.

March 11, 2013

If Only We Could Buy Time

One of the most difficult things I deal with is management of time.  I have a lot on my plate right now, and I’m constantly moving from one thing to the next, always feeling like I’m forgetting something or someone in the process. The other day I nearly forgot to pick up the little guy from daycare. I was making a list in my head about what I needed to do once I got home from work – CLEARLY I should have put the boys at the top.

It’s a constant struggle.  I get up in the morning and run around the house, getting the boys dressed in fed in a frenzy.  I barely brush my hair let alone put on make-up.  Then I run through a list of to-dos from memory.  Did I let the dog outside? Did I turn of the lights? Am I wearing socks that match?

I drive myself crazy.

After dropping off each child at different daycare facilities, I rush into work, put in eight hours only to rush to pick up kids, get home, make dinner, do homework, and any other thing I may be forgetting right now.  My school work is usually done until 11:30 at night and I barely get eight hours of sleep.  And the gym!  Who has time to workout?

Don’t get me wrong, my husband tries to help, but he thinks I’m Super Woman so he doesn’t seem to realize when I’m stressed.  He does only what he thinks needs to be done and the rest is left to me.  No wonder I’m tired and crabby.

I keep trying to remember this won’t last forever.  Just one more year of school after this semester ends.  Things will only be chaotic for a little while longer.

It can’t get any worse.  Right?

I just wish I had more time to do everything.  If only we could buy more time…

March 10, 2013

Loving the iPad

A few weeks ago we bought a new iPad with my bonus from work. The kids are in love with this new technology and I am pretty sure I’m hooked, too. We’ve downloaded apps, recorded video and played around with the silly camera functions.  I’m blogging via iPad right now and it’s pretty cool. Time consuming (considering the pecking of keys), but I just wanted to try it. Yes, I am behind the times. I know this.

It’s fun to play around with this, but I’m really not getting much done around the house. There are so many awesome things to check out.  Dawson found a 2nd grade math app that he loves and Owen is enjoying an ABC game that he is very good at playing. And the Huz just spends his time on the Weather Channel app.  I’m addicted to Words with Friends.

Who knew this thing would be this much fun?

March 2, 2013

March 2nd

I figured I’d be consistent and get my blog post in for the month.  Look!  It’s March 2nd!  When the hell did that happen?

I can’t keep up with blogging and work and school and kids and a husband.  It’s just too much.  I don’t know how my old blog friends do this every.single.day.  Who has the time?  I used to have time, lots of time, but not anymore.

This past week at work was just chaos.   I had off Monday to attend a funeral.  My cousin J passed away after battling cancer for many long months.  Her death was unexpected because she was a fighter, and we thought she would win this war.  When my mother gave me the news, I was angry and sad and confused.  It’s always the good ones who leave this Earth before their time.  J and her husband, whom we call Butch, had spent lots of time with my family over the years, mostly attending polka dances and festivals.  J loved polka music and her funeral mass was a polka mass.  It was her last wish.  I’m really going to miss her.  She was an amazing woman.

The rest of the week just dragged on.  Wednesday was our “Bonus Day” in which our annual bonuses were revealed.  Let’s just say I was very happy.  We finally bought an iPad and have money left over.  Dawson and Owen love to play around with the camera on it, too:

iPad Addicts

I’ve been battling a cold/sinus infection since last Friday.  It’s been miserable.  I haven’t been able to concentrate on anything for too long.  I’m constantly blowing my nose and coughing.  I’m starting to feel better, but I’m so ready for it to be gone.

The boys had a birthday party today and had so much fun.  Our friends had a combined party for their three kids.  There were at least 25 kids in attendance.  I would have been freaking out with all those kids running around, but they managed it with no problems at all.  I suppose it helps to be organized!  I don’t know how they did it.

Tomorrow we have Easter pictures for the boys.  It’s the first time we’ve done a professional photo for them, other than school portraits.  I’m super excited to see how they turn out.

We finally got our tax return back and I’ve been paying bills the last two days.  It is nice to get these things out of the way.  We’re finally saving money instead of spending it.  I’m hoping we can save enough in our emergency fund, and a little extra for vacation.  We’ve not gone on vacation in so long.  It’s all I can think about, I’m so over winter.

Until next month…