May 8, 2012

One Week To Go

I have one week of school left.  One. Week.  Graduation is next Thursday and I’m super excited, however, I have so much homework to finish and time is ticking by. I hate being so busy that I can’t think straight.

Dawson was supposed to have T-ball tonight but as I was leaving work it started to rain.  I saw a few strikes of lightning and figured the games would be canceled.  After picking up both boys from school/daycare we came home to a voice mail message from his coach letting us know we wouldn’t be playing tonight.  I was actually relieved.  I had plans to get some school work done.

The second I sat down at my laptop, Owen decided he needed my full attention.  He wouldn’t let me out of his sight. The whining and crying was enough to stop me and instead of math homework I had to watch Cars 2 with him.  Ten minutes into it, I fell asleep on the couch and woke up an hour ago.  I’m so mad at myself right now.

Doug is working until 11 p.m. tonight.  This is a rare situation.  One of the managers quit and they have no one to replace him so Doug and the other department managers are filling in.  I’m wishing he were home so I could get things done.

It’s going to be a late night of studying again.

March 24, 2012

Marching into Spring

I’m just going to roll my eyes and laugh because I’ve done it again.  I swore I would start to blog more regularly and then a month goes by and I realize I haven’t written a new post.  I used to love blogging.  I used to wake up and want to write.  I don’t know know what happened to me.  I mean, yeah, I’m busy.  But who isn’t?  I have spent the morning visiting all the blogs I used to read religiously and I’m sad that I’ve missed so much.  I don’t even know how long it’s been since I stopped reading blogs.  I’ll never catch up with my favorite blogger’s lives.  It could take years.

I have realized that blogging stopped being a priority in my life around the time Owen was born.  Instead of embracing the opportunity to document his milestones I felt an intense need for privacy.  I needed to devote time to living life and being with my children.  Writing publicly about them seemed like a mistake.  I wasn’t a blogger until Dawson was about 3 years old and I never really shared too much about him, either.

Sometimes I regret not sharing my memories, and I want to begin now.  But where do I start?

I could tell you (is there anyone out there?) about how Owen is almost 2 1/2 and he is talking up a storm.  His explosion of speech only started in the last month or so.  He’s been saying a only a handful of words for the last 9 months, but now he’s jabbering all day long.  It’s like watching a toddler talk show.  He tells me about the chippy (chipmunk) that got hit by a car near Grandma’s house.  He talks about playing football with his Guy.  That’s what he calls his big brother.  He refuses to say Dawson’s name.  Instead he’ll say things like, “Where my Guy go?” after Dawson leaves for school.  It’s the cutest thing.

This morning he found the stash of sour gummy worms and Jolly Rancher jelly beans I’ve been hiding until Easter.  He brought the bags to me and said, “Mumma, me have gummy?  Me have gemmy bean?”  I just giggled.  The cute is killing me.   It’s not so cute when he tells me “no” however.  I will ask him to pick up his toys and he just gives me a devilish grin and says, “No!”  I can’t get upset with him, though.  He’s just too cute.

Owen is fascinated with Bob the Builder.  When Dawson was around 3 years old we visited the National Railroad Museum in Green Bay, Wisconsin.  Thomas the Train was there and we bought Dawson a set of Thomas trains and Bob the Builder toys.  Owen is learning all the machines’ names.  I love hearing him say, “Scoop” and “Muck” because he’s so animated when he does.  Dawson pulled all the old Bob DVDs out of the cabinet and every day we watch an episode.  Owen just loves this show.  Just like his Guy.

Dawson is a first grader now.  He’s reading and practicing addition and subtraction.  I can’t get over how much he’s grown.  At 7 years old, his favorite things are Star Wars Legos, watching the Clone Wars cartoon on TV and playing soccer.  He loves playing with the neighbor boys across the street, too.  They are home-schooled, and after Dawson does his homework he runs across the street to ride bikes with them.

As for me, I’m just busy finishing school, studying for my insurance exam and working full time.  We’re working hard to save money so we can start remodeling our bathroom and eventually the kitchen.  We are also trying to plan a family vacation but everyone has different opinions about where we should go and what we should do.  Dawson wants Disney World.  Doug wants to go to Canada.  I’m just happy with getting away from the chaos for a few days.

Welcome to my world.

Crazy. Busy. Fun.

The weather in Wisconsin has been unusually warm.  We never really had much snow and a few weeks ago the temperatures were in the 70s and 80s.  On my birthday (St. Patrick’s Day) it was 76 degrees.  I don’t remember having a birthday in which I could have sunbathed.  I didn’t of course.  I’m not swimsuit ready by any means.  That’s another thing I’m tackling.  I gained a few pounds over the holidays and I haven’t had a chance to get back to the gym.  I definitely need to shed this weight.  Once and for all.

Wah.  I feel like I’m whining and rambling.

Enough about me.  Time to get back to reading your blogs.   I miss you all.

February 10, 2012

February, Already?

Dawson and Owen are sick.  The poor little ones have caught a nasty bug.  Dawson missed school yesterday and today.  He’s been coughing and he can barely talk, I took his temperature and freaked out when it read 103.3 – thank God for children’s ibuprofen.  Owen had a fever of 102.9 and I gave him half a dose just to be safe.

Right now they are curled up on the couch watching something on the Disney channel.  It’s almost 10:30 here.  I feel guilty for letting them stay up this late, but they’ve been sleeping most of the day.  I’m pretty sure their sleep cycles are completely messed up.  I’ll probably pay for that tomorrow.

Doug had the day off and he took care of the boys while I went to work.  I’d almost rather have stayed home.  My day was totally unproductive.  We had a meeting from 10 a.m. to 11:30 and it put a wrench in my day.  I just couldn’t get back on track.  The audits I had to review were missing something; paperwork, questions not fully answered, uncooperative insureds.  I couldn’t wait for the day to end.  I can only hope Monday is better.

I’m worried about the kiddos.  I really hope Dawson starts feeling better quickly.  Sunday afternoon is his Cub Scout troop’s Pinewood Derby.  He and his father have been working on that car for days and Dawson is so proud of the work they did.  I loved seeing them spend time together, working on a project that seemed to be a lot of fun for them both.  They have yet to paint the car but I’m sure they’ll tackle it tomorrow.

I spent most of my night cuddling with Owen who is very clingy when he’s sick.  After awhile I had to have Doug take my place so I could get some of my homework completed.  This semester has been very crazy. Four classes is a lot!  I knew I’d have to focus, but I feel like I’m burning the candle at both ends.  Add in the insurance designation course I’m taking through work — it’s no wonder I’m always tired.

I love school and I’m looking forward to graduating this May, but it really is difficult to study and raise a family and work 40 hours a week.  I don’t know what I was thinking.  I’m no Wonder Woman.

The only thing keeping me going is the light at the end of a dark tunnel.  13 weeks to go until graduation…

January 1, 2012

The Dirty “R” Word

2011 was quite a year.  I’m actually glad it is over.  It’s difficult for me to describe all of the things I experienced because so much of 2011 was influenced by 2010.  And 2010 was mostly carryover from 2009 when my life changed so dramatically and I don’t think I ever really caught my breath.

I have had a rough road since October ’09.  I stopped working for BlogHer and weeks later gave birth to my little Owen.  Our finances took a nosedive and I was forced back to work in the “real world” which was very emotional.  I had a difficult time leaving my baby to work only part-time.

The job at Joerns sucked, but I did what needed to be done to support my family.  My dissatisfaction with that horrid company is what led me to go back to school in January 2011.  I was determined to do better for myself.  That determination — my ambition — is what helped me get the job I have now at Sentry.  I knew that I deserved better.

Here I am a year later, beginning my final semester in two weeks, with graduation  just around the corner.  I am darn proud of myself for managing to go to school, work full time and raise two wonderful boys with the help of my husband.  (If that’s not an amazing accomplishment…what is?)

This New Year’s Day I made a resolution not to make any resolutions.  I can’t help but laugh.  Insert FAIL here.  Now that THAT is out of the way…

The thing is, I could sit here and write down all the things I need or want to change in the New Year but I have realized that resolutions have expectations that weigh me down.  Resolutions make me feel like I “have to” do something and do it perfectly lest the New Year would be jinxed.   Resolution.  Ugh.  Makes me shudder just reading it.

Instead, I have decided to live life one day at a time with no great expectations or big dreams of perfection.  I would rather be present in my life, living day by day, embracing the good and the not so good, and learning from my experiences.

I think this New Year is already off on the right foot.

Happy New Year, Everyone!